Entry 004 - Sports Night 101 (Pilot)
In which we hear voices from the ether
SERIES: Sports Night
EPISODE NUMBER: 101
TITLE: Pilot
PREMIERE: 22 Sep 1998
DIRECTOR: Thomas Schlamme
PILOT SCRIPT: HTML
If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the first three entries of this project, it’s that the relationship between a writer and his director is very important. If the writer and director are not on the same page, then the end result will inevitably be flawed. Establish a strong working relationship between writer and director, however, and you can expect greatness. It’s therefore lucky for English speakers everywhere that Mr. Sorkin would meet Tommy Schlamme, a director-slash-producer who at the time they met was perhaps most well known for his recent work with E.R., including as the director to their season four premiere live episode. The resulting partnership between Mr. Sorkin and Mr. Schlamme lasted nearly a decade, which means the majority of the entries for this project will be from the results of this partnership.
At that point having recently awoken from his script doctoring funk, Mr. Sorkin wrote two TV pilot scripts that would go on to be produced under Mr. Schlamme’s guidance. It is the second of these pilot scripts that would go on to be produced first: a half-hour comedy for ABC called Sports Night, a behind-the-scenes look at a fictional sports news show partially modeled after ESPN’s SportsCenter, then hosted by Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick. As with most TV pilots, the original pilot script for Sports Night is available for public perusal online, so we’ll be looking at some things that changed between pilot script and episode production.
Let’s start with the renaming game: what is called throughout the series the Continental Sports Channel is instead unimaginatively called the Sports News Network (or SNN) in the pilot script, which won’t be the last time Mr. Sorkin had trouble nailing down a TV network name for a series. Also! Remember back in A Few Good Men when the Barnes surname was passed from one character to another? Here we have another instance of that: Dan Rydell was originally named Dan Rosen in the pilot script. Where did the Rydell surname come from? Why, none other than Natalie Hurley, who was originally named Natalie Rydell. (And the shippers rejoice…)
Beyond the renaming game, the pilot does exhibit changes to a few characters’ roles and personalities, but it also betrays a rather significant change to the A plot of the episode as well, which resulted in a couple of scenes getting rewritten entirely and a couple of other scenes getting more added to them. We’ll take a closer look at these rewrites as we now step through the episode.
MAN: (V.O.) Studio A, this is Master Control, you’re up on Router 7, have a good show.
Huh… I guess our guy from the bar thought he was more cut out for voice work?
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Will
Previous instance: A Few Good Men
DANA: Will, show me Denver.
NATALIE: And I need 15 points of sound on Kansas City.
RETURNING Sorkin Player: Ron Ostrow
Character: Will
Previous appearance: A Few Good Men
WILL: Denver’s up.
DANA: Yes, it is. Give me Green Bay.
DAVE: Stand by audio, stand by VTR.
WILL: Georgia Dome’s hot.
KIM: You’re hot, Atlanta.
NEW Sorkin Player: Timothy Davis-Reed
Character: Chris
CHRIS: Somebody? Arrowhead then back to Mile High, is that how it goes?
NEW Sorkin Player: Greg Baker
Character: Elliot
ELLIOT: We’re live here in 60 seconds.
CHRIS: Somebody? Anybody?
KIM: What do you need?
CHRIS: Does Arrowhead —
KIM: Arrowhead bounces to Mile High.
CHRIS: Thank you.
NEW Sorkin Player: Felicity Huffman
Character: Dana Whitaker
DAVE: Why’d you change that?
DANA: Just to mess with your head.
I understand maybe half of what was just said, but I like the way it all sounds.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dan/Danny
Previous instance: A Few Good Men
DAN: When you get right down to it, what I’m saying is this, Case — I think you should start getting out of your house.
WOMAN: Dan, we’re going to Arrowhead first then to Denver.
DAN: Got it. (back to Casey) Just out of your house.
CASEY: I am out of my house. I’ve been out of my house for six months. I don’t live at my house.
Yep, we’re making music as usual!
NEW Sorkin Name: Jaffee/Jaffey
ISAAC: Good evening.
DANA: Isaac Jaffee’s in the house, Natalie.
NATALIE: Yo.
Oh, listen, sister, you’re too white to be saying ‘yo’…
NEW Sorkin Name: Casey
NATALIE: (yelling into mic) Casey, did you get the change on Arrowhead and Denver?
