Entry 016 - Sports Night 113 (Small Town)

SERIES: Sports Night

EPISODE NUMBER: 113

TITLE: Small Town

PREMIERE: 12 Jan 1999

WRITING CREDITS: Paul Redford and Aaron Sorkin

DIRECTOR: Thomas Schlamme

DRAFT SCRIPT: HTML

Welcome to the episode of Sports Night people like so much, it has its own Wikipedia page!

Okay, in all seriousness, the episode likely has its own Wikipedia page because of its Primetime Emmy win for Outstanding Picture Editing in a multi-camera series — which is weird, considering the episode is shot in a single-camera manner, but I won’t dwell on that. We are, after all, tasked with scrutinizing the writing of each episode, so that award discrepancy is not a concern of ours.

Once again, we have a “final draft” script that received cuts after-the-fact, though neither of the major cuts are anything we will miss, I assure you. It is, unfortunately for me, a largely Dana-heavy episode that does further disservice to the woman’s character — which gets compounded by another woman’s getting characterized questionably as well. Nonetheless, there is still some good to come of this episode — how the two balance out I’ll have to evaluate later, though, as we now step through the episode.

DANA: Dan, fill for fifteen seconds.

DAN: Our producer, Dana Whitaker, is asking me to fill for fifteen seconds, but I honestly don’t have anything to say.

DANA: Dan.

DAN: She’s begging me now.

DANA: Dan.

DAN: Now she seems pretty mad.

DANA: Dan.

DAN: You’d all like her a lot if you met her.

DANA: You’re a funny boy, Daniel.

DAN: And that was fifteen seconds. Casey?

Dan’s riffing here is basically the Sports Night equivalent of Bob Ross’s throwing in a big tree two minutes before the end of a show. “It drives my director crazy.”

RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing

^{Running count: 5}

CASEY: Here’s the thing.

DAN: Yes.

CASEY: I don’t have to take tomorrow night off.

DAN: Yes, you do.

CASEY: I’m saying I could do the show with you tomorrow night.

DAN: And I’m saying when your night off comes up in the rotation, you take the night off.

CASEY: Yes, but I’m saying that I’m willing to waive that tradition and not take the night off.

Another person married to their job, it seems?

DAN: No, what you were saying was that you’re a big wuss who wants to get out of his date tomorrow night.

Oh.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Can we be men

CASEY: Look, can we be men for a second?

DAN: Alright, but just a second.

“I’ve been running low on my T doses anyway.”

NEW Verbal Tic: No kidding/shit

CASEY: I really don’t want to go.

DAN: No kidding.

CASEY: I really don’t want to go out on a date, and there’s no question that there’s a way to look at this thing that makes it appear a lot like a date.

DAN: Yes.

CASEY: Plus it’s a double-date, and it’s a blind date, on top of which, let’s not forget, it’s a date, so there’s about three different ways this thing is bad.

“Did I mention it’s a date?”

DANA: I’m just saying, I don’t have to take the night off.

ISAAC: Tomorrow?

DANA: Yes.

ISAAC: It’s your night off.

DANA: It is my night off, but I don’t have to take the night off.

ISAAC: But then it wouldn’t be your night off.

DANA: And I’m saying I’m okay with that.

You know, that seems like bad scheduling to have both the executive producer and one of the anchors of a live show have the same night off. Surely the PTO calendar would have been built to be more staggered?

ISAAC: I thought you had plans with Gordon.

DANA: I did.

ISAAC: You don’t anymore?

DANA: No, but now Gordon fixed Casey up with a woman from his office and it’s the four of us.

Oh, so it’s a contrivance, then. Alrighty.

DANA: I would’ve had a wonderful time sitting with Gordon watching the Holly Dixon Dance Company and then having some dinner, but I don’t think I’ll have a good time doing the same thing with Gordon, Casey, and blind-date lawyer woman.

ISAAC: Does she like modern dance?

DANA: Who cares, Isaac?

ISAAC: Certainly not me.

Preach it.

DANA: The point is, I can work tomorrow night if you want.

ISAAC: No, the point is you don’t want to see Casey out with another woman.

What the fuck, Isaac?!

