Entry 009 - Sports Night 106 (The Head Coach, Dinner, and the Morning Mail)

SERIES: Sports Night

EPISODE NUMBER: 106

TITLE: The Head Coach, Dinner, and the Morning Mail

PREMIERE: 27 Oct 1998

WRITING CREDITS: Matt Tarses and Aaron Sorkin

DIRECTOR: Thomas Schlamme

If you don’t use an Oxford comma, you’re a psychopath. That’s all I’ll say on the matter.

The laugh track unfortunately does return in full force, but aside from that, this episode is arguably the first episode of the rest of the series, tonally speaking. Once again, however, it’s not entirely consistent, and not just because of the laugh track — and I don’t necessarily think that’s because the episode is co-written. It’s a small enough inconsistency that it can safely be ignored, though, which is simultaneously relieving and annoying — more on that when we get there as we now step through the episode.

DAN: Next up, Steve Denton looks for a new gig, the Hawks defend a streak, and we answer the question, “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

Huh? What possible relevance could that have to a sports news broadcast? Is someone petitioning to have woodchucking added as an Olympic sport or something? Certainly would probably have a better time at it than breaking, but that still seems like a stretch.

DAN: Okay, I don’t think there’s any way I could be colder.

KIM: What if you were wet?

Ayo? Wait…

DAN: I’d be very cold, but as cold as I’d be under that circumstance, I still don’t think there’d be any discernable difference between how cold I’d be then and how cold I am now. That’s how cold I am now.

So you’re saying you’re at absolute zero, Dan? If that’s the case, then you wouldn’t even be able to say that.

NATALIE: It was right here.

JEREMY: Where?

NATALIE: Here!

DANA: It’s cool.

JEREMY: Don’t panic.

NATALIE: I’m not losing my mind, don’t tell me not to panic!

Oh, Jeremy — I’m gonna give you a pass because you’re quite clearly sleep deprived, but you really shouldn’t tell someone “don’t panic” straight-up. That will always just have the opposite of the intended effect.

JEREMY: This is professional television, surely there’s some kind of strict procedure that’s followed when something like this happens.

DANA: Absolutely.

JEREMY: What is it?

DANA: Well, first, everyone stand up and see if you’re sitting on it.

“Shorties first, we all know how you like to overcompensate.”

JEREMY: I’ll help her look.

DANA: Ah! Don’t worry about it.

JEREMY: Dana —

DANA: Jeremy, she’s not gonna find it.

You know she can still hear you at that point, right?

NEW Dialogue Motif: X… X+1 problems

DAN: So I have a complaint — two complaints, actually.

CASEY: You’re cold.

DAN: Three complaints.

CASEY: What are the first two?

DAN: I haven’t put these in any order.

CASEY: Okay.

DAN: I haven’t numbered them, I’m not conversationally anal-retentive the way you are.

CASEY: I’m conversationally anal-retentive?

DAN: Yes, indeed.

Do you suppose Mr. Sorkin threw that in as a self-deprecating reference? I already pointed out the conversationally anal-retentive tendencies of President Shepherd in The American President, so there’s certainly precedent for people thinking the same of Mr. Sorkin as a result.

CASEY: Dan, he made a bonehead move on fourth down with the game on the line. It’s not the first time he’s made a bonehead move. I’m a commentator, I’m a pundit, I am doing my job.

DAN: You’re a pundit?

CASEY: I’m a pundit.

“You keep using that word — I do not think it means what you think it means.”

DAN: The sound effects.

CASEY: Oh, again with the sound effects.

DAN: All through the Rostenkowski piece — “clank, wanh wah” — what’s with that?

CASEY: I am bringing my point into stark relief.

DAN: With Casio keyboard sound effects.

“I’ll have you know, Dan, I only use the finest Yamahas.”

NATALIE: I can’t find it.

DANA: That’s okay.

NATALIE: I’m sorry.

DANA: It’s not a problem.

NATALIE: It is a problem, Dana, this isn’t something —

DANA: Natalie, it’s not a problem. We’ve got promos we can use to fill.