CASEY: Natalie, if you shout into a microphone when I’m wearing an earpiece, it poses the question, “Is there a decibel level where the human head will just, you know, explode?”
Damn, with as emotive as he’s being, that hair and makeup woman has her work cut out for her. “Stay still, damnit!”
ISAAC: Is he in a better mood than he was this morning or is this going to be another crappy show?
DANA: (into mic) Hey, Casey, Isaac wants to know if you’re in a better mood —
CASEY: Shut up.
DANA: Pretty crappy, yeah.
“But, hey, we’re desperate.”
DAN: Uh, excuse me?
DANA: Dan’s got his hand raised.
First notable change: in the original pilot script, Casey is the one to raise his hand and offer the correction. That changed to Dan for shooting, which makes sense given the context of the rest of the episode.
NEW Sorkin Name: Elliot
NATALIE: Elliot! Get something up on the ‘net.
ELLIOT: What do you need?
NATALIE: We think Helsinki might be in Finland.
DAN: Yeah, we think there’s a pretty good chance.
Pause here and remember this shot, we’re going to be coming back to it eventually.
NEW Dialogue Motif: “Cruise director” quip
DAN: So we can go out after the show, you can stay at my place. Whatever you need, whatever you need…
CASEY: I’m getting a divorce, I don’t need a cruise director.
“And shuffleboard is not really my thing anyway.”
ELLIOT: Yeah — Finland. The national bird is the Whooping Swan.
A fact check corrected the pilot script from Pheasant to Whooping Swan. I suppose Mr. Sorkin was just getting the hang of the internet?
DAN: Columbia 34, Colgate 3 — who owes me money?
Woah, hold on! Sports betting? In my sports news organization? Surely that would have been frowned upon on the SportsCenter set! Granted, I’m not exactly in-tune with the sports universe, but still…
KIM: A guy called him something he didn’t like and Grissom hit him with a bottle of Cognac.
ELLIOT: It was brandy.
KIM: It was Cognac.
ELLIOT: It was Courvasier.
KIM: Courvasier is Cognac.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.
DAN: You get me the lawyer, you get me the agent, then get us Jayson Grissom on the phone.
KIM: We can’t get Grissom on the phone!
DAN: Yes, you can.
ELLIOT: We’re trying!
DAN: Try harder!
“Oh, yeah, thanks for the constructive critique, man.”
NEW Dialogue Motif: ‘Motherly’ dig
DAN: You come in early?
CASEY: I came in early.
DAN: Did you sleep in the office?
CASEY: I came in early.
DAN: You came in yesterday.
CASEY: Mom?!
What is that noise I keep hearing?
DAN: Have I told you about my New York Renaissance?
CASEY: Yeah, a lot, you’ve told me about your New York Renaissance a lot.
“Which makes it even more embarrassing for you that this show is actually shot in LA.”
NEW Dialogue Motif: Hell in a hand-basket/cart
ISAAC: I think the show’s going to hell in a hand-basket and I’m ready to fire the whole bunch of you.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Like a daughter to (you)
DANA: Yes, but you won’t, ‘cause we’re all like family here and I’m very much like a daughter to you.
ISAAC: No — this is a television show here and you’re very much like an employee to me.
This last line from Isaac is actually a remnant of his character getting a minor personality rewrite from pilot script to shoot. We’ll be diving more into that in a moment.
DANA: Isaac… (struggles for words)
ISAAC: What, is there something going on between the two of you?
DANA: Absolutely not.
Thank you for saying that without any hesitation whatsoever, I definitely believe you.
DANA: He’s having some personal problems —
ISAAC: Oh, I know all about his ‘problems’. You know, the network knows about his problems, too, as a result of which they’ve become my problems, and I’m saying at the very most, I want them to be your problems.
Repetition, repetition, repetition yields music.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Nobody cares
DAN: It’s a genuine renaissance, Casey. I have lived in New York my whole life. This is the time I should be sick of it, but I’m not.
CASEY: Because you’re having a renaissance?
DAN: That’s right!
CASEY: Really?
DAN: Yeah.
CASEY: Nobody cares.
Seriously, where is that noise coming from?
DANA: We’ve been short-handed since Phil and Michael left.
ISAAC: Well, hire somebody.
DANA: Natalie’s been interviewing some people for an Associate Producer position, and I’m meeting her finalist this afternoon.
NATALIE: You guys, he is so totally cute, and intense, with a dark mystery about him that says, “This is not a technician, this is an artist.”
