Entry 003 - The American President

TITLE: The American President

PREMIERE: 17 Nov 1995

DIRECTOR: Rob Reiner

SHOOTING SCRIPT: HTML

Now we get into the good stuff!

The American President, released in 1995, heralded Mr. Sorkin’s return to director Rob Reiner after the arguably failed attempt to work with another director with his previous movie. It also marks Mr. Sorkin’s first foray into the world of Washington, D.C., which he’ll have cause to explore more later on.

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: if you’re looking to convince a Sorkin skeptic and only have time to show them one movie, this is the movie you should show to them — and I’m not just saying that because this movie contains by far the most Sorkinisms I could catch. The American President showcases the musicality of Sorkin dialogue turned up to 11, the overall structure of the script rising to a level I’d argue is analogous to a Beethoven symphony. Of all of Mr. Sorkin’s movies, I’d say only one other movie we’ll go over in the future comes close to the level of musicality herein, but this movie still has that one beat in my opinion.

Let’s get started before I really embarrass myself with all this gushing…

COOPER: Liberty’s moving.

Alright, we gotta talk about this right away. I still don’t really understand why Secret Service codenames are still a thing. They aren’t secret anymore like they used to be, so it’s not like anyone who taps into Secret Service comms wouldn’t know to whom they’re referring. If anything, I feel like the system requires Secret Service agents to keep mentally translating codenames to their corresponding protectees on a regular basis, which burns some mental power I would think they’d want to maintain for actually protecting their charges. Ah, well, it’s still a thing, so whatever.

I do have to say, though — ‘Liberty’? Not exactly the most imaginative codename for the guy. To be fair, though, it’s not like President Clinton’s codename was any more imaginative…

Fun fact: I bet you can’t even guess who in real life has received the Secret Service codename ‘Liberty’. Hint: the person in question came after this movie.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Wouldn’t be a day

NEW Sorkin Name: Lewis

JANIE: Mr. Rothschild asked to have a moment with you this morning.

SHEPHERD: Is he upset about the speech last night?

JANIE: He seemed concerned.

SHEPHERD: Well, it wouldn’t be a Monday morning unless Lewis was concerned about something I did Sunday night.

Maybe you should stop speaking on Sundays.

NEW Sorkin Name: Charlie

GROUNDSKEEPER: ‘Morning, Mr. President!

JANIE: (whispering) Charlie.

SHEPHERD: ‘Morning, Charlie!

I hope you’re committing that to memory, Mr. President.

LEWIS: Sir, the press is gonna need an explanation.

SHEPHERD: For what?

LEWIS: Well, because you dumped the whole kick-ass section, now we’ve just got this thing hanging out there.

Stunning specificity, man…

SHEPHERD: There’s this thing hanging out there?

LEWIS: “Americans can no longer afford to pretend they live in a great society,” and then, nothing, I mean, no explanation, no context, it’s just this thing.

SHEPHERD: And it’s hanging out there.

LEWIS: Yes, sir.

You see what I mean about the musicality? Man, I love this writer…

SHEPHERD: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.

LEWIS: I don’t drink coffee.

Hey, another member of the no-coffee club! A man ahead of his time!

NEW Dialogue Motif: Hit over the head

SHEPHERD: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?

What the hell?! I’m gonna report you to HR for that! Wait, HR works for you…

NEW Sorkin Name: Laura

JANIE: Happy birthday, Laura.

SHEPHERD: Hey, Laura, happy birthday.

Twice now, Janie has surreptitiously reminded the President of someone’s name. That woman is good.

NEW Sorkin Player: Anna Deavere Smith

^{Character: Robin McCall}

ROBIN: Buenos dias, Señor Presidente.

NEW Sorkin Name: McCall

SHEPHERD: Too-tall McCall!

Hold up…

Hmm… too tall, you say?

If we look at the script, we see from the stage direction that the character of Robin McCall was intended to be “a strikingly tall black woman”. Two out of three ain’t bad, I suppose — and it’s not like they didn’t make a damn good trade on the one miss. Kind of wish Mr. Sorkin thought to replace the nickname with some other iambic disyllable, though…

SHEPHERD: How was Mexico?

ROBIN: I didn’t truly appreciate it ‘til I came back and discovered that America isn’t a great society.

LEWIS: He dumped a whole section.

SHEPHERD: Now there’s this thing hanging out there.

The music continues…

ROBIN: Not a great society, sir?

SHEPHERD: Well, with you out of the country, it wasn’t. Now that you’re back, Robin, we’re great again.

So the secret to making American great again is to put a Black woman in the White House? Sign me up!

NEW Sorkin Player: Martin Sheen

^{Character: A.J. MacInerney}

NEW Sorkin Name: Shane

A.J.: Lewis — McSorley, McCluskey, and Shane hold too many markers. If we try to push this through and lose, there will be a very loud thud when we hit the ground, and that’s not what you want in an election year.

Man, Martin Sheen really knows how to make the music work…

NEW Sorkin Name: John

A.J.: John, will you call Mr. Kodak and tell him the President’s waiting?

RETURNING Sorkin Player: Maud Winchester

^{Character: White House aide
Previous appearance: A Few Good Men}

This one is easy to miss: as John moves to open the door, note the woman standing next to him — seems she got over her nephew’s dishonorable discharge from the Marines.

SHEPHERD: Three years ago, we were elected to the White House by one of the narrowest margins in history. Today, Kodak tells us 63 percent of registered votes think we’re doing a good job.

KODAK: Well, wait a second. You wanted me to poll registered voters?

(All present laugh)

You’re lucky this President has a sense of humor, man.

NEW Topical Signature: Gun control

ROBIN: Can I tell my morning press gaggle that gun control —

A.J.: Crime control, Robin. ‘Gun control’ means we’re wimps and we’re soft on crime.

Hoo, boy — we have ourselves a chicken-and-egg thing here. The Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 was first introduced to the Judiciary Committee in October 1993 and signed into law in September 1994. Cameras started rolling for this movie in November 1994, but Mr. Sorkin has since indicated it took him three years to write the script. How much of the rhetoric in this movie about “crime control” is a result of the debate on that act, and how much of it ended up being similar after-the-fact? Hard to say, but it certainly won’t be the last time we revisit the issue.

Side note: in early Sorkin works where we have scripts to reference, we see that some actors appeared to have trouble handling the Sorkin special of characters interrupting each other. This exchange is one of those instances — when A.J. interrupts Robin with “crime control”, you can tell Robin was awkwardly finished with what was written for her. There are other examples that we’ll see as we go through future entries.

NEW Dialogue Motif: For reasons passing understanding

LEWIS: We may never have an opportunity like this again. Sir, let’s take this 63 percent out for a spin, let’s see what it can do.

SHEPHERD: We can’t take it out for a spin, Lewis, we need it to get reelected. For reasons passing understanding, people do not relate guns to gun-related crime.

Full disclosure: I find myself unironically using the phrase “for reasons passing understanding” way more often than I’d care to admit — which is probably not good considering I’m a software engineer by profession…

A.J.: Leon, you’re gonna run the war room. We’re gonna need detailed projections for all the target districts by the end of the week. Oh, and, Leon? Don’t be the nice, sweet guy from Brooklyn on this one. Do what the NRA does.

KODAK: Scare the shit out of them?

A.J.: Exactly.

KODAK: I can do that.

“That’s a nice bill you got there. Sure would be a shame if someone were to vote against it…”

LEWIS: Can I just say, to return to the subject for one moment, that it might be easier to fight a war on drugs if we weren’t arming drug dealers?

SHEPHERD: We gotta fight the fights we can win, Lewis.

Wow, that’s a nice no-one-escapes-from-Stalag-13-style strategy. … Sir.

A.J.: We want to announce the crime bill at the State of the Union, which is 72 days from today. The last nose count put us 18 votes short.

SHEPHERD: Eighteen votes in 72 days.

How exactly do you gather a number like that? I understand each party has a whip in each Congressional chamber who as a result of their role would be able to determine how everyone in their party in that chamber are planning to vote, but it’s not like the whips for the opposition party would necessarily want to divulge that information to the Executive, no? Is there some other reliable counting mechanism I’m missing?

NEW Sorkin Name: Global Defense Council

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O.) Good morning, Global Defense Council…

Just in case it isn’t clear already — the Global Defense Council is not a real environmental lobby. There is an actual Global Defense Council, however, but it’s related to security rather than the environment. I cannot for the life of me find when that council was founded, though, so I don’t know who copped whom.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Pissed as hell

SUSAN: Did the President read the letter?

LEO: The President’s pissed as hell, Susan.

You mean to tell me Satan is drunk? Wait, that’s not what you meant.

LEO: This isn’t the guy who needed us four years ago, Susan, he’s incredibly popular. He’s gonna win re-election in a walk, and he could give a shit what we stand by!