DANA: … I can’t believe that you, of all people, have joined those who believe I have anything but a friendly interest in Casey. I can’t believe it.

Me neither! Isaac definitely doesn’t seem like the type to me to take gossip like that seriously, so that accusation is really out of place.

CASEY: Look, Natalie’s running the room for the first time. If there’s breaking news, I should be there.

ISAAC: To do what?

CASEY: The things I do.

Stunning specificity, man.

DANA: Casey’s right.

CASEY: I am?

DANA: Yes, except I should be the one to stay because of the trade deadline, and because Casey won’t be here.

CASEY: I will be here.

DANA: You don’t have to be here, I can be here.

ISAAC: Any chance I can not be here?

Be careful what you wish for, Isaac.

DANA: You seem awfully eager to bail on your date.

CASEY: It’s not a date.

DANA: It is a date, and it seems to me your reason for wanting to work tomorrow night has a lot to do with not wanting to see Gordon and me on a date.

CASEY: It seems to me the reason you’re practically tackling Isaac to the ground is that you don’t want to see me on a date with anyone who isn’t you.

Children, please — perhaps we can come to a compromise. Maybe the reason both of you don’t want to go on this double-date is because you anticipate and dread your trading these petty accusations with each other the entire night?

DANA: … Don’t think I don’t know your M.O.

CASEY: I don’t have an M.O.

DANA: Yes, you do.

CASEY: My M.O. is to experience lively conversation, fine dining, and some of the best interpretive dancing money can buy.

DANA: No, you think at a certain point during the evening you’ll say something wonderful to me and I’ll melt and that’ll teach me for going out with Gordon instead of you.

CASEY: I’ll settle for you [sic] spilling something on yourself.

Yo, Isaac, wait up, let me join you!

JEREMY: I really thought they were gonna make the trade.

NATALIE: And I was pretty certain they weren’t.

JEREMY: I know.

NATALIE: In fact, I’m pretty sure I bet you five dollars they weren’t gonna make the trade.

Once again, I’m in a position where I’m questioning the presence of sports betting inside of a sports news organization — and this instance even comes after Gordon’s facetiously threatening Casey with an IRS audit over a betting pool. You would think the practice would be discouraged to prevent potential conflicts of interest, and yet…

NATALIE: I’m gonna want a crisp five dollar bill, not some raggedy-ass thing from the newsstand.

You want him to rob a bank while you’re at it?

NATALIE: Let’s bump Oksana Baiul.

DAN: Oksana Baiul?

NATALIE: Lose it.

DAN: The Ukrainian Jewel, Oksana Baiul?

NATALIE: Yes.

DAN: You can’t bump Oksana Baiul.

NATALIE: And yet, look how I just did.

I don’t know, Nat, bumping a figure skater seems dangerous to me.

NATALIE: How can I help you?

DAN: First, let me say this is an exciting night for you.

NATALIE: Yes.

DAN: We’re all very excited for you.

NATALIE: Thanks.

DAN: ‘Cause it’s exciting.

NATALIE: What do you need, Dan?

Yep, Dan kinda telegraphed he’s angling for something, didn’t he?

DAN: … This is your first time stepping in for Dana…

Wait, really? The show’s been on the air for over two years and Dana has never had a night off until now? Or has Natalie perhaps not been here since the beginning? Somehow, I’m not inclined to believe the latter…

DAN: … I would never second-guess you, and I would certainly never question your choice of substitute anchor.

NATALIE: So what’s on your mind?

DAN: I question your choice of substitute anchor.

Are you counting this as a third-guessing, Dan?

NEW Sorkin Name: Bobbi/Bobby

NATALIE: Bobbi’s fine.

DAN: She’s better than fine.

NATALIE: She’s very good.

DAN: She’s very, very good.

NATALIE: So what’s the problem?

DAN: There is no problem.

X

DAN: I’m not spreading ill will here, that should be clear. I’m not dropping a dime on anybody. Where I come from, you don’t say things about people.

NATALIE: You come from Connecticut.

DAN: That’s right.

NATALIE: You don’t say things about people in Connecticut?

DAN: We do not.

“That ain’t the Whaler Way.”

DAN: She’s convinced we slept together once and I never called her.

NATALIE: Did you?