(DANA and ISAAC stare at NATALIE)
It’s been a while for you, has it?
Another change from pilot script to shoot: we went from having over-worked interns and looking for more interns to being short-handed and looking for a new associate producer. Natalie herself also received a title bump from associate producer to senior associate producer to accommodate that change.
CASEY: They’re gonna cut Santori.
NATALIE: The placekicker?
CASEY: He’s made eight field goal attempts in the last three games and has connected on a grand total of none of them.
ELLIOT: I’ve met him, he’s a good guy.
CASEY: Can’t kick.
NATALIE: He is a good guy.
CASEY: Can’t kick.
NATALIE: He’ll get picked up by another team.
CASEY: No, he won’t, you know why?
ELLIOT: Why?
CASEY: ‘Cause he can’t kick.
Guys, seriously, I think something may be wrong with the audio of this show, I keep hearing this random sound…
ELLIOT: I saw him kick in practice.
CASEY: At this level, they pretty much want you to be able to kick in a game.
Side note: at the time this episode was shot, the place kicker for the Cincinnati Bengals was not someone named Santori, but rather Doug Pelfrey, who at the time was actually among the most accurate place kickers in the NFL. The Bengals had not made playoffs since 1990, though, which is probably why Mr. Sorkin made them the target of his whimsy with this exchange.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dana
Previous instance: Malice
DANA: Commercial two, then on to segment 24 —
J.J.: Actually, I’d like to go back to 23, if nobody minds.
DANA: Any chance we can do that a little later? I want to move this along.
J.J.: The network would like me to address this now.
DAN: J.J., Dana’s the producer, we like to give her the impression that she’s in charge.
DANA: It’s just that we’re a little short on time. Segment 24 —
J.J.: I have some concerns with segment 23.
CASEY: Is this you or the network?
J.J.: In these meetings, Casey, mine is the voice of the network.
Okay, here we go — this scene as we see it was basically completely rewritten from how it is in the pilot script, the only thing noticeably remaining intact being Dan’s interjections about his New York renaissance. The character of J.J., rather than being a network goon, was originally simply a staffer who draws others’ ridicule by suggesting they defend Jayson Grissom (who, by the way, is not a real basketball player). In that exchange…
Actually, you know what, we got some classic Sorkin dialogue in the original — impromptu solo table read!
The scene then transitions into the discussion about Ntozake Nelson, as we see in the final product — sort of.
J.J.: Look, I’m all for you guys spotlighting our other programming. But can’t we find a good looking, 22-year-old American who might actually win?
DANA: Well, if you find him, send him over to my place…
Ayo?
J.J.: I have a ratings book on my desk that’s very instructive. Now, it says that our key demographics, including 11 to 17 year olds who watch our morning rerun over breakfast, do not want to see features on 41-year-old politically oppressed Third World distance runners. Now, they are instructing us, and I think it’s a good idea to listen.
Good fucking lord, did he just call South Africa a Third World country?
Once again, the scene as we see it isn’t what was in the pilot script: instead of only J.J. objecting to the Ntozake Nelson feature on network demographic grounds, we have objections being registered from both lowly staffer J.J. and… managing editor Isaac Jaffee! While J.J. simply sarcastically offers his skepticism about Ntozake Nelson’s ability to even finish the race (“logic says Ntozake Nelson can’t go 15,000 meters in a golf cart”), Isaac shuts down the idea for the feature on the grounds that it won’t turn heads away from ESPN, Nightline, or the hundreds of M*A*S*H reruns during their time-slot. Isaac’s concern about ratings got traded off to J.J. in that character’s rewrite, while Isaac receives even more character tweaking we’ll see later in this scene.
Also, another side note: it’s always fun to hear how far from the mean I am at times. J.J. indicates a key demographic of the show being 11-17 year olds watching reruns over breakfast. In my case, I actually did watch SportsCenter as a kid over breakfast, but when my age was still in the single digits. By the time I turned 11, I had moved on to watching the Weather Channel over breakfast instead.
… Stop laughing.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Résumé recitation
Running count: 4
CASEY: J.J., Danny and I have hosted shows in the fifth and third largest markets in this country and we have received awards for journalistic excellence. I prefer not to take my instructions from 11-year-olds — and the next time you sit in one of our meetings and I hear the voice of the network come out of your mouth, I’m gonna put my foot on your throat. (exits)
Well, if we ever find J.J. dead, we’ll know whom to arrest!