Did you mean he couldn’t give a shit? I do have to say, while Mr. Sorkin’s musicality is a pleasure to hear, it does sometimes result in inconsistencies of grammar, and this is one of them. Sometimes he gets the qualifier for give-a-shit right, sometimes he doesn’t — it’s not all one way or the other. Whatever fits the rhythm for the occasion…

NEW Topical Signature: Politics of climate change

LEO: If the President passes the most important piece of environmental legislation in history, and does it despite our negative endorsement, our political weight in the future will rank somewhere below the Save the Spotted Owl Society.

The Save the Spotted Owl Society doesn’t appear to exist, but this line is almost certainly alluding to the controversy surrounding the conservation of the northern spotted owl. The northern spotted owl was first listed as a threatened species in June 1990, with the shrinking of old-growth forests being listed as the primary threat to their continued existence. As a result, the logging industry in the Pacific Northwest had its production — and by extension its workforce — severely decreased. The ensuing disgruntlement of displaced workers led to a period of rather savage rhetoric traded between loggers and environmentalists, which wasn’t exactly helped by the northern spotted owl population’s continued decline even after the scaling back of logging. Since this movie, the species’s main threat has been officially shifted to invasion by another species of owl into their territory.

SHEPHERD: What if I lose this?

LEWIS: Then move this up here.

I have to wonder if this interaction here is influenced by any real-world collaboration Mr. Sorkin may have had with either Rob Reiner or William Goldman. The latter reportedly continued his mentorship of Mr. Sorkin into the writing of this movie, so I don’t think it would be a stretch to say this little fraction of a scene could be an underhanded “thank you” to him.

RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dave/David

^{Previous instances: A Few Good Men; Malice}

ROBIN: David Sasser from the Times called and wanted to know what the White House felt was a great society.

LEWIS: What did you tell him?

ROBIN: I told him I couldn’t speak for the President, but for my money — Bermuda.

LEWIS: Perfect.

You’re lucky you said that to the Times and not the Post.

ROBIN: You gonna go stag?

SHEPHERD: That’s not a problem.

ROBIN: No, we’ve never gone wrong parading you around as the lonely widower.

(awkward silence)

ROBIN: I can’t believe I said that.

Yeah, I can’t believe it either.

Mr. Sorkin spent some time in the Clinton White House as research for writing this movie, so the overall atmosphere certainly had to be informed by that somehow. Nonetheless, I find it a little hard to believe senior staff are typically this informal with the President. Now, granted, the Clinton White House reportedly was considerably more casual than its predecessors, but at the same time, I don’t imagine someone like Dee Dee Myers letting a quip like that loose in front of the President — nor do I imagine President Clinton ever having told Rahm Emanuel to hit himself over the head with a baseball bat, for that matter… at least not out loud.

LUCY: Are my lips swollen?

“Are my lips swollen” is basically the brass player’s equivalent of “does this dress make my butt look big”.

SHEPHERD: Are they supposed to be?

LUCY: Yeah.

SHEPHERD: Then you’re doing fine.

And Shepherd’s answer to the former is just as non-committal as I’d expect for the latter.

LUCY: Whatcha got behind your back?

SHEPHERD: I have a little surprise for you.

LUCY: Is it a dirt bike?

Really? You think he’s able to fit a dirt bike behind his back?

NEW Dialogue Motif: “Really old” dig

LUCY: Is it a really old seventh-grade textbook of yours that you’re gonna make me read cover to cover and discuss at dinner and drive me crazy with?

SHEPHERD: Well, I’m not comfortable with the “really old” part, but everything else you said was true.

Hold on…

Okay, so… he would have been 50 at the time of filming. That’s actually pretty young for a president in his third year — he would have been in the top 15% youngest presidents to be sworn in. Moral of the story: yeah, you shouldn’t call him really old, kid.

SHEPHERD: Your social studies teacher said your class would be begin studying the Constitution this week.

LUCY: Wait a minute, you talked to Mr. Linder?

SHEPHERD: Yes, it’s called a ‘parent-teacher conference’, Mr. Linder and I were key players in the discussion.

Good lord, do you really need to be that sarcastic with your kid? … Sir.

SHEPHERD: Luce, take a look at this book. This is exciting stuff. It’s about who we are and what we want. Read what it says on the first page.

LUCY: (opens the book) “Property of Gilmore Junior High.”

SHEPHERD: The next page, Luce.

“But then that’s not the first page!” “Okay, read what it says on page 1. Is that unambiguous enough for you, you little shit?”

NEW Dialogue Motif: One of the perks

LUCY: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?

SHEPHERD: No, it’s just one of the perks.

“I’d rate this one just above the private jet.”

NEW Sorkin Player: John Mahon

^{Character: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs}

A.J.: How soon can you deploy them?

CHAIRMAN: We can airlift ‘em in the morning. They’ll have C-STAD operational in 20 days.

A.J.: Any security concerns?

ADVISOR: If anybody wanted to hit it, they’d have hit it by now.

… Are you sure about that?

NEW Sorkin Name: Leo

A.J.: Leo Solomon brought in a hired gun at the GDC.

SHEPHERD: It’s about time.

NEW Sorkin Name: Sydney

A.J.: She’s a lawyer from Virginia. Her name’s Sydney Ellen Wade. I know her pretty well. She’s had a lot of success getting congressmen elected.

Alright, Mr. Jazz, that’s not exactly what it says in the script! I’ll be honest with you, though, I actually like it better the way you said it in this case, so keep going.

RETURNING Sorkin Name: Andy

^{Previous instance: Malice}

A.J.: Good night, Mr. President.

SHEPHERD: A.J.?

A.J.: Yes, sir.

SHEPHERD: When we’re out of the office and alone, you can call me Andy.

A.J.: I beg your pardon?

SHEPHERD: You were the best man at my wedding, for crying out loud — call me Andy.

A.J.: Whatever you say, Mr. President.

God, I fucking love you, Martin…

NEW Dialogue Motif: Frank Capra shoutcut

SYDNEY: Forgive me, this is my first time at the White House. I’m trying to savor the Capra-esque quality.

SUSAN: He doesn’t know what Capra-esque means.

NEW Sorkin Player: Thom Barry

^{Character: White House guard}

GUARD: Yeah, I do. Frank Capra, great American director — It’s a Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington…

“Has a grandson who’s into film as well…”

NEW Verbal Tic: Knock ‘em dead

GUARD: Sydney Ellen Wade of Virginia, knock ‘em dead.

I’m not sure the Secret Service would allow that…

NEW Topical Signature: Vouchers

SHEPHERD: The day the government starts subsidizing private schools is the day we give up on public education.

ED SEC’Y: I know the proposal only scratches the surface, but it’s the least we can do.

SHEPHERD: We’re already doing the least we can do, but I can’t think of anything better, so we’ll go with this for now. (to HUD SEC’Y) Jerry, say hello to Linda for me, and if I don’t see you again, have a good Thanksgiving.

He evidently doesn’t see “Jerry” every day, but is still able to commit his name to memory. I guess there’s a cutoff of some sort on whose names he remembers?^{foreshadowing detected}

JANIE: You’re running four minutes ahead of schedule.

SHEPHERD: Ahead?

JANIE: Yes, sir.

SHEPHERD: That’s unprecedented, I don’t know what to do with myself.

You’re the one who called the meeting early! … Sir.

SUSAN: Sir, Ms. Wade’s been thrown into the deep end of the pool on her first day. She hasn’t even had a chance to read the report of the Québec Conference.

SYDNEY: (beat) You’re right. I haven’t read it. If someone had asked me yesterday, I would have told them the Québec Conference was made up of six professional hockey teams.

I don’t know, ma’am, Québec is a large province, I think they have more than six hockey teams.

SYDNEY: But what I do know is that it’s time for the President to run for president again. Leon Kodak is as good as it gets when it comes to electoral strategy, and I’m certain he’s told the President exactly what I’d tell him — you gotta nail down Michigan and California where they make cars and airplanes, and they burn plenty of fossil fuels. But, if I’d read these eight hundred pages, I would have discovered that it’s the burning of fossil fuels which is mostly responsible for global warming, and that the 20 percent reduction recommended by the GDC is a necessary first step toward arresting the catastrophic greenhouse effect which has gone unchecked by this administration.

SUSAN: It’s really time to —

SYDNEY: Susan, I promise you, the White House Chief of Staff will not let us leave here until he’s broken the bad news.

(golf clap) Brava.

NEW Verbal Tic: Musical theatre appeal

SYDNEY: The President has critically misjudged reality. If he honestly thinks that the environmental community is going to whistle a happy tune while rallying support around this pitifully lame mockery of environmental leadership just because he’s a nice guy and he’s done better than his predecessors, then your boss is the Chief Executive of Fantasyland.

You may be wishing you held on to that make-believe bravery, sister…

RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Beat the shit out of X

^{Previous instances: Malice, A Few Good Men}

SHEPHERD: Let’s take him out back and beat the shit out of him.