DAN: Did I sleep with her?

NATALIE: Did you call her?

DAN: I didn’t sleep with her.

(sigh) Here we go.

Natalie’s the first to do it, and though it’s certainly the least pronounced instance of it, it still feels contrived to have everyone around Dan ostensibly assume he slept with the woman and skip straight to dinging him on the calling part. It’s not entirely clear to me if the people who parrot the gag are simply joking about it, but if so that’s a rather rancid thing to joke about, in my opinion — and if not, that really seems like a bad read on his character on their part (future revelations notwithstanding).

NATALIE: Why does she think you did?

DAN: It’s hard to say, but it could have a lot to do with the fact that she’s psychotic.

Now, now, Dan — “psychotic” is a clinical term. How much training as a psychiatric diagnostician did you get at Dartmouth?^{foreshadowing detected}

NEW Sorkin Player: Brett Barrett

^{Character: waiter}

WAITER: I’ll get some menus.

GORDON: Thanks.

CASEY: So I was telling Gordon that it’s funny that your name is Lisa, because my ex-wife’s name was Lisa. In fact, it still is. I was married to a woman named Lisa for a little over ten years — but now I’m not anymore.

LEESA: My name’s “Leeza”.

CASEY: “Leeza”?

LEESA: Yes.

CASEY: With a Z?

LEESA: Spelled with an S.

CASEY: But pronounced with a Z.

LEESA: Yes.

The draft script spells her name as Leesa, but it’s entirely possible the woman could have still spelled it Lisa — in Italian diction, an intervocalic S is pronounced as a voiced S (which is to say like a Z), and the woman casted for this role is partially of Italian descent so it’s not a stretch to say that rule would apply here.

GORDON: (lifting his glass) Well, it is sure nice being out like this, huh? Cheers.

OTHERS: Cheers.

Hold up — Casey, why the heck are you drinking from a beer bottle when everyone else has a glass? How white-trash are you?

NEW Dialogue Motif: “I Love Lucy” shout-out

CASEY: So, the name of this restaurant is Tony Anthony’s… Anthony Anthony. (beat) In Cuba, Ricky Ricardo would’ve been Ricardo Ricardo — and Lucy would have been pronounced Loozy.

Nope — the intervocalic S rule only applies to Italian, not Spanish, and it only applies to S, not C. … Okay, I’ll shut up.

DANA: You gonna let him talk to me like this?

GORDON: It would’ve been Ricardo Ricardo.

Hmm… I’m all for Gordon’s yanking Dana’s chain here, but at the same time his assent to Casey’s off-the-wall line of thought arguably seems a little questionable. Last we saw it, the relationship between Gordon and Casey (certain script production notes notwithstanding) ended on a note of Gordon’s threatening Casey with an IRS audit. Gordon is clearly aware in some capacity of the tension between Casey and Dana, but his strategy on the matter seems to be to play along, let it play out, and see what happens. Bold strategy, Cotton…

(CASEY’s phone rings)

CASEY: Oh, that’s me.

DANA: Is it Natalie? If it’s Natalie let me speak to her right away. If it’s anyone from the show, let me speak to them. Is it — is it Natalie?

CASEY: I think I have to answer the phone before I can say for sure.

Damn, way to date yourself, episode — these were still the days before caller ID, it appears.

DANA: Gimme the phone.

CASEY: Ah, ah, ah, ah — somebody forgot the magic word.

DANA: Please — would you please give me the phone?

CASEY: No.

Yeah, stick to her, Casey!

GORDON: You need to let the show go once in a while.

DANA: Yes, I do.

GORDON: You know I’m right.

DANA: (chuckles) You are right.

GORDON: Okay, so let’s just have a good time, huh?

DANA: Let’s do — but first, how about you gimme the damn phone.

Good god, it’s like she’s not even trying — “something a little less than brilliance” outside the office, indeed…

DAN: I don’t know, man — she’s got the crazy eyes.

CASEY: Well, you shoulda called her.

Bandwagon entry number two: Casey joins in with Natalie on automatically assuming Dan slept with Bobbi. It makes even less sense to me coming from Casey, even if it’s meant as teasing, as he should know how serious and distressing the subject is for Dan.