DANA: You ever ride the subway all day long? I mean, just for the fun of it?
Eh… this line is actually rather double-edged. On the one hand, you could argue that Dan’s simply trying sarcastically to ease the tension in the room; on the other hand, it could be argued that this line serves to establish Dan as something of an airhead — which, you know, given that this is a half-hour comedy is not beyond the realm of possibility! That his monologue about discretion earlier got cut certainly doesn’t help his case here so far.
NEW Verbal Tic: And you know it
J.J.: At the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor, and you know it, Danny. Now, I think that the time has come for you to think about the possibility of another partner.
DAN: I’m not gonna do the show with your high school driving instructor, J.J., if that’s what you’re asking me, okay?
“That’d be an unusual creative direction for Sports Night.”foreshadowing detected
RETURNING Sorkin Name: McCall
Previous instance: The American President
J.J.: You have a very big future on this network.
DANA: My future is writing and anchoring a sports show with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it’s here, it’s here. If it’s not, it is someplace else.
Here’s some classic Sorkin here: someone measuring their success in their career by how strong of a friendship they have with their colleague or colleagues. Dan’s continuing his career in sports broadcasting is contingent on his doing so with Casey, full stop — which makes the rewriting of the A plot to this episode all the more pungent.
As originally written, word that Casey was planning to leave the show had made it through the office grapevine to everyone except Dan. Instead of Casey taking a call from Grissom to leave the meeting, Dan takes a call about Grissom to leave the room, at which point Natalie attempts to goad Casey into telling Dan. Following an exchange where Casey expresses his displeasure at Dana telling Natalie and Natalie telling everyone else (“Entre nous, you know what that means?”), Dan comes back into the room and after a wind-up demands everyone tell him what’s going on — at which point Isaac attempts to ease into the subject before Casey finally flatly tells Dan he’s leaving the show. This contrivance mercifully got rewritten for the final product, and I do mean mercifully — there will be more to come on this subject.
ISAAC: I really gotta admire the way you manhandled my staff this morning, J.J.
J.J.: Look, Isaac, I have a specific —
ISAAC: Look! (beat) Don’t take me on.
“I got a whole resistance network at my beck and call!”
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing
Running count: 2
ISAAC: It’s your call, Dana… but pretty soon, it’s gonna be my call… ‘cause here’s the thing: I can’t let it be their call.
Once again, instead of being a man primarily concerned with viewership, Isaac was changed into a benevolent boss who won’t hesitate to defend his staff to the network, even while he may still ream them privately. That character design will be quite the mainstay in Sorkin works, as we’ll see in the future.
DANA: They can put a Tonka truck on Mars and send me pictures, but I can’t get a decent satellite picture from Buenos Err-es. [sic]
Good lord, people, how hard is it to pronounce Buenos Aires correctly?
RETURNING Sorkin Player: Joshua Malina
Character: Jeremy Goodwin
Previous appearances: The American President, Malice, A Few Good Men
JEREMY: I think you’re leasing time on the East Tech Keyhole satellite and their signal gets cleared through a tracking station in Mexico City.
DANA: Yeah, but the point I’m making is that I can’t — who-who-who is this?
Oh, him? He’s only the best job hopper in the entire world!
NEW Sorkin Name: Goodwin
JEREMY: I’m Jeremy Goodwin.
DANA: Oh, you’re here for the associate producer job.
JEREMY: Yes, and let me just say it is an extraordinary honor even to be asked —
DANA: I’m not ready for you yet.
JEREMY: I’ll sit right here.
DANA: 23 degrees latitude.
JEREMY: South latitude.
DANA: Ah… I get them mixed up.
JEREMY: Common mistake!
You want to get that foot out of your mouth, my guy?
CASEY: Listen, I need you to take 30 seconds off the NFL injury report and give it to me on the intro for ACC recruiting violations.
Ah, hell, what did Chapel Hill do this time?
DANA: You’re screwing up my show, Casey.
CASEY: … Keep the 30 seconds.
DANA: That’s not what I mean.
CASEY: I know. I was joking.
DANA: I know you were joking.
CASEY: Yeah, I could tell by the way you didn’t laugh at all when I said it.
DANA: That’s ‘cause I’m mad at you and also it wasn’t that funny.
No kidding — if you gave me a choice between listening to music and listening to Sorkin dialogue, I’d have to think about it.