I once again get the feeling I don’t actually know what that means, as good as it sounds. Surely weighing down the show with promotional inserts wouldn’t be all that good for audience retention? “Who cares? Let’s see some scores!”^{callback detected}

CASEY: Hey, Dana? Danny has some complaints.

DAN: Three complaints.

CASEY: In no particular order.

DAN: Wanna hear ‘em?

DANA: Danny, you look like Elmer Fudd.

DAN: … Okay, four complaints.

Hey, man, don’t knock Elmer Fudd’s elevated sense of style! Have you seen “What’s Opera, Doc”?

NATALIE: Dan, I spoke to building maintenance about the air conditioning, they’re sending someone out.

DAN: The air conditioning?

NATALIE: Yeah.

DAN: That’s good, um, but the problem I’m having in the studio is with the heat.

Oh, come on! When did we as a society decide to place such a hard line between “air conditioning” and “heating”? Heating is just another form of conditioning the air, is it not? Why did we have to make “air conditioning” a synonym for “cooling”? (sigh)

DAN: You wanna sit down for a sec, shoot the breeze?

NATALIE: I can’t shoot the breeze right now, Dan, I have to do my job — or do you think it’s just safer for everybody if I don’t do anything?

DAN: No, I was just —

NATALIE: My two anchors are going to die of hypothermia on the air, but that’s okay, no problem, because Natalie’s a little distracted! I am not distracted, guys, I can do my job.

He was just asking if you wanted to talk, Natalie — no need to overheat like that.

CASEY: Why are you looking at a dictionary?

DAN: I don’t think pundit means what you think it means.

Hey, that’s what I said!

CASEY: Excuse me, but wasn’t I sitting next to you for two weeks when you said that Latrell Spreewell shouldn’t be allowed to play professional basketball again?

DAN: Look, I know it’s your alma mater and I know you take that seriously, and I think that’s great… but Rostenkowski blew a fourth down call in a college football game, Latrell Spreewell tried to strangle his coach. Is this one of those days when you have a hard time making the distinction?

So much for this series taking the No Celebrities Were Harmed approach — unlike basically every other name in sports we’ve heard so far, Latrell Spreewell is the name to an actual athlete. The man in question was a player on the Golden State Warriors when in December 1997 he assaulted his coach by first attempting to choke him then straight up punching him, taking the time to take a shower in between (no, seriously). Initially only suspended for ten games, the suspension was later expanded to the remainder of the season, which amounted to a 68-game suspension. At the time of this episode the NBA was actually in the middle of a lockout, but by the time that NBA season started in February 1999 Spreewell had been traded to the New York Knicks and would play basketball for seven more seasons — so Dan would unfortunately not get his wish here.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Who do I see about that

CASEY: Do you know how many times we’ve beaten Miami?

DAN: You’ve never beaten Miami.

CASEY: We’ve never beaten Miami. Now who am I supposed to see about that?

NEW Plot Bunny: Therapy slag

DAN: A therapist?

Be careful with that joke, Dan.^{foreshadowing detected}

Also, I suppose it should be worth mentioning we never actually hear the name of Casey’s alma mater, just that the football team for this college lost a game on a fourth down call. I have to wonder if that was a deliberate choice or simply an oversight — we’ll be hearing the name of Dan’s alma mater in a later episode, so never hearing the name of Casey’s alma mater is a little strange.

DANA: You shouldn’t be reading Natalie’s email.

JEREMY: It’s the only way I can make sure that Natalie doesn’t read Natalie’s email.

This was before the days of automatic filters, I suppose? These days, you could just set a filter to have harassment and death threats automatically deleted. Certainly would be more efficient than the manual screening of emails Jeremy is implied to be doing.

DANA: I’m surprised she gave you her password, she won’t even give it to me.

JEREMY: She didn’t give it to me, I figured it out.

DANA: You figured it out?

JEREMY: Sure.

DANA: You figured out her password?

JEREMY: I thought, you know, how many six letter words can there be?

