Entry 019 - Sports Night 116 (Sally)
In which news is slow to come
SERIES: Sports Night
EPISODE NUMBER: 116
TITLE: Sally
PREMIERE: 23 Feb 1999
WRITING CREDITS: Rachel Sweet and Aaron Sorkin
DIRECTOR: Robert Berlinger
DRAFT SCRIPT: HTML
An eighth revision draft script? Dated not even two weeks before the episode aired? And there’s still changes between draft script and final product? Wow, this show must have been fun to produce.
Alright, what do we say about moving the plot forward? It’s slow, but it moves herein. I made a crack many entries ago about that episode’s being the first of the rest of the series, but that frankly turned out to be wrong in a number of ways. I should instead mark this episode as such — if for no other reason than the show starts making it very clear that the laugh track should never have been here in the first place. Let’s dive into the episode.
ELLIOT: Is it me, or is this an incredibly slow news day?
This scene was originally not placed in the cold open, but rather as the first scene of Act I, and in its move got considerably truncated. As drafted, the scene starts with those we see in the scene lazily extemporizing (“in the deliberate way that people might speak in their 17th day on a lifeboat at sea”, as the stage direction colorfully offers) on how they are in the office at noon for a show that airs at 11pm before we get into the slow-news-day sequence.
KIM: What time does the first game start, Elliot?
ELLIOT: In seven hours.
KIM: Wow.
Cut from the final product is Kim following up after prompting that “sometimes this job really sucks”. With as close as the draft script is dated to the episode airdate, I have to wonder if that was a bit of real life informing art…
DAN: What’s your favorite shirt?
CASEY: I don’t have a favorite shirt.
DAN: What shirt are you missing?
CASEY: The white J. Press.
DAN: Your favorite.
Do people actually have favorite shirts? I know I suck at superlatives generally so I’m not really one to talk, but having a favorite of a piece of clothing seems really out there to me — especially considering this exchange is between two men whose clothing for the show is chosen by other people for them.
DAN: How did you lose it?
CASEY: I didn’t lose it.
DAN: Then how come you can’t find it?
CASEY: I didn’t say I couldn’t find it, I said I didn’t have it.
That seems like a distinction without a difference…
DAN: (beat) Wait.
CASEY: Dan —
DAN: Wait.
CASEY: Leave it alone.
DAN: Oh my goodness gracious.
CASEY: Danny…
DAN: You had sex with a woman.
Oh, never mind.
NEW Dialogue Motif: No, except yes
DAN: You went to a woman’s apartment, and there you had wine, and there you had sex.
CASEY: You are way off base, that is not what happened, except… yes, that’s what happened.
DAN: Casey…
CASEY: Fine.
DAN: I’m so proud of you.
CASEY: I never liked you at all.
Ouch — not much graciousness from Casey on that one, especially considering he skipped a line from the draft which would have made that line a response to Dan saying, “I have such love for you right now.” So much for the bromance, I guess…
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing
Running count: 7
JEREMY: So here’s the thing — Natalie’s invited me to spend Easter at her parents’ house in Ohio.
I’m sorry? She invited you to her parents’ place… for Easter? That seems incredibly off-color for her.
RETURING Verbal Tic: No kidding/shit
Running count: 2
JEREMY: Now… I’m Jewish.
DANA: No kidding.
JEREMY: Right, and I need some guidance — ‘cause I don’t mind telling you, I’m feeling just a little anxious about this. Number one, is it too early in our relationship for me to be spending three days at her parents? I mean, it’s not like I’m Pacino going back to Corleone and bringing gifts to Appolonia’s family.
Bad parallel, Jeremy — that would imply Natalie died in a car bomb.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Incredibly Not™
JEREMY: Number two, I’m Jewish… and her family is, you know, incredibly not — which isn’t, by the way, any sort of problem for me, but I do think it might be a problem for them, because after all, there are those who think I killed their Lord, Jesus Christ.