Secret Service would have them down like calves at a rodeo, sir.^{foreshadowing detected}

SYDNEY: Mr. President, I’m… um… don’t know what to say. I… I’m speechless.

SHEPHERD: All evidence to the contrary.

God, I fucking love that line.

NEW Sorkin Name: Sloan

SUSAN: Mr. President, we haven’t met, I’m Susan Sloan, I used to work with Congressman Myers. And I-I hope this episode in no way jeopardized the good relationship —

SHEPHERD: Sydney?

SYDNEY: Yes, sir?

SHEPHERD: You have a second?

SYDNEY: Uh… of course.

Note to self: always be skeptical when the President of the United States offers you a one-on-one.

NEW Sorkin Name: Janie

SHEPHERD: I thought maybe we might talk in private, someplace a little less intimidating? Janie?

JANIE: Yes, sir.

SHEPHERD: This is my personal assistant, Janie Basdin. Janie, would you show Ms. Wade to the rec room?

JANIE: This way…

SHEPHERD: I’ll be with in a second.

(JANIE escorts SYDNEY into the Oval Office, closing the door behind her)

Oh, now that’s just mean! … Sir.

SYDNEY: Mr. President, what you saw in there was nothing more than vanity run amok. I was showing off for a colleague who doesn’t think very much of me. It’d be a real injustice for you to hold the GDC accountable for my behavior today, on top of which, I’m monumentally sorry for having insulted you like that.

SHEPHERD: … Are you under the impression I’m mad at you?

Who’s Chu? … Sorry, force of habit.

SHEPHERD: Did you know the city planners, when they sat down to design Washington, D.C., their intention was to build a city that would intimidate and humble foreign heads of state?

Hold on…

… Eh, yeah, I suppose those diagonal roads would be intimidating?

SHEPHERD: Sydney, at 20 percent we’re 34 votes shy in the House, it can’t be done.

I’m still not sure how you know something like that.

RETURNING Plot Bunny: The Ambiguous Date Ask™

^{Previous instances: Malice, A Few Good Men}

SHEPHERD: Listen, um… are you hungry? I skipped breakfast. You wanna… have a donut? Coffee or something?

SYDNEY: (stares uncomprehendingly)

Yeah, I wouldn’t know what to say, either.

A.J.: Nice shot, Mr. President.

SHEPHERD: “Nice shot, Mr. President”? You won’t even call me by my name when we’re playing pool?

A.J.: I will not do it playing pool / I will not do it in a school / I do not like green eggs and ham / I do not like them, [Sam-I-Am.]

SHEPHERD: (overlapping) [At ease, A.J.], at ease!

“Would you rather I quoted The Lorax? It would be apropos.”

SHEPHERD: W-would you get away from the pocket?

A.J.: I beg your pardon, sir.

Once again, Martin Sheen is being the jazz musician and throwing in lines. He’s been doing well getting away with it, so far.

A.J.: It’s a waste of time.

SHEPHERD: But it’s not our time! GDC makes a big push for the votes, when they come up short, we move in with a softer bill, get it passed, we’re everybody’s hero.

Damn, that’s actually kinda conniving. We have ourselves a real politician here.

SHEPHERD: Did she say anything about me?

A.J.: Miss Wade?

SHEPHERD: When she called.

A.J.: Did she say anything about you?

SHEPHERD: No, it’s just that we had a nice couple of minutes together. She threatened me, I patronized her, we didn’t have anything to eat, but, uh, I thought there was a connection.

(A.J. nods dissociatively)

Yeah, I wouldn’t believe him after that line either.

SHEPHERD: She didn’t say anything about me?

A.J.: Well, no, sir, but I could pass her a note before study hall.

You would say that to the President? Are you looking to get reassigned to the Yukon?^{foreshadowing detected}

SHEPHERD: Wilson was widowed during his first term, he met a woman named Edith Gault. He dated her, courted her, and married her, and somewhere in there he managed to form the League of Nations.

Yeah, like that went well…

A.J.: Mr. President, this is an election year. If you’re looking for female companionship, we can make certain arrangements that’ll ensure total privacy.

What the fuck?!

SHEPHERD: I don’t want you to get me a girl, A.J.! What is this Vegas?!

I’ll say!

SHEPHERD: I’m a single adult, I met a woman who I’d like to see again socially. Now how is that different from what Wilson did?

A.J.: The difference is he didn’t have to be president on television. You’ve said it yourself a million times — if there’d been a TV in every living room 60 years ago, this country does not elect a man in a wheelchair.

Now that’s an historical fan-fiction waiting to happen! Get writing, folks!

A.J.: I’m saying we’ll take a hit.

SHEPHERD: How big?

A.J.: I don’t know. Five points, maybe more.

SHEPHERD: Five points, we’re sitting here talking about five points?

No, you’re standing there talking about it. … Sir.

A.J.: Could be more.

SHEPHERD: I drop five points when Wisconsin doesn’t make it to the Rose Bowl.

Huh? Why would a college football team making it to a bowl game have any effect whatsoever on a President’s poll numbers? It’s not like President Biden would receive a bump if the University of Delaware made it to the Orange Bowl or something — though, now that I say that, I couldn’t even tell you if U-Del has a football team.

SHEPHERD: This is not the business of the American people.

A.J.: With all due respect, sir, the American people have a funny way of deciding on their own what is and what is not their business.

Yeah, just ask Hillary Clinton.

SHEPHERD: She didn’t say anything about me?

A.J.: Well, she did said you’re taller than she thought you’d be.

SHEPHERD: Well, that’s something.

Why? I know I’m aro-ace so I’m less disposed to understand, but why would someone’s height have any effect at all on how attractive people find them? If anything, I would think being too tall would make it hard to kiss them, no? (sigh) Don’t think about it too hard.

SYDNEY: I’ll tell you one thing, boy — I regrouped, you gotta give me that. I pulled it together at the end. I stood in the middle of the Oval Office and I made it absolutely clear that from now on, he who doesn’t take the GDC seriously does so at his peril!

Wait, back up — did you just call your sister ‘boy’? This is one interesting sisterhood…

NEW Sorkin Player: Nina Siemaszko

^{Character: Beth Wade}

BETH: And then you walked out the wrong door.

SYDNEY: Are you gonna be throwing that back at me the rest of my life?

BETH: That’s my current plan, yes.

Okay, that sounds more like a standard sisterhood, I withdraw my objection.

SYDNEY: You’re hilarious, Richard, you’re just a regular riot.

SHEPHERD: No, this isn’t Richard, this is Andrew Shepherd.

SYDNEY: Oh, well, I’m so glad you called, because I forgot to tell you today what a nice ass you have. I’m also impressed that you were able to get my phone number given the fact that I don’t have a phone. Good night, Richard.

SHEPHERD: Look, this isn’t Richard—

(SYNDEY hangs up)

SHEPHERD: (beat) This used to be easier…

Gee, I wonder why…

NEW Verbal Tic: This isn’t happening

SHEPHERD: Listen, do me a favor, hang up the phone.

SYDNEY: … What?

SHEPHERD: Hang up the phone, then dial 456-1414. When you get the White House operator, give her your name and tell her you want to speak to the President.

(SHEPHERD hangs up the phone; after a beat, SYDNEY drops her phone in mortification)

SYDNEY: This isn’t happening to me.

Better believe it, sister.

SHEPHERD: Hello!

SYDNEY: Mr. President — heh, um…

Okay, I have to stop my textual analysis for a moment to note this absolutely fantastic subtle bit of direction to have Sydney stand when she starts talking here. She is now fully aware that she’s speaking to the President and exhibits the same body language she would have if he were in the room — the only difference being that she’s in her pajamas.

SHEPHERD: It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have called you at home. Should I call you at the office tomorrow?

SYDNEY: No, no, of course not. I mean, yes, you can call me anytime you want, this is fine, right now is fine. When I said “of course not”, I meant that… you know what, the hell with it, I’m moving to another country.

Try Bermuda, I hear it’s great there!

NEW Dialogue Motif: What did [you] mean when [you] said…

SHEPHERD: What did you mean when you said that you didn’t have a phone?

SYDNEY: Oh, I just moved to Washington over the weekend, and my apartment isn’t ready yet, this is my sister’s apartment. Come to think of it, how did you get this number?

SHEPHERD: How did I get the number, that’s a good question, um… I don’t know, probably the FBI.

SYDNEY: Oh, the FBI. Sure! ‘Cause… if you want to find someone and you’re the president, that’s who you would call.

SHEPHERD: You know who else is good at that?

SYDNEY: Uh… CIA?

I don’t think that falls in the CIA’s jurisdiction, ma’am…

SHEPHERD: Well, yeah, but I was thinking of the Internal Revenue Service, you know, they have these computer files that, uh…

You know, under different circumstances, that might have been considered a veiled threat!

SHEPHERD: I was wondering, and, uh, you’re under no obligation at all…

“But if you do say no, I’ll have you audited.”