DANA: Um… five thousand?

JEREMY: Fourteen thousand two hundred and change, but I got it on the 38th try.

Okay, hold on, let’s see if we can reverse-engineer how Jeremy arrived at that number:

x^6 = 14200
x = 14200^(1/6)
x ≈ 4.92

… Jeremy, you are very much sleep deprived. There are more than five letters on your standard keyboard. Let’s see if we can come up with a figure closer to reality.

Given that the email system they use is apparently lax enough to allow passwords that are only six characters long (shame on you, Natalie), it’s probably reasonable to assume that the system only allows alphanumeric characters as well. Depending on whether the password system is case-sensitive, we would get one of two numbers:

(26+10)^6 = 2,176,782,336
(26+26+10)^6 = 56,800,235,584

Yeah, 56.8 billion seems more in the ballpark to me.

… Although, now that I say that, Jeremy specifically said six letter words, not six letter passwords, which implies he expected Natalie to use an English word for her password (further shame on you, Natalie). If we go off that, then we’re actually looking at a number surpassing 23,000 depending on the exact source you use, which is still a ways off from Jeremy’s estimate. Even the Scrabble dictionary boasts north of 16,000 six-letter words, so I’m really at a loss as to where Jeremy’s number comes from.

Also, what the fuck is their password system doing not locking Natalie’s account after five or so failed attempts instead of letting Jeremy in after 37 failed attempts? Man, password security was so bad back then…

NEW Dialogue Motif: Misspelling sarcasm

JEREMY: (reading) “You should never have been in that locker room where men have just played the game of football. You deserve what Christian Patrick gave you and more, and now a great football player with a passion and love for the game” — ‘passion’, with the less common S-H spelling — “has come under a cloud of speculation that’s only serving to distract a team from its quest to win the Super Bowl. I hope you get killed.”

You know, misspelling aside, for a death threat that was actually quite eloquent. It’s certainly more grammatically rich that some other letters we’ll be hearing later…

DANA: We shouldn’t worry, right? A reporter goes into a locker room, has a run-in with an athlete, the reporter becomes the story — that happens, right?

ISAAC: In my experience? About twice a year over the last 40 years.

DANA: Right… so why does this feel different?

ISAAC: Because it’s happening to us.

“We saw a lyn—” wait, wrong work.^{foreshadowing detected}

CASEY: (reading) “Dear Casey McCall, lately I think you and me are the only ones who know anything about football. Rostenkowski should be run out of town on a rail, and you’re just the man to do it.”

Ahem — I think you mean “you and I”?

CASEY: (reading) “Casey, Rostenkowski is a fraud, a bum, and a doddering old man. Me and my friends are totally with you, keep up the good work.”

Ahem — I think you mean “my friends and I”?

CASEY: (reading) “You’re my favorite sports anchor ever. I never used to like sports, but you’ve so got me into it — maybe because you’re totally hot. Look me up — Tracy Deveroux, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.”

… Well, at least her grammar is on point.

KIM: You just made that up.

CASEY: What’s that say?

KIM: It’s addressed to Dan.

Oh, that’s why.

DANA: Listen, do me a favor, double check any items you’re getting in from Natalie. If anything’s wrong, fix it yourself. The distractions are starting to get to her.

Oh, yeah, going behind her back to have someone else clean up after her — that’s the act of a true friend right there.^{sarcasm detected}

CASEY: Oh, yeah, she’s been screwing up pretty good lately.

DANA: Yeah, not like when you were going through the divorce.

CASEY: I did my job with aplomb.

DANA: I remember some days you could barely find the building.

CASEY: Well, that’s true.

To be fair to Casey, there seems to be some disagreement within the Sports Night fandom on where exactly the studio is — but that’s for another entry.

CASEY: You look nice today.

DANA: Good.

CASEY: Uh uh uh uh, no no no — I said you look nice, that’s your cue to say ‘thank you’.

DANA: Thank you.

CASEY: Why do you look nice?

DANA: Because I am nice.