What is up with people who think that, by the way? According to the Christian mythology, the Romans crucify Jesus of Narazeth, not his fellow Jews. Are these people projecting on Judas’s betrayal, maybe? That’s the only thing I can figure, but even then, there are still the other eleven disciples who are guiltless (and the women following him as well, as English translations love to downplay).
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Hit over the head
Previous instances: The American President, Sports Night 114
JEREMY: … but anyway, Isaac, what do you think?
ISAAC: Oh my god, were you talkin’ to me all that time?
JEREMY: You want me to start again?
ISAAC: Yeah, but first, could you just hit me over the head with that blunt instrument over there?
…
JEREMY: How ‘bout we talk about it later?
ISAAC: Excellent.
(JEREMY leaves)
How is it that Isaac’s people are so likely to miss the sarcasm in his voice?
DANA: You must be getting tired of hearing everybody’s personal problems.
ISAAC: Just a little.
DANA: It’s an office, after all.
ISAAC: That’s right.
DANA: You’re our boss, not our bartender — we shouldn’t be leaning on you like this.
Oh, hey, are we getting the Dana-the-functioning-adult arc finally?
DANA: Gordon stood me up last night.
Damnit.
ISAAC: Were you supposed to go out?
DANA: We were supposed to go out.
ISAAC: Ah.
DANA: (beat) Is that all you have to say?
ISAAC: I’m surprised I could muster up that much.
DANA: I’m not gonna be one of those women.
DANA: He has an important job, which he loves. He had to work late.
ISAAC: When I was eleven, I had a pet fish that died.
DANA: And what does that have to do with Gordon [sic] standing me up?
ISAAC: Nothing — I thought you were finished.
God, I fucking love you, Isaac…
CASEY: How was last night?
DANA: Great, it was great — dinner at Rainbow and Stars, dessert at Café Luxembourg, then we stayed up all night and we laaauuughed. (leaves)
Um… okay? Why did you just lie directly to Casey’s face, Dana? There really was no reason to do that…
CASEY: Everybody coming in here with their personal problems?
ISAAC: As if I —
CASEY: I had sex last week for the first time since Lisa and I split up.
Oh, good lord, people…
CASEY: I’m feeling kinda conflicted about it — for many reasons, I suppose, not the least of which is that I obviously have to confront some unresolved feelings for Dana.
You know, despite the framing of the whole sequence, I think it’s actually a nice beat to have Casey admit this to Isaac of all people. Where Dan might resort to teasing and Natalie would simply ride on Casey’s back to follow through, Isaac is actually in a position to provide an objective response to the concern from Casey — especially considering he may have to deal with the potential consequences on behalf of HR in the future. The trick, of course, is to have Isaac in the mood to think on those things…
ISAAC: Keep talking — I’m just going to start drinking now.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.
DANA: What’s Jeremy doing out there?
NATALIE: He’s making eggnog.
DANA: He’s making eggnog?
NATALIE: Isn’t he sweet?
…
DANA: Does he know that no one drinks eggnog at Easter?
NATALIE: He thinks we do.
DANA: You don’t want to set him straight?
NATALIE: He’s just getting the hang of it.
Well, no, he really isn’t, Nat.
DANA: Let’s talk about work.
NATALIE: Alright. The box-and-one, especially if we’re talking about North Carolina —
DANA: Everything’s good now.
NATALIE: I’m sorry?
DANA: Everything’s good.
NATALIE: With Gordon.
DANA: Yes.
NATALIE: Excellent.
DANA: The ski weekend was good.
NATALIE: Good.
DANA: That was all I had to say.
NATALIE: Okay. The North Carolina —
DANA: I meant that it was right.
Good lord, Dana, just do your fucking job already!
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing
Running count: 8
DANA: Here’s the thing.
NATALIE: Dana —
DANA: It’s just this one thing.
NATALIE: What?
DANA: It’s this — and I preface this by [saying —
NATALIE: [— that everything’s good.]
DANA: [— that everything’s] very good.