SHEPHERD: (beat) Sydney? (beat) Sydney, Congress doesn’t take this long —

SYDNEY: Mr. President… (stands) you are asking me to join you in representing our country.

And she’s standing again!

SHEPHERD: I’m gonna have a very nice woman named Marsha Bridgeport call you. She’s the White House Social Secretary, and she’s gonna help you with anything you want. Now, when she calls you and tells you her name is Marsha Bridgeport, it’ll help if you give her the benefit of the doubt.

Hey, he’s already joking about it, sister, that’s a good sign!

LEWIS: We got Jarrett!

“He went to Jarret?!”

KODAK: You, new guy! Jarrett, Democrat, Minnesota — slide his name on over to “yes”! (to Lewis) We just had his name laminated under “undecided”. How’d you get the fence pole out of his butt?

I suppose it’s worth pointing out, this won’t be the last time we’ll hear Mr. Sorkin imply people of Minnesota are debilitatingly obstinate. I really have no idea why he would have thought that — it’s not like Jesse Ventura was governor yet.

KODAK: Give us a vote, get a photo-op with number 63.

Huh?! Number 63?! Does this movie take place a hundred years in the future?!

NEW Dialogue Motif: Don’t have time to do one thing at a time

LEWIS: We should have gone after the handguns.

KODAK: Well, we gotta do one thing at a time.

LEWIS: We don’t have time to do one thing at a time.

Well, you know, Lewis, the United States government is only really able to do one thing at a time by design. If you really want to move at a faster pace, you should move to a parliamentary country. I don’t suppose Bermuda has a parliament?

RETURNING Sorkin Player: Joshua Malina

^{Character: David
Previous appearances: Malice, A Few Good Men}

DAVID: You okay, Syd?

SYDNEY: Sure, why?

DAVID: I don’t know, you… seem a little tense.

SYDNEY: What do you mean? (notices her pencil tapping, pointedly stops after a beat)

DAVID: What do you have, big date tonight?

(SYDNEY tries to put the pencil back in its cup and misses)

Strangely enough, this exchange got expanded upon from how it is in the original script — it’s only the one line after a chain of clumsy actions. Why the additions?

NEW Sorkin Player: Ron Canada

^{Character: Reporter Lloyd}

LLOYD: I’m standing here with Senate Minority Leader Robert Rumson, just one of the many guests arriving at what, for the next few hours at least, is a non-partisan White House.

Every time I see him on screen now, I hear Joshua Malina singing his name to the tune “O Canada”.

NEW Sorkin Name: Lloyd

RUMSON: Lloyd, it’s a long time ‘til next November. Right now, I’m just looking forward to a pleasant evening.

Alright, I’m sure that interaction wasn’t important at all…^{sarcasm detected}

SHEPHERD: That’s a little tight, Luce.

LUCY: It’s supposed to be tight. It’s supposed to make you look regal.

SHEPHERD: Is it supposed to cut off the blood flow to my face?

“Well, the blood’s supposed to go elsewhere, you know?”

NEW Plot Bunny: Women tie bowties

SHEPHERD: Sweetie, did Mom teach you how to do that?

LUCY: … Yeah.

You know, come to think of it, how is it that more women know how to tie bowties than men in the Sorkin universe? It’s not like they’re wearing bowties themselves, is it? If so, then I’m living in the wrong state…

NEW Plot Bunny: Women and shoes

LUCY: You’ll be fine, just be yourself.

SHEPHERD: Be myself.

LUCY: Yeah, and, um… compliment her shoes.

SHEPHERD: … Her shoes?

LUCY: Yeah — girls like that.

“Well, okay, but she’s a woman, not a girl, so…”

NEW Sorkin Name: Esther

A.J.: You know my wife, Esther.

SYDNEY: Sure, it’s nice to see you again.

…

ESTHER: Men like being insulted by women, it makes them feel loved.

I’m insulted by that! Wait…

NEW Sorkin Name: D’Astier

SHEPHERD: Mr. President, would you allow me to introduce to you Sydney Ellen Wade of the Commonwealth of Virginia. Sydney, this is President René-Jean D’Astier and his wife Monique Danielle D’Astier of France.

Good luck explaining to them what a commonwealth is.

SYDNEY: Do you do this often, sir?

SHEPHERD: Well, this is actually only our second State Dinner. The first was for the Emperor of Japan — who died shortly after, so we stopped having them for a while, just in case.

Okay, this is a weird one — at the point this movie was made, the most recent Japanese Emperor death was that of Hirohito, who died on 7 January 1989. That places his death 13 days before an American president would have been inaugurated, so President Shepherd couldn’t possibly have held a State Dinner for him as he’s still in his first term. That is, unless the timeline of this movie is similar to that of a certain TV show where things are inexplicably shifted over two years^{foreshadowing detected} — or, for that matter, this movie takes place a hundred years in the future like Kodak seemed to imply earlier.

SYDNEY: Lately, I seem to be going out on a lot of first dates.

SHEPHERD: Oh, then you’re experienced at this.

SYDNEY: Oh yeah, yeah, you can ask me anything.

SHEPHERD: Well, how are we doing so far?

(flash bulbs start going off)

SYDNEY: Hard to say at this point, so far it’s just your typical first date stuff.

(brass fanfare starts)

SHEPHERD: Damn, and I wanted to be different from the other guys.

Man, with as much sarcasm as they’re able to trade with each other, we might as well find a chaplain right now.

SHEPHERD: Oh, by the way — nice shoes.

(SYDNEY smiles giddily in response)

“Thanks, I stole them from the… wait.”

NEW Plot Bunny: No French

SHEPHERD: Esther, you speak French?

ESTHER: Latin.

SHEPHERD: I thought you spoke French.

ESTHER: No, Latin.

“I cared more about passing my SATs than being a functioning member of society.”

NEW Dialogue Motif: “Dissolve treaty” quip

SHEPHERD: Sydney, I don’t suppose that —

SYDNEY: Monsieur le President, nous sommes tous habilles…

…

SHEPHERD: Sydney, you didn’t dissolve our trade agreements, did you?

“I mean, you are an environmentalist, so I do have to ask…”

A.J.: I’ll bet no one accused Louis of being ‘soft on crime’.

Well, actually, Louis XVI scaled back use of the death penalty during his reign, so don’t be so quick to say that.

NEW Dialogue Motif: I don’t know how you do it

SYDNEY: I don’t know how you do it.

SHEPHERD: Arthur Murray, six lessons.

SYDNEY: That’s not what I mean. Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you right now, with two questions — “who’s this girl, and why is the president dancing with her?”

SHEPHERD: Well, first of all, the 200 pairs of eyes aren’t focused on me, they’re focused on you.

Oh, like that would make her feel any better!

A small exchange during this dance in the script got cut from the final product: Lewis and Robin admire the dancing couple from the back of the room then immediately afterward agree, “We’ve got troubles.” Are you kidding me? Man’s dancing with a consenting woman he likes and your mind immediately goes to bullshit political repercussions? I’m kinda glad that got cut.

SHEPHERD: Janie, can you get me the number of a local florist?

JANIE: I’ll take care of it, sir. Where do you want them sent?

SHEPHERD: No, I want to do it myself, I just need the phone number.

JANIE: … I don’t understand.

SHEPHERD: … I want the phone number of a florist.

JANIE: You just… want the phone number?

Man alive, he might as well be telling a Marine to call him Andy.

NEW Dialogue Motif: The Made-Up Org of X™

LEWIS: Who are we calling, sir?

SHEPHERD: I’m calling the Organization of the United Brotherhood of It’s None of Your Damn Business, Lewis. I’ll be with you in a minute.

Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all. You might as well have invoked Executive privilege on him.

LEWIS: Janie?

JANIE: Yes?

LEWIS: What’s the President doing?

JANIE: … I’m sorry, I’m really not at liberty to say.

See? Your assistant could have convinced them it was a matter of national security, no problem! You had to ruin it!

SHEPHERD: (over intercom) Janie, what’s the state flower of Virginia?

You really did have no plan, did you?

JANIE: Mrs. Chapil, state flower of Virginia?

CHAPIL: The dogwood.

Ah, yes, another thing Virginia stole from Carolina…

SHEPHERD: I’d like a dozen, please. (listens) Really, no dogwoods?

Yeah, dogwoods aren’t a perennial flower, Mr. President, they’re not exactly in season in November.

NEW Dialogue Motif: President of what?

SHEPHERD: Perhaps it would be better if you bill me for the flowers, I’m sure it’ll be alright with your boss. (listens) Well, I don’t know if you recognize my voice, but this is the President. (listens) … Of the United States! (pause) Hello? (pause) Hello?

Man, I miss Bob Newhart…

LEO: Did you sleep with him?

SYNDEY: … Leo…

LEO: Did you sleep with him?

SYNDY: That’s none of your business, Leo.

Tell him, sister…

LEO: I hired a pit bull, not a prom queen!