CASEY: Dana, did you come in here to give me a pep talk? ‘Cause if you came in here to give me a pep talk, can we just assume that it already happened, that it worked, and that I’m peppy?
That line was not in the original pilot script — presumably it got added in due to a shortage of time as a result of the other changes. Mr. Sorkin makes it work.
DANA: Now, I know that you think that there are 250 other people in [this business who can produce this show —
CASEY: (overlapping) [No, I don’t think that there are 250 other people who can produce this show.]
DANA: — yes, you do! And whether you’re right] and whether you’re wrong…
And here’s one of our first duets! People talking over each other has become known as a Sorkin staple at this point, but as I briefly noted in The American President, early on actors had some trouble pulling off exchanges where the script called for someone interrupting someone else. We’ll be seeing other examples of that in future entries — in this case, though, we have an actual well-executed example.
Side note: I really do have to say, I’m at a complete loss as to how live shows like the in-universe Sports Night can be programmed down to the minute like we hear they are here. I suppose someone practiced enough in the craft would be able to predict how long it would take them to say something they’ve written in their own rhythm, but even with that in mind we’ll see instances throughout this show of people throwing out minutes and seconds for a news item before a single word is even written for it. I suppose that’s just a bit of black magic I’ll have to accept as a given…
NEW Sorkin Drink: Fresca
NATALIE: Would you like a glass of water?
JEREMY: No, thank you.
NATALIE: A soft drink? We have Fresca.
DANA: If you’re taking orders, I’ll have the angel-hair pasta and a nice merlot…
“Cut! Come on, Ms. Huffman, you know it says Chardonnay in the script!”
JEREMY: (getting up) I can come back later —
DANA: What are your favorite sports?
JEREMY: (crawls back onto the couch) Beg your pardon?
You need that much effort to find the couch again, my guy?
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Walk[ed] into that [one]
Previous instances: A Few Good Men (multiple)
DANA: Where are you strongest?
JEREMY: Oh — football!
DANA: Let’s talk about basketball.
JEREMY: I said football.
DANA: I heard you. Let’s talk about basketball.
JEREMY: We could talk about baseball or hockey.
DANA: Oh, you’re pretty strong in baseball and hockey, are ya?
JEREMY: Not as strong as football, but —
DANA: Good! Let’s talk about the Knicks.
JEREMY: I wanted right into that one, didn’t I?
DANA: Well, I left the door wide open for you.
NATALIE: Shot of bourbon?
JEREMY: Please.
DANA: Sit! (beat) I’m sorry, that was harsh, I hurt your feelings. (pause for laughter)
(sigh) Okay, I can’t tap-dance around the subject anymore.
When ABC was first developing this show, Mr. Sorkin fought for the show not to have a laugh track… and lost. As a result, there are plenty of instances throughout the first season of this show where the laugh track simply feels out of place, and at times like this one, straight up throws off the rhythm of the dialogue, which as we’ve come to understand is a blasphemous act for a Sorkin work. That didn’t appear to stop Mr. Sorkin, however, from implementing several changes from the pilot script that exhibit what I would call an intent to lean into the format of half-hour comedy more than the pilot script originally did.
For example:
- The “just to mess with you” pair of lines in the control room? Not in the pilot script.
- The “pretty crappy” exchange? Not in the pilot script.
- The Courvasier argument? Not in the pilot script.
- Casey calling Dan ‘mom’? Not in the pilot script — in fact, it was traded in for the following exchange:
PILOT DAN: You came in yesterday.
PILOT CASEY: Don’t worry about it. Elliot —
PILOT DAN: Let say also that you don’t look that good.
PILOT CASEY: Then let me point to recent data that suggests that a considerable portion of viewers think that I’m the cute one.
PILOT DAN: A considerable portion of our viewers are men. And God knows I agree with each and every one of ‘em. My point was that this particular morning — forget it. Have I told you about my New York renaissance?
Furthermore:
- Isaac’s “something between you two” interrogatory? Not in the pilot script.
- Natalie overheating on her description of Jeremy in the rundown meeting? Not in the pilot script.
- The “can’t kick” gag? Not in the pilot script.
- The entire first interaction with Dana and Jeremy? Not in the pilot script.