CASEY: You can say it, Dana.

DANA: I don’t want to say it.

CASEY: You do want to say it.

DANA: I don’t want to say it and you don’t want me to say it.

CASEY: I do want you to say it and then I want you to see how much I don’t care when you do.

“Say it, say it, say it!”^{foreshadowing detected}

DANA: I am dressed this way because I’m having dinner with Gordon after the show. I’m having dinner with Gordon and I’m dressed this way because it’s been my experience that when I do, Gordon becomes quite amorous, and it’s my hope that Gordon act on his impulses this evening, quench his desire, and in so doing (sighs) quench mine.

“Ayo, TMI, sister!”

CASEY: That’s all I wanted.

DANA: Good.

CASEY: There is no reason for you to be secretive.

Hey, are we finally getting the “Casey acts like an adult” arc going?

CASEY: Kim.

KIM: Yep.

CASEY: Make a note — I need to ruin Dana’s dinner with Gordon.

Damnit.

NEW Topical Signature: Don Quixote

DANA: Don Quixote was a hero of my father’s, and my father would like you. You’re a very quixotic character.

Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who gets annoyed when someone pronounces the word “quixotic” with the U sound that’s not present in the man’s name.

DANA: You like Natalie, don’t you?

JEREMY: Me?

DANA: Yes.

JEREMY: Of course I like her.

DANA: No, that’s not what I mean, Jeremy, I mean, you like Natalie, don’t you?

“You’re suggesting a romantic interest in the vernacular of a prepubescent child.”

DANA: I’ll let you in on a secret — I think Natalie likes you as well.

Oh, like that was ever a secret…

JEREMY: I’ve been getting that feeling.

DANA: Good.

JEREMY: I’ve had this sense, it’s a faint, subtle thing —

DANA: She’s been throwing herself at you.

JEREMY: See, I didn’t get that.

Some men really do have to be hit over the head, don’t they?^{foreshadowing detected}

DANA: You know what I think you should do?

JEREMY: What?

DANA: Nothing.

JEREMY: Nothing?

DANA: Nothing.

Oh, no — is this some sort of neutral jing B.S. we’re about to get?

DANA: Natalie’s life has been turned upside down, she doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going, people harass her and take her pictures [sic], the reporters calling, the mail — she’s frightened and confused, and I know you’re frightened too, or you wouldn’t be staying up all night plugging six letter words into a computer.

JEREMY: I’m not a big man, Dana — I can’t beat people up and I don’t carry a gun. I’m a research analyst with a degree in applied mathmatics.

Well, that degree kinda failed you earlier, my guy.

JEREMY: This is what I do.

DANA: And that’s cool, but that’s not what she needs.

JEREMY: What does she need?

DANA: A quiet dinner — just a quiet dinner in a safe place with someone she likes.

JEREMY: Who?

DANA: Jeremy —

JEREMY: Me, right!

We finally see here Dana approaching being a true friend for Natalie — it’s a better late than never situation, but Dana has managed to get in tune with what Natalie needs and is looking to have that enacted. It comes with a mindset shift that’s verbalized in the following couplet:

JEREMY: These letters aren’t going to stop coming just because I take her out to dinner.

DANA: I know.

Those two simple words — “I know” — represent a mindset shift for both of the characters in this conversation. For Dana, it belies her realizing that her strategy so far of simply covering for Natalie’s mental slippage will only be sustainable for so long and that she should be looking for means of counteracting instead. For Jeremy, the mindset shift required is to get out of the habit of attempting to control the uncontrollable and instead look for means to make that which can’t be controlled irrelevant. Thankfully for Dana, Jeremy is able to get the point quickly, even in his sleep-deprived state — though it does happen in a rather roundabout way, as we’ll see later.

RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Don’t need to be here

^{Previous instance: The American President}

DAN: I told him he was conversationally anal-retentive.

DANA: Yeah, you are.

CASEY: I am not.

DANA: You are too.

DAN: You guys need me for this fight?