SYNDEY: That’s unfair!

LEO: It’s incredibly unfair!

Well, at least you admit it…

NEW Dialogue Motif: Cocktail party joke

LEO: Politics is perception, and if this doesn’t work out, the amount of time it’ll take you to go from being a hired gun to a cocktail party joke can be clocked with an egg timer.

I don’t know, I think people at parties like that spend enough time making a joke out of the word ‘cocktail’.

NEW Verbal Tic: Here we go

SECRETARY: Mr. Solomon, this was just delivered by White House messenger. It’s marked ‘perishable’.

LEO: The White House has sent me something perishable?

SECRETARY: It’s for Ms. Wade.

LEO: Oh — here we go…

…

SECRETARY: Dig it, Ms. Wide — you’re the President’s girlfriend!

LEO: There’s never an egg timer around when you need one.

Dude!? You have the sensitivity of a brick!

ROBIN: How do you want me to handle the Sydney issue?

SHEPHERD: … The Sydney issue?

LEWIS: Well, we should have a consensus on how the White House is going to handle it.

SHEPHERD: … Well, I certainly hope ‘the Sydney issue’ refers in some way to a problem we’re having with Australia…

“Well, sir, if that were what we meant, then we would have said ‘Canberra problem’…”

NEW Dialogue Motif: Kinks in the system

SHEPHERD: Did you, uh, get the ham?

SYDNEY: (chuckles) Yes, I got the ham, thanks.

SHEPHERD: I wanted to send you some flowers, but there appear to be some kinks in the system.

Oh, yeah, sure, blame the system! Did you change parties when I wasn’t paying attention? … Sir.

SHEPHERD: Are you free for dinner tomorrow evening?

SYDNEY: Dinner?

SHEPHERD: Casual, in the Residence, without the United Nations. My daughter’ll be there, so it may seem like the United Nations…

How would your daughter be like the UN if she’s not participating in social studies?

NEW Sorkin Name: Jeff(rey)

NEW Sorkin Player: Gabriel Jarret

^{Character: Jeff}

SHEPHERD: Excuse me — Jeff!

SYDNEY: Actually, I have some concerns that I —

JEFF: Yes, sir?

NEW Sorkin Name: Stackhouse

SHEPHERD: I can’t do this.

JEFF: Which, Robbins or Stackhouse?

SHEPHERD: Either one — I have to be in and out.

JEFF: Sir, Governor Stackhouse said he just needed ten minutes. I think he wants to talk about the assault weapons.

SHEPHERD: Stackhouse wants to talk about grazing rights, trust me.

You sure it wasn’t milk subsidies instead?^{foreshadowing detected}

SHEPHERD: I am not mocking you, honest — I’m just a guy asking a girl over for a meal.

SYDNEY: (at the growing sound) What — what’s that?

SHEPHERD: (as the helicopter lands) That’s my ride.

That’s what you get for calling a grown woman a girl. … Sir.

SYDNEY: Leo Solomon has some serious concerns about me exploring a social…

“Cut! It’s ‘my’, not ‘me’! Get it right next time!”

NEW Dialogue Motif: The Dentist Lie™

LUCY: My dad told me to tell you that he’s on the phone with his dentist and that I should behave myself and entertain you ‘til he gets back.

SYDNEY: Your father’s on the phone with his dentist?

LUCY: No — he told me to tell you he’s on the phone with his dentist.

Wow, you’re such a little rat.

SYDNEY: How’s everything with your teeth?

SHEPHERD: … My teeth?

God, you suck at lying! … Sir.

NEW Sorkin Player: Richard McGonagle

^{Character: Rumson Staffer #1}

STAFFER #1: So it comes down to character.

That guy has a nice voice…

CARL: Bob, the character debate didn’t work out for us.

RUMSON: Because it couldn’t. Our polling told us that attacking his character less than a year after he’d lost his wife was gonna be a turn-off, it was gonna make people feel sorry for him. We couldn’t run the campaign we wanted because the opponent was a widower.

Whenever I watch this movie, I have to stop my brain from insisting Rumson is an expy of Bob Dole, whose presidential run against Bill Clinton came after this movie. To be honest, I can’t even say for certain how negative Bob Dole’s campaign was — my view of him may or may not just be guilt-by-association with his complete fucking asshole of a wife.

SYDNEY: Your dad says you’re studying the Constitutional Convention.

SHEPHERD: She’s not having any fun, though.

LUCY: Dad…

SYDNEY: You’re not having any fun?

Oh, good lord, do you really have to pile on?

SYDNEY: She’s wonderful.

SHEPHERD: She’s her mother.

SYDNEY: … She’s you.

Man, I could listen to that musical little exchange over and over again…

SHEPHERD: Yeah, this is the dish room.

SYDNEY: (giggles) It’s not the dish room.

SHEPHERD: Yeah, it is, it’s the room with all the dishes.

SYDNEY: It’s the China Room.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want the room to be confused for a pinko, so I don’t call it that.”

(SYDNEY feels SHEPHERD’s eyes on her, turns to look)

Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this shot of Shepherd looking at Sydney makes Michael Douglas look dyspeptic.

SYDNEY: Mr. President — have you ever noticed how similar the Van Buren flatware is to the Buchanan flatware?

Well, they were both shit presidents, so that makes sense.

SHEPHERD: Do you think there will ever be a time when you can stand in a room with me and not think of me as the President?

SYDNEY: This isn’t a state of mind. You are the President.

For now!

SYDNEY: And when I’m in a room with you, oval or any other shape, I’m always gonna be a lobbyist…

Well, wait, you’ll retire eventually, no?

SHEPHERD: I got news for you, Sydney — as a lobbyist, you would never be alone in a room with the President.

Damn, for a widower, he has some lines…

SYDNEY: You think this is a good idea?

SHEPHERD: … Probably not.

Well, at least you admit it…

SHEPHERD: I’m sorry, we’re going to have to cut our evening short, the Libyans have just bombed C-STAD.

Wait, hold on, are you actually allowed to tell her that? Seems to me that’s skirting the edge of the Espionage Act…

NEW Sorkin Player: Ralph Meyering Jr.

^{Character: NSC General}

SHEPHERD: Well, Libyan I.H.Q., looks like it’s in the center of downtown Tripoli. What else are we gonna hit?

GENERAL: Nothing… unless we miss.

I wouldn’t joke about that if I were you.

SHEPHERD: How many people are working in the building?

CHAIRMAN: We’ve been all through this —

SHEPHERD: How many people are working in the damn building?

I love the implication here that the President has been in biffs with the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs about this sort of conversation before — it makes the movie feel more lived-in, much like all the little bits thrown in like the tail end of the vouchers conversation and other minor elements we’ll be seeing shortly.

RETURNING Sorkin Player: Arthur Senzy

^{Character: NSC Deputy
Previous appearance: A Few Good Men}

DEPUTY: I have the numbers here, Mr. President. There are three shifts of —

SHEPHERD: The fewest — what shift has the fewest people in the building? The night shift, right?

DEPUTY: By far, sir, mostly custodial staff.

SHEPHERD: What time does the night shift start?

DEPUTY: They’re on now, sir.

Wait, what? Libya would be six or seven hours ahead of Eastern US time, and it’s late enough for your daughter to have sent herself to bed. Surely there’s not enough time left on the night shift in Tripoli for the bombers to make it?

NEW Plot Bunny: The virtue of a proportional response

A.J.: Sir, it’s immediate, it’s decisive, it’s low risk, and it’s a proportional response.

SHEPHERD: Someday, someone’s going to have to explain to me the virtue of a proportional response.

“If not to me, then at least to the next guy.”^{foreshadowing detected}

KODAK: What you did tonight was very presidential.

SHEPHERD: Leon… somewhere in Libya right now a janitor’s working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence Headquarters — he’s going about his job… ‘cause he has no idea that in about an hour he’s gonna die in a massive explosion. He’s just going about his job ‘cause he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You’ve just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

(golf clap) Bravo.

REPORTER CAROL: Can you tell us if she spent the night at the White House or did —

SHEPHERD: Folks, a lot of people got killed last night. Let’s try to keep our eyes on the ball, okay?

Oof — that’s not gonna win you any friends in the press.

NEW Plot Bunny: Ivy League mix-up

RUMSON: (on TV) Mr. Shepherd’s read a lot of books, but it doesn’t take a Harvard degree to see this one comin’ a mile down the road.

SHEPHERD: I went to Stanford, you blowhole!

Oh, hey, you went to Stanford? Great! I don’t suppose you could call them up and tell them to back out of joining the ACC?

NEW Dialogue Motif: On the Mouth™

SYDNEY: Why did I have to kiss him?

BETH: … You kissed him?

SYDNEY: Yeah.

BETH: You didn’t tell me that.

SYDNEY: I kissed him.

BETH: Where?

SYDNEY: On the mouth.

“Ayo, TMI, sister!”