And finally, the reason I’m bringing up the subject now…
JEREMY: Miss Whitaker, I would be great at this job. You gotta believe me when I say I’ve been training my whole life for it. I’ve crunched stats, I’ve broken down film, and there wasn’t a team at my high school that didn’t have me as an equipment manager. I have read every box score in every newspaper that’s printed in English and has a sports section, and I have seen Sports Night every night since your first broadcast two years, two months, and a week ago today. Now yes; sure; indeed — I can tell you what Ewing and Oakley are shooting from the field, and that you’re not gonna stop John Starks if he squares up to the basket, and put any defensive pressure on Charlie Ward he’s gonna fold like a cheap card table. But if you’re asking me for genuinely sophisticated analyses, AND I SENSE THAT YOU ARE… (pause for laughter) you gotta give me some time, at least 20 minutes. (pause for applause)
Not in the pilot script! Jeremy’s character in particular got added upon in a manner that just screams “half-hour comedy” at the viewer. Mr. Sorkin did make it work, but at least for me it’s a high-wire act for him that has little margin for error.
NEW Dialogue Motif: I wasn’t listening
JEREMY: Did that make any sense?
DANA: I wasn’t really listening.
JEREMY: Oh, God, I…
DANA: Jeremy, Jeremy! This is television. Things happen. If you wanna work here, you gotta not spontaneously wig out.
NATALIE: Not ‘til an hour before air time.
Uh… did you mean not for an hour before air time? You’re contradicting Dana pretty hard, otherwise.
DANA: (with hand motions) Name three things.
You know, in hindsight, there’s a chance Dana could have accidentally offended Jeremy with those hand motions…
JEREMY: Improve their free throw percentage…
NATALIE: Yes.
JEREMY: Run the floor…
DANA: Okay, one more…
JEREMY: (beat) Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
NATALIE: (jumps up) Excellent!
DANA: Well, welcome to Sports Night.
For those of you who need to look it up like I do, this line about Spike Lee is almost certainly a reference to his infamous interactions with Reggie Miller during the 1994 and 1995 NBA playoffs series between the Knicks and the Indiana Pacers.
Side note: as written in the pilot script, this scene has a button that got dropped by shooting time wherein Dana and Natalie make it clear to Jeremy that he’d be working for two women. When asked if he’d be okay with that, Jeremy jokes he’d pay them for the opportunity. Only cut for time, I suppose…
DAN: (reading) “Dale Earnhardt, Jeff Gordon, and Rusty Wallace were just a few of the big name racers that NASCAR had on hand yesterday at the Darlington Motor Speedway —”
CASEY: Yesterday/Speedway?
DAN: What’s the problem?
CASEY: You don’t want the rhyme — gotta move ‘yesterday’ to the second sentence.
DAN: (semi-mockingly) “… just a few of the big name drivers NASCAR had on hand at the Darlington Motor Speedway. The press event, held yesterday, was to announce…”
In my introduction post to this blog, I rather facetiously did a surface-level comparison on all the works Mr. Sorkin has written for the screen. What I failed to mention during that exercise was a more relevant point of similarity: the TV shows for which Mr. Sorkin has written all have writers among the main characters. Either as a result of that or as an impetus for that, all those shows have multiple instances of one of those writers fretting over the wording of something they are attempting to write — usually out loud, which parallels a writing process Mr. Sorkin has admitted to using himself. This exchange here is the first of those many instances.
Back to the scene: as you’ve probably already gathered, the scene we are about to go through received a hefty reconfiguration as a result of the A plot’s rewrite. In the pilot script, this scene starts with Dan rather childishly expressing his displeasure at being the last to learn Casey’s planning to leave the show (“Casey-Land”/”Danny-World”). Instead, in the episode we see the correct thing happen:
NEW Verbal Tic: And I’ll tell you why
DAN: I think yesterday has to go in the first sentence, and I’ll tell you why —
CASEY: I’ve been thinking about leaving the show.
Casey makes Dan the first person to know he’s considering leaving, which somewhat paradoxically serves to justify Dan’s earlier confidence in his ability to have a successful career with his friend. As much as he exhibits otherwise, Casey wanted Dan to be part of the conversation before he made any further moves.
CASEY: (reading) “But first this — Sacramento power forward Jayson Grissom was released by a judge this morning after posting a $5000 bond.” Which, by the way, he paid in cash he happened to have in his pocket.
DAN: So Jayson Grissom’s a jackass, you know Jayson Grissom.
CASEY: Look, I got into this because people like sports… and I’ve turned into a P.R. man for punks and thugs.
“I’d just as soon be Jim Carrey’s boss!”