Like they’ve ever needed the help…

CASEY: How am I conversationally anal-retentive?

DANA: Let me answer that question in four parts, with the fourth part first and the third part last. The second part has five subparts —

CASEY: Alright, alright, alright…

Man, come on! At least defend yourself against the implication you divide into subparts!

NEW Non-Verbal Signature: Explosion imitation

CASEY: You made the sound for them and they didn’t have it?

DANA: That’s right.

…

CASEY: (imitates tire-squealing and explosion noise) That sound?

DANA: Yes.

CASEY: Really.

DANA: Yes.

CASEY: Make the sound that you made.

DANA: Casey, I made the sound.

CASEY: Make it.

DANA: Irrr, ksss.

No appreciation for the sound arts, man…

CASEY: Chris, Will — be with me now. (imitates tire-squealing and explosion noise)

WILL: Crash and burn.

CASEY: Can you do it?

CHRIS: Got it.

(DANA gasps)

You know… now that I think about it, I have to wonder if Dana deliberately tried to sabotage Casey’s sound effect request. It becomes implied later that she’s been aiming to have him lay off Rostenkowski — but more on that when we get there.

DAN: Listen to me, seriously, you’ve gotta get some sleep. I once stayed up 72 hours straight studying for a biochem midterm, you know what happened next?

JEREMY: No.

DAN: Me neither, man, ‘cause I passed out in my girlfriend’s dorm room, I didn’t wake up until, like, graduation.

JEREMY: How’d you do on the midterm?

DAN: I aced it, but that’s not the point.

Oh, you were one of those students, eh? (Disclaimer: I got a 4.0 on my undergrad.)

JEREMY: I want to take Natalie to dinner and I want to do it right. I wrote some software that helps me factor in menu, ambiance, location — any number of elements that can be translated into binomial functions. It’s based on the fourth generation of L7 software that runs with the old Omni applications. It doesn’t allow for trends and it’s not as fast as I’d like it to be, but it’s —

DAN: Hang on, hang on, hang on, time out — let me just get this straight here, I’m sorry. You designed some software?

JEREMY: It’s just an application.

The abuse of mathematics continues, I see — first of all, Jeremy, your specification of ‘binomial functions’ implies reduction to equations of two terms, even though you listed three variables as examples. I think you meant to say ‘a polynomial equation’? Also, I applaud the effort, Jeremy, but there’s absolutely no way you’ll be able to determine the constant weights to each term of that equation objectively, especially in your sleep deprived state. Someone with an applied mathematics degree should surely know when to stop applying.

JEREMY: You know what she likes and you know all the hot places in the city!

Hold up — Dan knows what Natalie likes? Is this the kind of shit those damnable shippers latch onto?

DAN: Make it some place that you like. Restaurants — they don’t impress women as much as we think they do, and food always tastes good on a first date. You’re not in Vegas, and you’re not in L.A. You are in the most magnificent city in the world. It’s the city of Gershwin and Cole Porter, Damon Runyon and Fiorello LaGuardia. Surprise her, but make her feel comfortable; make it different, but make her feel at home; but mostly, make it some place that you like.

Hey, are we getting a return of the New York renaissance? I can dig it.

JEREMY: Where is that restaurant?

DAN: I’ll let you know when I find it.

Wait, what? Now Dan is claiming to know Jeremy’s tastes as well? I don’t think those shippers noticed that…

GORDON: Wow, boy, this place really hops at showtime, huh? It’s like a real television show.

CASEY: Yeah, we got cameras and everything.

(beep) Sarcasm Self Test complete! (beep)

DANA: You don’t have to talk to Casey if you don’t want to, and if he says anything you don’t like, you should feel free to take a swing at him.

GORDON: (chuckles) Feisty girl.

CASEY: Yeah, she’s a pip.

I’m sorry, she’s a what now? Hold on, dictionary time again: “(US English informal) an excellent or very attractive person or thing”.

Hmm… ready to take a swing, Gordon?

GORDON: I gotta tell you, when she wears that outfit —

CASEY: I heard!