DAN: How’s Lisa?

CASEY: Eh, I’m having some trouble pronouncing her name.

DAN: Lisa?

CASEY: It’s “Leeza”.

DAN: With a Z?

CASEY: No.

DAN: I don’t understand.

CASEY: Yeah, me neither.

Really?! Come on! You’re both men versed in languages, you should know right away Casey’s been paired up with a woman of Italian heritage!

CASEY: Hey, you know who looks good tonight? Dana.

First cut from the “final draft” script: before this line, Casey is approached by a redhead who asks him to sign a cocktail napkin for her boyfriend (“I’m so sorry to be uncool…”). I honestly don’t miss the cut, especially considering the insert would be repurposed in a later episode with a more meaningful context.

RETURNING Verbal Tic: Almost hard to believe

^{Running count: 2}

DANA: Please understand, it’s not that I don’t think Natalie isn’t capable. She’s extremely capable. Her capability really can’t be questioned. But Natalie’s young and she’s from a very small town in Ohio — a very small town. There were 32 people in her high school class. Her town was so small it’s almost hard to believe that she’s kept me on hold this long.

You know exactly why she’s put you on hold, don’t act like you don’t.

RETURNING Verbal Tic: You bet

^{Running count: 2}

DANA: She wants to talk to you.

CASEY: (takes the phone) Hey, Nat.

NATALIE: Keep her off the phone.

CASEY: You bet. (hangs up)

+1 to Natalie on my scorecard for that one — you go, sister.

NEW Verbal Tic: Eat ‘em up

CASEY: What time do you have?

LEESA: It’s about —

CASEY: I mean the exact time, don’t gimme about.

GORDON: It’s eleven o’clock.

CASEY: Eat ‘em up, Danny!

RETURNING Verbal Tic: How ya doin’

^{Running count: 6}

(CASEY turns back to LEESA)

CASEY: How ya doin’?

Oh no, are we going back to flirting school now?

NEW Sorkin Player: Lisa Edelstein

^{Character: Bobbi Bernstein}

DAN: Listen — please, listen to me. You’re obviously mixing me up with someone else.

BOBBI: You know what, Dan? I’m a professional broadcaster and I have a broadcast to do. You got me at a time in my life when I was very vulnerable, but you’ll be happy to know I’m not that silly little girl anymore. No, those days are over.

DAN: It wasn’t me.

BOBBI: Let’s not play these games.

And already, we the viewers are being signalled not to trust this woman — if she had any decency on the matter, she’s be working explicitly on correcting Dan’s memory instead of just treating Dan like he’s a psychopathic liar. Anyone who does the latter after we’ve already become invested in the man will automatically be low on our ranking of trustworthiness from the get-go.

ELLIOT: I just talked to my guy at LAX.

NATALIE: Yeah.

ELLIOT: Are you ready for this?

NATALIE: What?

ELLIOT: They weren’t on the charter.

…

NATALIE: Kim — the Breakfront Hotel in Vero Beach, ask for housekeeping. When you get housekeeping, ask for Angela. Tell Angela that Natalie Hurley would like her to go to Mr. McDermott’s room to see if he’d like turndown service.

Wait, what? How does Natalie have a contact in housekeeping at a hotel in Florida? Was she a high school classmate or something? If so, what are the chances that she’d end up working at exactly the hotel Natalie needed to spy on? For that matter, how would Natalie even remember off the top of her head that a high school classmate of hers was working in the hotel that baseball managers would be using? (sigh) I’m overthinking things…

GORDON: Leesa, tell Casey about what that guy said this morning.

DANA: Casey’s not paying any attention.

CASEY: Yes, I am.

DANA: In your head, you were counting yourself back from the commercial.

CASEY: No, I wasn’t.

DANA: You were counting yourself back from commercial in that big block head of yours.

Mighty fine case of projection you have going there, Dana.

CASEY: Tell us the story.

DANA: It’s just there’s this trade deadline —

GORDON: I know.

DANA: — and there could be a last minute trade.

GORDON: There’s not gonna be a last minute trade.

DANA: You’re an expert all of a sudden?

Come on, Gordon, you know an empty contradiction like that is a terrible way to get someone to relax. You might as well have told her directly to relax.