All evidence to the contrary…
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing
Running count: 9
NATALIE: But here’s the thing.
DANA: He stood me up last night.
I would, too, if you always acted like that.
DANA: He said he had to work late.
NATALIE: Maybe he had to work late.
DANA: I’m sure he had to work late. Gordon doesn’t lie, I mean he wouldn’t lie to me, and, plus, he oftentimes has to work late, so… I am just a ridiculous person.
Well, at least you admit it.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: I’ll tell you what else
Running count: 4
DANA: My instinct is to call him.
…
NATALIE: You don’t want to make that call.
DANA: It’s not attractive.
NATALIE: It’s not attractive.
DANA: It’s not attractive, and I’ll tell you what else — it is no fun.
Certainly it isn’t any fun hearing you run at the mouth about it…
NATALIE: You’re gonna call him?
DANA: I wouldn’t put it past me.
…
NATALIE: It’s a bad idea.
DANA: Yet here I go. (picks up the phone and dials)
Honestly, if you’ve been reading my entries up to this point, I don’t need to say anything more on the matter — I’ve beaten this dead horse to a pulp, as far as I’m concerned.
CASEY: So I put my jacket on over my t-shirt —
DAN: Slink on home.
CASEY: I didn’t slink.
DAN: What time was it?
CASEY: It was about 6am.
DAN: Just getting light outside?
CASEY: Yeah.
DAN: Jacket over the t-shirt?
CASEY: Like I said.
DAN: You slinked.
CASEY: Dan.
DAN: You slinked, my young friend — and I’ve never felt closer to you in my entire life.
Cut from this button is Casey responding with “I want my shirt back” — presumably cut for time, if I had to guess, though the lack of response to Dan’s implied admission to having been a slinker himself does leave something of a hole, in my opinion.
DANA: I’ll tell you why I called, and this is going to sound silly…
NATALIE: Abort, Dana.
Hey, that’s my line!
DANA: He’s coming by tonight for the show, then we’re gonna go out. The tone in his voice — his tone of voice, it was all I needed to hear.
Boy, I hope she’s telling the truth here…
DANA: Jeremy’s still at it with the eggnog?
NATALIE: He badly wants to be accepted by my parents.
DANA: Yes.
NATALIE: Come to think of it, so do I.
Oh, yikes… sounds like there’s some backstory here of which we’ve been deprived so far. Is Natalie like Dana in that her parents erroneously don’t consider sports a place for an educated woman? Or perhaps are they some of those people who incorrectly think premarital sex is immoral and are having to stop themselves from disowning their “slut” of a daughter? Either way, she should know by now, as I stated before when starting with this show, that found family is more important than blood family — lacking her parents’ approval is hardly something needing correction at this point in her life.
DANA: I was feeling strange, and now I’m not feeling strange anymore.
NATALIE: Good. North Carolina —
DANA: I still feel strange.
Fuck, Dana was lying…
NATALIE: I have a theory.
DANA: You have a theory about this?
NATALIE: I have a theory about why you’re feeling strange.
DANA: I know you do, but I choose not to hear it.
NATALIE: Well, life’s not quite like that, is it, though?
She’s right — just read everything I’ve had to say about Natalie up to this point.
NATALIE: Here’s my theory.
DANA: Yes?
NATALIE: You don’t like Gordon.
DANA: Well, that’s an interesting theory, and you’d be completely right except for the fact that you’re totally wrong.
Is she, though? Everything I’ve seen on the matter so far indicates Dana is more into the self-submission to society’s toxic heteronormativity that insists a woman needs to be paired off in order to feel fulfilled in life rather than actually into Gordon specifically as a person. I’ve already ruminated on how it seems like Gordon may be considering pulling away anyway based on his behavior, so it really would be a natural progression for Dana to realize she’s not doing what’s right for her in this regard. And yet…
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Other People™
Previous instance: Sports Night 112
NATALIE: This is you and me talking, Dana, I’m not other people. This is our little coven of women.