Alright, now you’re ready to take a swing, right?

GORDON: Oh, by the way, for what it’s worth — I’m right with you on this Rostenkowski thing.

I guess not.

GORDON: I don’t know how he makes that call.

CASEY: Yeah.

GORDON: Any idiot knows you hand it to Jermaine, you send him up the middle.

CASEY: Ye— well, you’re not going to go up the middle against an eight-man front, but still…

GORDON: Oh, still, maybe you run a play-action fake, you toss off the tight end on the flat.

CASEY: The problem with that is that without establishing your running game first no one’s gonna bite down on the play fake.

GORDON: Oh, but still…

CASEY: Still.

GORDON: A post pattern, a slant —

CASEY: He’d be going against a defensive back who was second team All-American as a true freshman.

GORDON: What would you have called?

CASEY: Me?

GORDON: Yeah.

CASEY: (sighs) The thing is, I haven’t watched film all week, I haven’t seen scouting reports, I don’t have an offensive coordinator talking in my ear, I don’t have 80,000 fans screaming in my face, so it’s easy for me. I don’t have 10 million people watching at home on TV, including a pack of rabid alumni. I’ve had three days to think about it, he had seven seconds — so it’s a lot easier for me to make that decision than it was for him. But since you asked me what play I’d have called, I’ll tell you — now that I think about it, I have no idea.

I’m watching back this conversation, and I gotta say, I’m actually wondering if Dana specifically set up Gordon to talk some Socratic sense into Casey. Gordon keeps this knowing smile on the entire time they talk that doesn’t fade at all even when Casey admits his lack of good ideas. It’s almost as if Dana told Gordon what to say and what to expect from Casey in return — which, in retrospect, probably contributed to some lingering thoughts in Gordon’s head that we’ll see in a much later episode.

Whether or not it was intentional, though, it had the intended effect:

CASEY: Can you put in an alternate 44 and stretch the NBA roll after the second C-break?

DANA: I think so, why?

CASEY: I’m blowing off the Rostenkowski thing.

(CHRIS and WILL look heartbroken; DANA smirks)

“I am the Puppetmaster.”^{foreshadowing detected}

CASEY: I’m blowing off the Rostenkowski piece.

DAN: Attaboy.

CASEY: I gave in.

DAN: Yes.

CASEY: I saw the light.

DAN: Good.

CASEY: I rose above myself and I did it for the following three reasons.

No way you actually have three reasons on hand in that short a time, shut up.

DAN: You know, here at Sports Night we get a lot of mail, and most of it goes something like this — “Casey, Dan, you two obviously know a lot about sports. But what can you tell us about legendary Italian song stylist Tony Orlando?” Well…

SFX: You Should Know!

DAN: You should know that Tony Orlando is not Italian — and if you guessed that the man was of Latin descent, you’d be incorrect as well. Mr. Tony Orlando hails from Greece. We thought you should know that.

Well, strictly speaking, Dan, Tony Orlando was born in New York — his father was Greek, the man himself has never lived in Greece. Also, his mother was Puerto Rican, so it would be incorrect to say he’s not of Latin descent as well. Carol McKechnie was on vacation this week, I guess?

CASEY: That just about does it for tonight’s show. It’s a holiday weekend, so if you’re driving out to the stadium tomorrow, please, please remember to take your car.

what

DAN: (laughing) The hell was that?

No kidding!

CASEY: Is Tony Orlando Greek?

DAN: How the hell do I know?

Oh, so the inaccuracy was on purpose, then? My apologies, Ms. McKechnie.

CASEY: Well, I can’t deny that Natalie’s making things interesting around here.

Dude?! You have the sensitivity of a brick!

DANA: Not a word to Natalie.

NATALIE: (stomping in) Alright! That’s enough, you guys are still miked, for crying out loud, I can hear every word you’re saying!