CASEY: Tell me the story about the guy.

DANA: Did I mention that the place where Natalie grew up is very small?

LET THE WOMAN TALK, DANA!

KIM: The housekeeping woman said there were five men in the room and she described them this way — tall, balding man with a mustache and slightly tinted glasses —

JEREMY: That’s Marvin Kaufman.

NATALIE: Who else?

KIM: Late twenties, tan, Pat Reilly hair —

JEREMY: Don’t know.

NATALIE: Who else?

KIM: Heavy set, beard —

NATALIE: That’s Rudin.

Gotta say, it’s a nice touch to have Jeremy and Natalie know the names of people in sports off of incomplete descriptions. It’s a good way to hammer home how the two of them are consummate professionals in the realm of sports journalism (despite recent evidence to the contrary).

RETURNING Dialogue Motif: In my [entire] life

^{Previous instance: Malice}

NEW Dialogue Motif: Never been to Spain

BOBBI: You know, Dan, it was Spain. I was young, and wide-eyed, and in Spain — and I don’t mind so much that you took advantage of what was obviously a very vulnerable time in my life, and I don’t mind that you danced with me and held me and whispered your lies in my ear. But to not call again —

DAN: In my entire life, I have never been to Spain!

But I kinda like the music!

BOBBI: Lies!

No, really, I do! Oh, never mind, you were talking to Dan.

NATALIE: Elliot’s contact at LAX says someone never got on the charter and Kaufman, Rudin, and two other guys are sitting in McDermott’s hotel room in Vero Beach.

DAN: Let’s get it.

NATALIE: Work the phones.

DAN: (to BOBBI) Quick, who do you know with the Dodgers?

BOBBI: Flowers, I’m sure, would’ve been too much to ask from the great [Dan Rydell.]

DAN: [Hey,] crazy lady? We’ve got breaking news, are you up for this?

BOBBI: Oh, sure, Dan, whatever you say, women are just here for you.

Oh, good fucking lord, Bobbi, get your act together.

DANA: She’s doing fine.

CASEY: Yes, she is.

DANA: Ooh.

CASEY: What?

DANA: Jealous?

Oh, good lord…

DANA: You said she’s doing fine.

CASEY: No, you said she’s doing fine.

DANA: What’d you say?

CASEY: I said, “yes, she is.”

DANA: And what did you mean by that?

CASEY: I meant she’s doing fine.

JUST SHUT UP, DANA!

LEESA: Listen, I don’t know you two very well, and maybe it’s just because you’re drunk, but I think you’re unnecessarily intense about your show. Gordon’s right — it’s just sports, for cryin’ out loud, it’s not the Paris Peace Talks.

DANA: Eh, get yourself a real name.

GET ME OUT OF THIS SCENE!

ELLIOT: We just want you to confirm or deny.

THANK YOU!

NEW Dialogue Motif: Fire me or shut up

ISAAC: You need 68.

NATALIE: No, I don’t.

ISAAC: Chris, show her 68.

NATALIE: Chris, preview 66 and 70. Isaac, please stay quiet.

ISAAC: “Please stay quiet”?

NATALIE: We blew off 68 in the ten o’clock rundown, now please stay quiet.

…

ISAAC: May I ask why?

NATALIE: Not right now, you can’t. Right now, you can fire me or stay quiet.

ISAAC: You’re very good.

No kidding — where was this confidence five episodes ago?

RETURNING Verbal Tic: From time to time

^{Running count: 2}

NATALIE: Elliot, you feel okay saying ‘unconfirmed reports’?

ELLIOT: Yeah.

NATALIE: Kim?

KIM: Yeah.

JEREMY: You can’t run any report, Natalie, you got a baggage handler and a chamber maid. No one’s saying this is happening.

NATALIE: You want to leave the room?

JEREMY: No.

NATALIE: Then allow for the possibility that from time to time other people might be at least as smart as you are.

Hoo, boy — how long has she been holding that one in? They’ve been sleeping together for a while now and she’s just now taking a smack at his sense of intellectual superiority?

NATALIE: (into phone) Mr. McDermott, this is Natalie Hurley over at Sports Night and I’ve very sorry to bother you this late, but we’ve got two people from your office who say you’re about to close a seven player trade. (beat) Well, you don’t have to take my word for it, sir, you can turn on your television set right now.