CASEY: Now any atrocity, no matter how ridiculous or hideous or childish, it doesn’t matter, I make it sports! Ten cent bagman whacks a skater’s leg with a crowbar, that’s sports.
For those like me who don’t know the reference: the skater in question was Nancy Kerrigan, who was the victim of an assault by baton (rather than crowbar, which was the inaccurate description by an eyewitness to the assailant) to both her legs as part of a racketeering scheme involving another skater.
CASEY: Second round draft pick gets cranky in a Houston bar and that’s sports. And let’s not forget the mother of all great sports stories — a double homicide in Brentwood.
For the two of you reading who don’t get the reference: the double homicide in Brentwood refers to the murder case for which O.J. Simpson was acquitted under the lens of a thoroughly overly-hyped media landscape. If you think I’m exaggerating by saying that, then you should know that TV coverage of the 1994 NBA Finals was literally interrupted to watch some cars driving down I-405 at 35 MPH because one of the cars had O.J. Simpson in the back. I shit you not.
CASEY: I have a seven-year-old son that I get to see on Wednesdays and alternate weekends, and these are his heroes! And now six days a week they’re also his male role models.
Actually, with the alternate weekends, on average it would be five days a week, no? … Okay, I’ll shut up.
DAN: Well, quitting your job oughta do the trick.
CASEY: Look, Danny, I know I’ve leaving you in the lurch —
DAN: No, I mean it. You should definitely quit your job because that way sports will be good again. And your wife… she’ll take you back and you can be a role model for your son — knowing as we do how women and children admire the bitter and unemployed. Are you mental?
CASEY: I’ll see you at airtime.
DAN: Yeah, one thing you definitely don’t want to do is talk to your friends, you wouldn’t want to do that.
CASEY: Hey, I know you’re pissed and that’s fine but canning the sarcasm wouldn’t be out of line.
DAN: ‘Fine’ and ‘line’ rhyme, I’d move ‘fine’ to the second sentence.
The man’s clearly a non-stop sarcasm machine, Casey, I wouldn’t hold my breath on canning it.
NEW Sorkin Name: Lisa
DAN: I’ve been here every day, Casey — every day — and I have kept my mouth shut because that’s what you asked me to do. But if you’d asked me, I would’ve told you that Lisa is an angry, unhappy, punishing woman, and in 10 years there has never been a single moment that has suggested to me that she has any affection for you at all.
No affection at all? And yet they had a kid? sigh Fuckin’ heteronormativity, man…
DAN: Now, the people here — they like you! Isaac, Natalie, Kim, Elliot — I don’t know who this new guy Jeremy is, but he seems to like you just fine!
Once again, we are treated to the philosophy of working with friends — in the right job, your work colleagues will become more like family to you than even your family. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, after all. It should be no surprise to you that this will be a running theme between all of Mr. Sorkin’s TV shows.
DAN: Have you even noticed that Dana’s been keeping J.J. and the network away from you with a whip and a chair? Huh? Have you noticed that she’s been risking her job for you every day?
Not in the pilot script! We again see further implementation of the theme of executive meddling into the final product, which was arguably intended as a subtle “take that” at ABC by Mr. Sorkin. It will become more obvious as the series progresses.
ANNOUNCER: (on TV V.O.) With 900 meters left, this 41 year old Ntozake Nelson is on a pace to absolutely shatter the world record!
ISAAC: Well, go ahead on, old man…
“Cut! Sir, you’re supposed to call him ‘boy’, not ‘old man’.”
Side note: far be it from me to analyze stock footage, but it doesn’t really look like Ntozake Nelson is running all that fast in what we get to see on the TV.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Charlie
Previous instance: The American President
CASEY: Charlie! It’s Dad. Hey, did you finish all your homework? … Good. Now turn on your TV. Turn on to my channel. I want you to watch this. This guy’s name is Ntozake Nelson. I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll tell you all about it, but for now you just watch him run. He’s not doing much, he’s just running faster than any man’s ever run before. I’m gonna be on the air in about 12 minutes, and if Mom says it’s okay, you can watch the beginning of the show, and then I’m gonna give you the special signal and that means you have to turn off your TV and go to sleep. … I love you too, Charlie.
“I’m not crying, you’re crying!”
ISAAC: You okay?
CASEY: Absolutely.
ISAAC: Get to work.
CASEY: Absolutely.