SYDNEY: This has catastrophe written all over it.

BETH: In what language? Sydney, the man is the leader of the free world. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s an above-average dancer…

Gee, it sounds an awful lot like you want to kiss him…

BETH: Answer the phone!

SYDNEY: Alright — but I’m gonna end it on the phone.

(cut to SHEPHERD opening his bedroom door)

SYDNEY: Uh, I just came over here to tell you why I can’t see you anymore.

Well, I guess that didn’t work…

SHEPHERD: Here, lemme take your coat.

SYDNEY: Mr. President, this isn’t gonna work.

SHEPHERD: Well, sure it will, you button the top button, it won’t fall off the hanger…

What kind of weak-ass hangers do you have where that’s necessary?

SYDNEY: Please, Mr. President, don’t pursue me outside the political arena.

SHEPHERD: Well, I have no intention of pursuing you inside the political arena, and that leaves everything out, and that’s unacceptable to me.

Floating opposites, anyone?^{foreshadowing detected}

SHEPHERD: Let’s clear up a couple of things here — number 1, I seldom prance; number 2, I have no intention of engaging in a character debate; and number 3…

Wait, “number 3”? You said “a couple of things”! … Sir.

NEW Dialogue Motif: You raise your voice to X?

SHEPHERD: How much do you make?

SYDNEY: More than you do, Mr. President.

SHEPHERD: The name is Andy. How much money do you make?

SYDNEY: What the hell does it matter how much money I make?!

SHEPHERD: You raise your voice to the President?

Wow, way to entrap her…

NEW Dialogue Motif: Let’s make it the issue

SYDNEY: You know this morning’s press conference isn’t gonna be the end of this. Bob Rumson’s gotta be drooling over this.

SHEPHERD: Are you attracted to me?

SYDNEY: … I beg your pardon?

SHEPHERD: I asked if you were attracted to me.

SYDNEY: That’s not the issue.

SHEPHERD: Well, I tell you what, let’s make it the issue. Let’s try something new, because I know that most couples, when they first get together, are inclined to slam on the brakes because they’re concerned about Bob Rumson’s drool.

Hey, man, hyper-salivation could be an indicator of a serious health issue, she may be right to worry.

SHEPHERD: Last night when we were looking at the different place settings in the dish room, I realized that those place settings were provided by the First Ladies…

Wait a minute… I need to rewind real quick:

SYDNEY: Mr. President — have you ever noticed how similar the Van Buren flatware is to the Buchanan flatware?

Objection — Buchanan was a bachelor! How could Buchanan have flatware in the china room if the contents of the china room were provided by First Spouses? Something’s not adding up here…

SHEPHERD: … and I’ll bet none of those First Ladies were nervous about having sex with their President husbands. Do you know why?

SYDNEY: … No, but I’m sure you’ll explain it to me.

“… in the most patronizing manner possible.”

NEW Plot Bunny: Sudden Relationship Accelerant™

SHEPHERD: Sydney, I’m in no rush. Here’s my plan — we’re gonna slow down, and when you’re comfortable, that’s when it’s gonna happen.

(SYDNEY enters the room in nothing but a men’s dress shirt)

SHEPHERD: … Perhaps I didn’t properly explain the fundamentals of the Slow Down Plan.

Oh, now you get cold feet? … Sir.

SYDNEY: No, you explained it great. (feels the bed)

You know, I’m pretty sure the edge of the bed is going to be more firm than the rest of it. Not really a reliable test there…

SHEPHERD: Are you nervous?

SYDNEY: No.

SHEPHERD: Good. My nervousness exists on several levels. Number 1, and this is in no particular order…

Conversationally anal-retentive much?^{foreshadowing detected}

SHEPHERD: Any… expectations that you might have given the fact that I’m, you know…

SYDNEY: The most powerful man in the world?

SHEPHERD: Exactly, thank you. I think it’s important to remember that’s a political distinction that comes with the office. I mean, if uh… Eisenhower were here instead of me, he’d be dead by now.

Huh? Are you suggesting Eisenhower would die if Annette Bening showed up in front of him half-naked? He’s part of a pretty large club, if so.

RUMSON: Does New Hampshire want the pride back?

Holy shit, what a dumb slogan…

SHEPHERD: Lewis, it is five A.M., you’ve gotta get yourself a life, man.

“Well, I would, but I work for you, sir.”^{foreshadowing detected}

LEWIS: ‘Morning, Mr. President. Hiya, Sydney.

SYDNEY: Hi, Lewis. Well, Mr. President… uh… thanks for taking the time to go over those fossil fuel numbers. I’ll just get my coat, be on my way.

What, is the inability to lie convincingly an STI?

ROBIN: I think the important thing is not to make it look like we’re panicking.

SHEPHERD: See, and I think the important thing is actually not to be panicking.

Ah, so you care what it is rather than what it looks like!^{foreshadowing detected}

ROBIN: We need a diversion.

SYDNEY: A diversion?

ROBIN: You understand by ‘diversion’ I’m not suggesting we burn down the White House.

SHEPHERD: No, please, let’s do!

“It survived it the last time!”

NEW Dialogue Motif: X, don’t X [up to you]

SHEPHERD: Sydney, when you leave here, you’re gonna run into reporters and photographers. They’re gonna take your picture every day, they’re gonna ask you questions every day. Answer them, don’t answer them — it’s entirely up to you. The White House has no official position except to say ‘no comment’.

ROBIN: No comment?

SHEPHERD: The White House does not comment on the President’s personal life.

LEWIS: We can’t just leave it at that, sir.

SHEPHERD: Well, I tell you what, Lewis, we just did.

Well, no, you didn’t, there’s no press in the room to witness your doing so. … Sir.

A.J.: Thank you very much, Mr. President. Come, friends, let us away.

Again with the jazz! Man’s out here improvising a Richard III paraphrase in the middle of a Sorkin work! He certainly knows how to test the limits…

SHEPHERD: I’m sorry about this. We’ll do it better next time.

SYDNEY: Well, I’m no expert, but I thought we did it pretty good this time.

“Ayo, TMI, sister!”

SHEPHERD: (pumps his fist) Alright, okay, this is good.

You were just waiting for her to leave so you could do that, weren’t you? … Sir.

RADIO CALLER: Dan, what about Lucy Shepherd? Is anyone concerned about this little girl? Can we now finally have a serious debate about family values?

Damn you for even suggesting that. Whenever I hear someone spout the term ‘family values’, all I hear is ‘White People for the Preservation of the Nuclear Family’. I have to stop myself from donating money to a polyamorous organization every time I hear it — even I’d run out of money pretty fast.^{foreshadowing detected}

By the way, I suppose it should be noted that the montage here as we see it does not exactly follow the order of how it’s written in the script. This is neither the first nor the last time a montage sequence is rearranged by the director from how it is in the script, though, so I don’t think we need to read too much into it.

STU: Call me Santa Claus, Senator — she’s got an FBI file.

RUMSON: Aw, shit, Stu, my mother’s got an FBI file.

Oh, shit, man, what did your mother do?

NEW Topical Signature: Flag burning

STU: That’s a burning flag — and that’s Sydney Ellen Wade right there in front.

RUMSON: (singing) “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”

Ah, so he’s a George Bush expy, then — pandering to people who get whiny over flag burning.

NEW Sorkin Name: Harry

SYDNEY: Harry, think like a father for a second.

A couple of lines got cut here — first Sydney makes a crack about the Congressman apparently not having slept since they last talked, when he said he’d “sleep on it”. Then David interjects a suggestion that she “ask him about his position on stateboard for Hawaii”.

… Yeah, I have no fucking clue what that means, either.

DAVID: Hey Syd — I, uh, saw on your schedule you’re gonna meet with McSorley, McCluskey, and Shane?

SYDNEY: Yeah, the Motown Three said they’d give me 30 minutes next week.

Something tells me this Motown Three don’t have the Rhythm™ that name implies…

DAVID: Sydney, these are people who represent people who make cars for a living.

SYDNEY: Yeah.

DAVID: Cars, you understand, run on gasoline.

For now!

RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dave/David

^{Previous instances: A Few Good Men; Malice; The American President (again)}

DAVID: You wanna order in?

SYDNEY: Uh, I can’t — I’m having dinner at the White House. Uh, so let’s start early tomorrow morning, say, 7:30?

DAVID: Okay. I’m, uh, having lunch at the Kremlin, so we’ll have to, you know, start even earlier than that.

SYDNEY: Good night, David.

DAVID: In order for me to catch the morning plane to Moscow.

Pinko…

NEW Sorkin Name: Doug(las)

SHEPHERD: Douglas, does the NRA have videotapes of you playing golf with Satan?

You know, honestly, that would be a step up in rhetoric for the NRA…

NEW Plot Bunny: Nobel in economics

SHEPHERD: You know, I studied under a Nobel Prize-winning economist. You know what he taught me?