Damn, she is good — she must have stopped taking those herbs Jeremy warned her about.

CASEY: I really haven’t been a very good date.

LEESA: No, you haven’t.

CASEY: But we have the whole rest of the night, and I think I can make a comeback.

…

DANA: I’m not the world’s greatest girlfriend, am I?

GORDON: There’s some room for improvement.

DANA: That actually wasn’t the response I was hoping for.

The compare-and-contrast here speaks volumes: where Casey sees room for improvement as an opportunity, Dana ostensibly sees “room for improvement” as a personal affront. I mentioned a few entries ago how I’ve yet to be given reason to feel invested in Dana like the other main characters, and somehow that’s still the case, as this point of contrast emphasizes.

BOBBI: My only question for you, Dan, is why.

Another cut from the “final draft” script: before this question, those in the control room are nervously checking and finding that neither Bristol nor Fox has the story while Natalie remains on hold on the phone (“we’re looking awfully alone here”). Probably cut strictly for time, if I had to guess.

NATALIE: Confirmed.

JEREMY: You’re kidding.

NATALIE: (into mic) Danny?

DAN: (listens) Fantastic, Natalie, way to go.

BOBBI: Are you sleeping with Natalie?

Oh, fuck off, Bobbi.

CASEY: You look really nice tonight, Dana.

(DANA smiles unreservedly)

Turning your attention to previously in this episode:

DANA: … you think at a certain point during the evening you’ll say something wonderful to me and I’ll melt and that’ll teach me for going out with Gordon instead of you.

Are we to understand this qualifies as melting? She certainly seemed to forget her earlier accusation in this moment.

RETURNING Verbal Tic: You think?

^{Running count: 2}

NATALIE: What do I do at the end of this thing?

DANA: Take a bow, Natalie.

NATALIE: You think?

DANA: Absolutely.

NATALIE: (hangs up; into mic) Tag it, Dan.

DAN: Their combined contracts make for a total package in excess of 120 million dollars. That was a CSC exclusive.

(cheers in the control room)

Alright, I admit it — I’m a sap, I love this moment.

DAN: Natalie, I got a beer for you in my office right now.

ISAAC: This woman gets scotch in my office.

NATALIE: I’ll be right there, guys.

Oh, really? Seems to me those were competing offers, Nat, you’re gonna have to choose one. Choose wisely.

BOBBI: You see? And that is what is so cruel — you lift a woman’s spirits up and then you just dash them to the ground.

DAN: Well, it’s the only way I can get them into my laboratory.

Not that I don’t understand the change in tack, Dan, but she doesn’t seem in the mood for a joke like that. That’s a “yikes” moment from you.

JEREMY: I’m sorry.

NATALIE: What’d you think I was around here, some Gal Friday?

JEREMY: No. (beat) I just didn’t know you were that good.

Me neither! This episode definitely provides us the first full glance at a hyper-competent Natalie, which was previously only either implied or averted entirely. Here’s hoping this Natalie has come to stay…

RETURNING Verbal Tic: You bet

^{Running count: 3}

NATALIE: (kisses JEREMY) Go log the floor manager’s report and then come have a drink.

JEREMY: You bet.

Oh, I guess she’s declining both invitations for a drink, then — that’s a clean solution to the favoritism problem.

So… do I like this episode? Honestly… not really — while it is damn refreshing to see Natalie step up her game, I’d say it’s overbalanced on the other end with the characterization of Dana falling off the deep end as well as the thoroughly ridiculous Bobbi subplot. To a certain extent, though, I do have to once again praise a performance from Peter Krause, whose treatment of the dinner scenes managed to blunt the aggravation of Dana’s role for the viewer a good deal. Perhaps if the Bobbi subplot had been overhauled before shooting to be less antagonistic, I’d be willing to say this is an unquestionably good episode. As it stands, though, the treatment of women in this episode is overall questionable.

If you’ve somehow managed to get this far without being offended by some of my opinions, you are a fine candidate for subscription to this blog, which will entreat you with future entries as they are published. Coming up next: let me spread it out for you in a nutshell.