Another musical bit of repetition — and let me just say, Robert Guillaume’s smile could light up the world.
DANA: It’s a 15 second teaser. Dan, you need copy?
DAN: Is the opening Lakers-Sonics?
DANA: Lakers-Sonics, Pistons-Heat —
CASEY: I’ll take it.
DAN: You want it?
CASEY: It’s not that my teasers are better than yours, Danny, it’s that yours are vastly inferior to mine.
That line wasn’t in the pilot script, either! The lean continues.
NEW Non-Verbal Signature: Sit into missing chair
JEREMY: I’m new here, so if I’m in your way, just let me know. (sits without a chair behind him, falls to the ground)
Boy, we really set up his character to be something of a buffoon in this pilot, didn’t we?
RETURNING Verbal Tic: And I’ll tell you why
Running count: 2
CASEY: Wanna do something tonight after the show?
DAN: Yeah, you know, I was gonna ride the Staten Island Ferry for a while, have a hot dog. You wanna come?
CASEY: … Yeah, absolutely, and I’ll tell you why — because it’s 17 degrees outside with the windchill, so what I wanna do is stand on a boat in the middle of New York Harbor past midnight.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Beat the shit out of X
Previous instances: The American President, Malice, A Few Good Men
DAN: You have a better idea?
CASEY: Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don’t like, and beat the crap out of them.
(CASEY and DAN high five)
Dang, if only HBO had picked up this show instead…
NEW Sorkin Name: Rydell
CASEY: I’m Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell. Lakers-Sonics, Pistons-Heat — and guess what? Ntozake Nelson’s got something to say about a world record! Seeing is believing…
DANA: He’s back.
“He goes where you are, honey, you’re where the story is!”foreshadowing detected
CASEY: No one can produce the show but you.
(DANA and CASEY hug; after the hug breaks, DANA wipes her cheek)
DANA: (clears her throat) You… (clears her throat) have nine minutes. Somebody get him a new shirt.
CASEY: What’s wrong with my shirt?
DANA: You got my mascara on your collar. Natalie?
Hello? ABC? You’re going to add a laugh track to the show but not put a laugh on that? Come on!
DANA: Get somebody on the phone, I want to make sure there aren’t going to be any mistakes. I’m nervous about the satellite feed from Buenos Err-es. [sic]
NATALIE: Sure.
DANA: Natalie?
NATALIE: Yeah?
DANA: Argentina.
NATALIE: Right.
DANA: Natalie! Uh… double check that.
What was an exchange between Casey and Elliot in the pilot script changed to Dana and Natalie. That change was presumably made to allow for the following:
CASEY: You know what, here’s something I don’t understand about rugby.
DAN: Oh, you do understand something about rugby?
CASEY: I played rugby, alright? Now, I want to ask you a question —
DAN: Wait, wait — when have you played rugby?
CASEY: When I was in college, I played… co-ed rugby.
DAN: (laughs) You did not play rugby.
CASEY: I did play rugby. Now, I want to ask you a question…
That wasn’t in the pilot script either, and I have to be honest, I’m not 100% sure it was even written. The exchange has a quality to it that suggests it may have been improvised by Peter and Josh, particularly the pause before “co-ed rugby”. We saw something similar with A Few Good Men where some added-in lines were almost certainly improvised, so it’s not necessarily unreasonable to think the same thing happened here. We’ll probably never know one way or the other.
Side note: I see we’ve graduated from basketball shorts to jeans now?
Okay, I have to be honest with you folks: I have mixed feelings about this pilot. The Sorkin cadence is pleasantly present as expected, but at the same time the lean into the half-hour comedy format makes for some moments that feel forced to me. I suppose that should come with a disclaimer that I’ve generally lost patience with the half-hour comedy format as I’ve gotten older. At the same time, though, there’s evidence to suggest Mr. Sorkin may have had similar feelings. Setting aside the correction of the A plot, the changes from pilot script to the episode give me a sense of Mr. Sorkin doing his damnedest to get the show picked up with the intent of executing a bait-and-switch for subsequent episodes. The treatment of Jeremy’s character in particular feels night-and-day with the rest of the series. Once again, though, the Sorkin cadence ensured Mr. Sorkin would be able to get away with that bait-and-switch.
If you liked what you read, you’d do well to hit the subscribe button over the head with a baseball bat so you’ll be more likely to see the next entry in this project. Coming up next: maybe you should apologize to Rosa Parks, my guy…
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