Well, a few episodes ago we established the second wasn’t necessary a given when the first is true…

NATALIE: Why aren’t you laughing at me? Why aren’t you mad at me? Dan, you just had to ad-lib a thirty second segment in the freezing cold and god knows what graphic I put on the screen. Look, all I want is to get it right, and when I don’t, I expect to be treated like a professional. I expect to be yelled at. I want to be treated like the show is still important, I want to be treated like my job is still important!

“Fucking yell at me already!!”

NATALIE: Why won’t anybody yell at me?

DANA: ‘Cause we like you! ‘Cause you’re one of us, ‘cause you’re always there anytime one of us is in trouble.

CASEY: Like me.

DAN: Like me.

DANA: Like them.

CASEY/DAN: And you!

DANA: When have I — uh… it doesn’t matter.

Dana’s implied denial aside, this moment is a wonderful throw-in of everyone’s absolute willingness to throw themselves behind each other when circumstances call for it. The method behind the madness, though, could of course use some work:

DANA: The point is, when someone’s feeling helpless, about the nicest gift you can give is to let them help you. It’s the gift of receiving as opposed to giving, and that’s a gift that you’re in a position to give right now. Does that make sense?

CASEY: I couldn’t follow you.

Really wasn’t that hard to follow, Case — though, now that I think about, I suppose one could argue this is some screwy foreshadowing for a future episode…

DANA: Oh, Natalie, don’t go home mad!

NATALIE: I’m not mad. (throws videotape at computer monitor)

All evidence to the contrary…

(everyone arrives to Jeremy having fallen asleep on a blanket with a dinner setup on the floor)

DAN: Hmm — he found it.

Damn, this line from Dan actually has some layers to it. Turning our attention to what he said earlier:

DAN: Surprise her, but make her feel comfortable; make it different, but make her feel at home; but mostly, make it some place that you like.

• Surprise her? Check! Natalie’s face says it all.
• Make her feel comfortable? Jury’s a little out on that one, to be honest, but at the very least it appears Jeremy tried in that regard.
• Something different? Check! I don’t think we need to elaborate there.
• Make her feel at home? Check! Natalie has certainly made it clear that she feels more at home at Sports Night than any place else.
• Make it some place Jeremy likes? Big ol’ check! Jeremy has quite literally worshipped this place since its inception.

My word, did Jeremy indeed find it…

NATALIE: Is this for me?

JEREMY: Yeah.

NATALIE: And this was meant to be some kind of charity?

JEREMY: No, not charity — I just wanted to do something.

NATALIE: Why?

JEREMY: I like you.

Prepubescent vernacular aside, we see a decently sized step forward here for Jeremy - he’s taken what Dana told him to heart and truly made something of it, and it’s clear Natalie appreciates it from her reaction. Now we just need the same from Dana:

NEW Dialogue Motif: The “Stop Screwing Up” Speech™

DANA: Natalie?

NATALIE: Yeah?

DANA: You’ve been screwing up all week and it’s gotta stop. Get your act together and do it fast. Got it?

NATALIE: Yes, ma’am.

DANA: Good.

NATALIE: Thanks.

(chef’s kiss) Welcome to being a true friend to Natalie, Dana — I’m sure Dan has a t-shirt in your size available.

Alright, dare I say it? I think I do dare: this episode is unequivocally good, the second episode of Sports Night for which I dare saying that. This episode presents a well-crafted character study in how those in Natalie’s circle of friends, particularly Dana and Jeremy, behave in the wake of Natalie’s woes, and how Natalie reacts to those behaviors. Dan also once again gets his moments of being presented as the truest friend to Natalie, but this time Dana actually catches up for once, which makes for a refreshing change of pace in that regard. It’s also good to see Jeremy’s development continue with his figuring out how to get into the game — and we’ll certainly see that continue next episode as well. Casey’s moment of pettiness is indeed irritating, but that thread ultimately gets dropped like a hot rock, so we can mentally brush it aside easily enough.

If by some Aristotelian confluence of events you haven’t done so yet, that subscribe button is waiting for you to hit it so you will know near-immediately when the next entry is ready to read. Coming up next: we catch the epistolary bug.