DANA: A coven is a group of witches.
NATALIE: I thought a coven was just a group.
DANA: It’s a group of witches.
NATALIE: Alright, then this is our little something else.
DANA: Also, because a coven is more than two.
…
NATALIE: Then thank you, William Safire.
For those who had to look it up like I did: William Safire was a syndicated columnist for the New York Times who among other things wrote a regular column On Language in the publisher’s magazine discussing topics related to language and etymology.
DANA: I like Gordon a lot. I love Gordon. I’m telling you —
NATALIE: And I’m telling you that when you use that word in a romantic context you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
I mean… it’s true, but she shouldn’t say it.
DANA: That was a lousy thing to say about Gordon.
NATALIE: I didn’t say it about Gordon, I said it about you.
You know you can fire Natalie, right, Dana?
NEW Dialogue Motif: Imagine my surprise/shock
DANA: I’m calling him again.
NATALIE: To hear his tone of voice?
DANA: That’s right.
NATALIE: Imagine my surprise.
I have better things to do with my imagination.foreshadowing detected
NATALIE: Would you like any Fritos?
DANA: No, I’m fine.
NATALIE: I’ll be the judge of that.
Okay, seriously, Dana, you can just fire her!
NEW Non-Verbal Signature: Spit drink on self
NATALIE: This is one of those moments I’m compelled to tell you how wonderful you are. Every once in a while I’m reminded how lucky I am to be dating a solid, mature man.
(JEREMY nods silently)
NATALIE: Jeremy, swallow the eggnog.
JEREMY: (dribbling eggnog all over himself) I just can’t.
Hey, at least it wasn’t day-old coffee.foreshadowing detected
KIM: Anybody remember Salanio and Salerio?
…
KIM: They brought news — news of Antonio and his ship and the state of Shylock’s loan to Bassanio. They helped to keep the audience up-to-date. The Venticelli, they were called — the Little Winds.
Those of you who didn’t already now know what I meant when I referred to Dawson and Downey in A Few Good Men as Venticelli in the Marines — only considerably less anti-Semitic, one would hope…
NEW Dialogue Motif: “What ho”
KIM: Jeremy, good Jeremy — what ho!
JEREMY: ‘What ho’?
You ho?
KIM: What news, Jeremy?
…
JEREMY: … Dana’s having second thoughts about Gordon. Dana thinks it’s because Gordon stood her up last night under suspicious circumstances, but Natalie thinks it’s because Dana really likes Casey. Casey’s a little out of sorts because sometime last week he spent the night with someone. Casey thinks it’s because it was too soon after his marriage broke up, but Dan thinks it’s because Casey’s in love with Dana. That’s pretty much it.
Um… okay — that little wind felt suspiciously like a fart. For one, Jeremy is not really in a position to know anything about Casey’s situation yet (and as such incorrectly guesses who thinks Casey’s in love with Dana — that would be Natalie again, not Dan). For two, I’m pretty sure no one you’re talking to right now really cares, Jeremy.
DAVE: Would it be wrong for you guys just to make up a news story?
Case in point.
NEW Dialogue Motif: What men do™
DAN: Haven’t you noticed there’s a question I haven’t asked you yet?
CASEY: Yes.
DAN: I haven’t asked you who it was.
CASEY: No, you haven’t.
DAN: I haven’t asked you her name.
CASEY: I appreciate it.
DAN: Do you know why I haven’t asked?
CASEY: Well, it was like a week ago, Danny, now can we drop it?
DAN: I haven’t asked because that’s not what men do.
And yet, you’re going to be a man for just a second once again, aren’t you?
DAN: Was it Victoria?
Yep.
DAN: If it’s easier, you could write it down on a piece of paper.
CASEY: Why would that be easier?
DAN: Maybe the name’s difficult to pronounce.
CASEY: The name’s not difficult to pronounce.
DAN: Now we’re getting somewhere.
Good lord, Dan, lay off of him.