“That there’s no such thing as a Nobel in Economics?”

LEWIS: Robin sees it as a problem, I see it as an opportunity.

ROBIN: It could’ve been an opportunity if we’d caught it.

LEWIS: We caught it.

ROBIN: At 5:45. Five-forty-five doesn’t do me any good, Lewis. Five-forty-five, network news is in makeup.

I could put that line on a ten hour loop.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Don’t need to be here

SHEPHERD: Guys, do I have to be here for this meeting?

“This could have been an email.”

SHEPHERD: Let me see if I’ve got this — the third story on the news tonight was that someone I didn’t know 13 years ago, when I wasn’t President, participated in a demonstration where no laws were being broken in protest of something that so many people were against, it doesn’t exist anymore.

Well… not in South Africa, anyway.

SHEPHERD: Just out of curiosity, what was the fourth story?

Knowing your luck, it’s probably a story about life on Mars. … Sir.

SHEPHERD: Listen, I feel terrible, but I’mma have to cancel our date tonight.

SYDNEY: Another woman?

SHEPHERD: No, gotta go to St. Louis and avert a massive airline strike.

SYDNEY: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that one…

“… I’d have one nickel — which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it ever happened.”

LEWIS: I tell any girl I’m going out with to assume that all plans are soft until she receives confirmation from me 30 minutes beforehand.

ROBIN: And they find this romantic?

LEWIS: … Well, I say it with a great deal of charm.

You know what, I believe that.

SHEPHERD: I gotta get her flowers.

LEWIS: Here?!

ROBIN: Now?!

SHEPHERD: Well, that’s what men do when they break a date.

ROBIN: That’s not what men do, I know no men who do that.

Sounds like you’re dating the wrong men, then.

SHEPHERD: Hey, I don’t know if you’re the one I talked to on the phone… Virginia, dogwood, President… does any of this ring a —

(flower shop attendant faints)

SHEPHERD: — bell? (beat) Same girl, she remembered me.

That’s how you respond to someone passing out in front of you? No checking to make sure they don’t have a concussion or head wound or anything?

ROBIN: No reaction from the White House.

SHEPHERD: ‘Cause it doesn’t need to be dignified with a response, there’s no upside, I’m leaving it alone.

Oh, so Michael Douglas is a jazz musician now?

SYDNEY: What do Lewis and Robin think?

SHEPHERD: Brutus and Cassius?

Wait, are you saying you’re going to be dead in three months time? Might want to let the Secret Service know that.

NEW Plot Bunny: Sabotaged game of Telephone

SYDNEY: Lewis and Robin are very smart.

SHEPHERD: Sydney says you guys are really stupid.

SYDNEY: I didn’t say that!

SHEPHERD: She’s questioning your loyalty.

“She’s also saying to put the knives down.”

NEW Dialogue Motif: Amway dig

SHEPHERD: Wait a minute, here comes my favorite part.

RUMSON: (on TV) My name is Bob Rumson, and I’m running for President!

SHEPHERD: Sure glad he cleared that up, because that crowd was about to buy some Amway products!

Honestly, Amway has probably been better for the economy than Republican presidents anyway.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Sass accusation

SHEPHERD: You ever been to Camp David?

SYDNEY: (chuckles) Camp David? Sure, I used to go there all the time, but then they changed chefs, and I…

SHEPHERD: It’s sass, right? You’re sassing me.

“You’ve got a nice sass yourself… sir.”^{foreshadowing detected}

(helicopter lands at Camp David)

There’s actually a short scene on the helicopter in the script in which President Shepherd is doing a crossword puzzle while Sydney expresses her amazement at the ride she’s getting. Only cut for time, I hope…

SYDNEY: I’m looking at your college transcripts. This isn’t human. Nobody gets this many A’s. You were like a Stepford student.

Oh, good lord — the man’s the President of the United States and you think he was just basically an automaton in college? That’s either an insult to the man or an insult to Stanford University — or both. (Disclaimer: I got a 4.0 on my undergrad.)

SHEPHERD: Are you still reading that ridiculous biography?

SYDNEY: No, no, I finished “Andrew Shepherd: Road to the White House”, now I’m onto “Shepherd: The Early Years”.

Wait, you’re reading through his life backwards? Actually, come to think of it, how are there multiple biographies of the man when he hasn’t even finished a term as President yet?

SYDNEY: Oh, Andy, C-minus in Women’s Studies?

SHEPHERD: Yeah, well, that course wasn’t about what I thought it was gonna be about.

(sigh) That’s a pair of lines I wouldn’t have minded being cut.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Worry over father hearing

RUMSON: (on TV) I don’t even know what we call her — is she the “First Mistress”?

SYDNEY: Oh, man… my father heard that.

If your father is really watching programs like that, then you should be beyond worrying about what he thinks of you.

SYDNEY: How do you have patience for people who claim they love America but clearly can’t stand Americans?

A question I’ve been asking myself my entire adult life…

SYDNEY: … maybe things would be better for you if I just disappeared for a while.

SHEPHERD: Things will be better when I pass the crime bill — and if you disappeared, I’d find you.

Is that a threat?

(SYDNEY smiles, hugs SHEPHERD)

Apparently she didn’t take it as one…

NEW Dialogue Motif: World gone mad

SHEPHERD: If I’m not mistaken, Gill, the courts ruled on Title IX about 20 years ago.

GILL: Yes sir, but what I’m saying now is these women want that law enforced.

SHEPHERD: It’s a world gone mad, Gill.

Yeah, next thing you know, they’ll be wanting sexual assault laws enforced, too.

ROBIN: Fellas, we haven’t slept in three years. Can’t we forget about work for one night and take this moment to enjoy each other as friends? It’s Christmas.

LEWIS: It’s Christmas?

KODAK: Yeah, you didn’t get the memo?

In the background here, we see Lucy and a couple of other kids at a buffet table. A small exchange between Lucy and those kids got cut, which frankly was a good decision considering how thoroughly out of place the conversation reads (“does he automatically get to be on money?”).

NEW Plot Bunny: Dupont Circle bashing

SHEPHERD: Hiya, Syd. Did you get stuck on DuPont Circle again?

SYDNEY: It’s not funny, I hate that place. Can’t you declare it a Federal Disaster Area or something?

SHEPHERD: I’ll look into it.

A.J.: What were you doing up on the Hill anyway?

Hold on…

Huh?!

SHEPHERD: You went up to see the Motown Three?

SYDNEY: I pitched ‘em the bill.

A.J.: On its merits?

Yeah, she told them to think it o-o-over.

SHEPHERD: The woman knows no fear. She’d lobby the Carolinas for the American Lung Association.

Hey, that’s not fair! Carolina has diversified!

A.J.: Well, you’re in good company. I sat with ‘em a week ago and they said there was nothing on the President’s domestic agenda they were more committed to defeating than the crime bill.

SYDNEY: Well, congratulations, fellas, you’re outta the cellar, because McSorley told me that the only thing on the President’s domestic agenda that they were more committed to defeating than the crime bill was the fossil fuel package.

A.J.: (beat) You’re kidding, aren’t you?

We’ve already established she sucks at lying, man, of course she isn’t kidding.

SHEPHERD: I made a promise, A.J.

A.J.: You made a deal, Mr. President.

SHEPHERD: I made it with Sydney.

A.J.: You made it with the GDC.

At some point, I’ll need to stop just pointing out every musical exchange in this movie…

LEWIS: I’m hearing rumors that your boss is wavering on the crime bill.

AIDE: (chuckles) I wouldn’t listen to rumors, Lewis, you know this town.

LEWIS: That’s what I wanted to hear.

AIDE: I’ll tell you, though, my boss is starting to waver on the crime bill.

Hey, that guy’s gotten a little better about sticking to the script!

LEWIS: Congressman, it was our understanding we had your support.

MILLMAN: Hey, look, I like your boy, always have… but for god’s sake, kid, does the woman have to spend the night?

If this scene seems stilted to you, then it might interest you to note that as written the scene takes place with the Congressman on a treadmill. I suppose that got changed after casting?

RETURNING Sorkin Player: Matthew Saks

^{Character: Congressional aide
Previous appearance: A Few Good Men}

This one is even harder to spot:

KODAK: The President’s coattails are gonna have room for you, Congressman, you just leave that to us.

AIDE (SAKS): We left that to you, Leon, and now the President’s in a free-fall.

Even putting his two appearances side-by-side, it’s hard for me to tell.

SHEPHERD: Delicious, thank you! Is there any more?

SYDNEY: … Tons — I didn’t think you liked it.

SHEPHERD: You kidding? Of course I did! Actually, it’s not for me, the agent who checked the food thought it was delicious, too, I told him I’d bring him some if there was any left.

“‘Course, I gotta resuscitate him first…”

SYDNEY: You’re lying.

SHEPHERD: No, I’m not!

SYDNEY: You are — I can tell when you’re holding something back, you do a thing with your face.