DANA: Do you think Casey’s been seeing Sally?
NATALIE: No.
…
DANA: Just like that?
NATALIE: What do you mean?
DANA: I mean it seems like you didn’t have to think about it at all. You didn’t have to consider it.
NATALIE: I didn’t.
DANA: Why not?
NATALIE: ‘Cause I know he’s not seeing Sally.
DANA: How do you know?
NATALIE: ‘Cause if he was, I’d know.
Okay, I need to connect the dots together. We’ve already established Casey is loathe to blab about his sex life to anyone, so if Natalie were to have definitive information on the matter, she would have had to get it from Sally somehow. Four episodes earlier, we found ourselves questioning how a piece of gossip managed to make it to Sally — are we to believe the cause of that gossip vector is that Natalie is in close contact with Sally? That would make for a dangerous gamble on Natalie’s part, considering how Dana has made her own feelings on Sally very clear to Natalie. I therefore have to come to the conclusion that no, Natalie, you almost certainly wouldn’t know, as much as you like to poke your nose into other people’s business.
NEW Verbal Tic: Bet your ass
DANA: Sally’s body is ridiculous.
NATALIE: You have a very good body, Dana.
DANA: Bet your ass I do.
NATALIE: That’s right.
DANA: And you do, too.
NATALIE: Tell me about it.
DANA: That woman’s body is over the line.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE, DANA?!
NATALIE: You know how I know Casey isn’t seeing Sally?
DANA: Why?
NATALIE: Because he really cares about you — and he knows it would hurt your feelings.
Curiously present in the draft script available to us is a typo on this line — it reads “hurt your fingers” instead of “hurt your feelings”. Just as another reminder, this draft script is dated not even two weeks before the episode aired.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: From time to time
Running count: 3
DAN: I, for example, have had, from time to time, trouble pronouncing the name Moira. Also, we know someone named Kirsten, and many people pronounce is ‘Keersten’.
…
CASEY: You know what, I have an idea — let’s talk about this a lot more.
(beep) Sarcasm Self Test complete! (beep)
DAN: You’re 19 feet tall — why are you wearing heels?
SALLY: Are you feeling diminutive?
DAN: No… but now I have to look up that word.
Man, come on! You’re a professional writer, Dan, there’s no way you haven’t come across or used that word before now!
SALLY: I, um… can’t find it.
CASEY: You can’t find it?
SALLY: The thing.
CASEY: Yeah.
I’d say “stunning specificity” as usual, but this is actually one case where the lack of specificity is for the better.
SALLY: Maybe it got mixed up with someone else’s laundry.
Never mind, she blew it.
CASEY: Okay, you only think you know what she was talking about.
DAN: I have a hunch I cracked her code, yes.
CASEY: She was talking about a pair of cross-country skis that she borrowed.
DAN: That may have gotten mixed up in the laundry.
CASEY: … Yes.
“I’ll have you know my skis are machine washable, mon petit fromage.”foreshadowing detected
DAN: You shouldn’t tell Dana.
CASEY: Of course I’m not gonna tell Dana.
DAN: I mean Dana shouldn’t find out.
“And I will surely in no way endanger that directive myself.”sarcasm detected
JEREMY: Did you know that the word ‘Easter’ never appears in the Bible?
ISAAC: Is that right?
JEREMY: The Bible is absent any mention of a celebration of the resurrection of Christ, save for one verse — Acts 12 verse 4, and that’s only in the King James Bible, where the word ‘Passover’ was mistranslated as Easter.
That’s hardly remarkable, Jeremy, the KJV is basically one long mistranslation. Wait until you hear the lore behind Psalm 46!
JEREMY: Jesus said, “Behold my hands and my feet, that it is myself. Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.”
ISAAC: (beat) What’s your question?
JEREMY: This relates to the bunny rabbit how?
Same way basically everything used to celebrate Christian holidays is actually related to those holidays: the rabbit was stolen from Pagan traditions.
Interesting thing to note: this scene with Jeremy and Isaac actually came after the next scene in the draft script (which, once again, is dated under two weeks before air). Very appropriate decision to swap, I’d say, given what happens in this next scene.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: How ya doin’
Running count: 12
CASEY: Get a room, for cryin’ out loud.
GORDON: Hey, how ya doin’?
CASEY: Ah, it’s a very slow news day.
GORDON: Well, a bunch of Congressmen are about to vote to rollback entire sections of ‘77 sub-B.
I cannot for the life of me determine for certain what Gordon is supposed to be referring to here. There are multiple titles in the US Code numbered as section 77 with a subpart B, one of which is just a bunch of definitions related to domestic securities swaps (15), another of which is a short statute on the taxing of income from commodity credit loans (26). However, as written in the draft script, there’s an apostrophe before “77”, which indicates a shortening of 1977 (or even 1877), which sends me down rabbit holes of employment non-discrimination, the payment of jurors, or physician referrals to health services under Medicare. I’m completely lost — yet another edition of The Lawyer Full Employment Act™.
GORDON: I like watching Dana in action.
CASEY: Ah, who doesn’t?
Ayo?
CASEY: Hey, Gordon… ever met a woman who works downstairs named Sally?
GORDON: Really tall?
CASEY: Yeah. She’s the executive producer on West Coast Update, 2am.
GORDON: Yeah, we’ve talked a couple of times.
CASEY: Yeah… yeah…
Someone grab a deerstalker — detective Casey is on the case.
CASEY: Don’t take my friendship with Dana for granted.
GORDON: (beat) What do you mean?
CASEY: I know you think I’m in love with her and that she thinks that I’m in love with her, and that’s all fine as long as it’s all fun and games… but I want you to know Dana’s important to me, I’ve known her for a long time and I like her a lot — and there are certain lengths I’d go to to avoid seeing her get hurt in any way.
Damn, is it refreshing to hear him say that — he’s basically verbalized exactly what my take on his relationship with Dana entails. He and she are good friends and colleagues who are there for each other without having to kowtow to the strictures of society that demand they have to sleep with each other to prove it. Why he’s felt the need to verbalize as much, has yet to be revealed to the audience… until the follow-up:
GORDON: What’s on your mind, Casey?
CASEY: You’re wearing my shirt, Gordon.
“It was at this moment that he knew… he fucked up.”
GORDON: I was wondering why it felt so tight.
Wow, okay — way to flex your physical prowess on the guy who just caught on that you’re cheating. Do you want to lift weights in front of him while you’re at it?
DANA: So what were you and Gordon talking about?
CASEY: Before?
DANA: Yeah.
CASEY: Nothing.
DANA: No, no, really.
CASEY: Really, it was…
DANA: You guys are getting along well now.
In so many ways, Dana — in so many ways…
Alright, let me just be upfront here: I really think there’s something to be said about how the draft script for this episode is dated under two weeks from the airdate. It’s got a rough-around-the-edges, quasi-stream-of-consciousness vibe to it that sets it apart from previous episodes of Sports Night. That tight timeline might even be why the episode conspicuously lacks a laugh track in many moments one would expect it, for all I know. Whichever the case, given that framing I’d say we’re looking at an absolutely solid half-hour of television with this episode — it’s clear great care was taken to ensure the beat of Gordon’s cheating would be revealed in a satisfying manner, with the subtle lead-up and the context of inane conversation cushioning the reveal in a way that is a pleasure to watch. Could more have happened plot-wise? Absolutely! However, given how important this beat will clearly be for the rest of the season, it’s best that it be presented in the unadorned manner we get herein — I think Mr. Sorkin managed to nail it with this one.
If you still haven’t jumped on the bandwagon, you’d do well to subscribe to this blog so that subsequent entries will get as close to being delivered directly to your eyeballs as currently possible. Coming up next: Lucky’s revenge, anyone? (Brownie points if you get that reference.)
Comments powered by Disqus.