Stunning specificity, once again…

SYDNEY: “Americans can no longer afford to pretend they live in a great society.”

SHEPHERD: Ah, yes.

“Then there was this thing hanging out there…”

SYDNEY: I’ll be proud when I see you sign the bill.

SHEPHERD: Well, yeah…

SYDNEY: (beat) Andy.

SHEPHERD: Yeah?

SYDNEY: You’re doing that thing with your face.

(SHEPHERD’s smile drops)

(cut to OEOB war room)

Wait, what? The scene ends there?! How did he talk himself out of that?!

LEWIS: You’re supposed to be a United States Congressman, for the love of Christ!

“But I’m Jewish, Lewis.”

NEW Verbal Tic: Can I tell you something

LEWIS: Yeah, alright, George, can I tell you something? We’re gonna win this thing. We’re gonna get the votes we need and we’re gonna win this thing, and you know what I’m gonna do after that, I mean that very night? I’m gonna go to Sam & Harry’s, I’m gonna order a big steak, and I’m gonna make a list of everybody who tried to fuck us this week!

ROBIN: Lewis!

LEWIS: Yeah, well, just vote your conscience, you chickenshit lame-ass! (hangs up)

(awkward silence)

LEWIS: We lost Jarrett.

No shit.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Not that X, the other X

SHEPHERD: There’s gotta be three votes someplace!

KODAK: There isn’t.

SHEPHERD: Bullshit! There’s gotta be somebody out there —

KODAK: There isn’t sir.

SHEPHERD: Storch.

KODAK: I beg your pardon?

SHEPHERD: What about Storch?

KODAK: No, Storch is a ‘no’.

A.J.: Mr. President…

SHEPHERD: Wagner.

KODAK: No.

SHEPHERD: Sobel.

KODAK: Nope.

SHEPHERD: Clark.

KODAK: No.

SHEPHERD: Not that Clark, the one from Indiana!

KODAK: That one too, sir.

(SHEPHERD visibly pauses)

Come on, Mr. President, you know more names than that!

NEW Dialogue Motif: “She”/”he” corrected to “it”

SHEPHERD: A.J., she is one vote away. It’s important legislation that for the first time has a legitimate chance. She deserves every opportunity to —

LEWIS: ‘She’? You mean ‘it’, didn’t you, sir? You meant the important legislation deserves every opportunity.

A.J.: Lewis, shut up.

“No, no — he’s got a point.”

RETURNING Verbal Tic: Don’t give a damn

^{Running count: 2}

SHEPHERD: Two hundred and sixty-four million people —

LEWIS: Two hundred and sixty-four million people don’t give a damn about your life, they give a damn about their own!

A.J.: Alright, that’s enough.

LEWIS: Mr. President, you’ve raised a daughter almost entirely on your own, and she’s terrific… so what does it say to you that in the last seven weeks, 59 percent of this country has begun to question your family values?

“That no one knows what the fuck ‘family values’ means anymore, if it ever meant anything.”

LEWIS: They want leadership. They’re so thirsty for it, they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.

SHEPHERD: Lewis, we have had Presidents who were beloved who couldn’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty. They drink the sand because they don’t know the difference.

Holy shit… he really did switch parties.

To whom does that flashlight bit refer, by the way? I cannot for the life of me come up with a president we’ve had in modern times who couldn’t talk their way out of a paper bag but was popular anyway. This was before W., mind you, whose popularity was hardly his own doing anyway.

LUCY: Were you a dork?

SHEPHERD: Practice your music.

LUCY: You know, if you were a dork, you should say you’re sorry! Girls like that.

“For the last time, Luce, she’s not a girl! She’s a WOMAN!”

SHEPHERD: Where are you going?

SYDNEY: I’m going home, then I’m going to Hartford.

SHEPHERD: Connecticut?

Nah, Tennessee, of course Connecticut!

SHEPHERD: What’s in Connecticut?

Hartford.

SHEPHERD: I’ll call him.

SYDNEY: You’ll call him? You mean you’ll call him yourself, personally? It’ll come from the President? That’s a great idea. I think you should call Leo and make a deal. He hires me back for, say, 72 days. I go around scaring the hell out of Congress, making them think the President’s about to drive through a very damaging and costly bill. They’ll believe me, right, ‘cause I’m the President’s Friday Night Girl. Now, I don’t know if you can dip into that well twice, especially since I’ve lost all credibility in politics, but you never know, I might be able to just pull it off again. I might be able to give you just the leverage you need to pass some ground-breaking piece of crime legislation — like a mandatory three-day waiting period before a five-year-old can buy an Uzi. Oh, fuck the sweater, she’ll have to learn to live with disappointment.

God, Annette Bening is so fucking good…

SHEPHERD: Governing is choosing, governing is prioritizing. I made no secret of the fact the crime bill was my top priority.

SYDNEY: Well, then, congratulations, it’s only taken you three years to put together crime prevention legislation that has no hope of preventing crime.

Once again, the crime bill of the decade was passed before this movie started filming — was this line intended as a dig at the real-life thing?

SHEPHERD: Syd, please — I don’t want to lose you over this.

SYDNEY: Mr. President, you’ve got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote.

Wow, she knows what she’s doing.^{foreshadowing detected}

A.J.: Hartford? What’s in Hartford?

Connecticut. Wait…

NEW Dialogue Motif: Head up ass

SHEPHERD: You handling me, A.J.?

A.J.: No, sir.

SHEPHERD: Good.

A.J.: But I will if you don’t start taking you head out of your ass.

Yes, quite the contortionist is the President.^{foreshadowing detected}

SHEPHERD: Am I not an unmarried father who shared a bed with a liberal lobbyist down the hall from his twelve-year-old daughter?

A.J.: Are you think you’re wrong?

SHEPHERD: I don’t think you win elections by telling 59 percent of the people that they are.

Yeah, just ask Mitt Romney.

RETURNING Dialogue Motif: The Unimpressive Demotion™

^{Previous instance: A Few Good Men}

SHEPHERD: Is the view pretty good from the cheap seats, A.J.?

A.J.: I beg your pardon?

SHEPHERD: Because it occurs to me that in 25 years I’ve never seen your name on a ballot, now why is that? Why are you always one step behind me?

A.J.: Because if I wasn’t, you’d be the most popular history professor at the University of Wisconsin.

Unimpressive Demotion Type B: if not for his friend, Shepherd would still be a history professor instead of President of the United States.

SHEPHERD: If we had to go through a character debate three years ago, would we have won?

A.J.: I don’t know… but I would’ve liked that campaign. If my friend Andy Shepherd had shown up, I would have liked that campaign very much.

That’s as close as you’re gonna get to calling him Andy now, huh?

ROBIN: (V.O.) Because the President feels there is no value in this kind of character debate…

Okay, we need to stop here, because an entire scene got cut here that we need to talk about. The scene takes place the morning after the montage in a dining room in the Residence with President Shepherd and Lucy. It starts out with Shepherd attempting to ask Lucy about social studies again over breakfast when he loses his patience over her reticence, at which point a goaded Lucy goes into a rant about how she can’t speak in social studies because she would embarrass her father if she ever said anything that would contradict him. After needing a moment to recover, Shepherd then brings the temperature down by ensuring her she would never embarrass him, a consolation he caps off with the following: “The only thing you have to do to make me happy is come home at the end of the day.”

SOUND FAMILIAR?!

The scene then continues with Shepherd having an epiphany from the conversation that leads him to gain the courage to make the stand he does in the next scene. Let me just be the first to ask:

WHY THE FUCK DID THAT GET CUT?!

Not only does it properly depict the moment Shepherd wakes up from his mental funk, it also provides a proper denouement to the subplot of Lucy’s social studies woes, which just ends up as a dropped thread in the final product. Honest to goodness, I’m actually kind of pissed this scene isn’t in the movie.

You know what? Fuck it. IMPROMPTU SOLO TABLE READ!

ARTHUR: Robin, will the President ever respond to Senator Rumson’s question about being a member of the American Civil Liberties Union?

SHEPHERD: (suddenly entering) Yes, he will.

There, you see? This response comes out of nowhere in the movie without that scene! _{Why the fuck did they cut that, I can’t fucking believe it, I need someone to blame goddammit…}

SHEPHERD: I’ve been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation — being President of this country is entirely about character.

No fucking kidding…^{hindsight detected}

SHEPHERD: For the record — yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is, why aren’t you, Bob?

Well, I can’t speak for Bob, but I can tell you why I’m not a member of the ACLU. I, like every other sensible American, donated to the ACLU in the wake of the 2016 election. I did not renew — and that was on purpose. In June 2017, Michelle Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for the death of Conrad Roy, whom she forcefully encouraged to follow through on his suicidal urges over the phone. In response, the ACLU released a thoroughly tone-deaf statement condemning the conviction, claiming that the conviction violated free speech protections. I lost all patience with the ACLU after that, for reasons that are way too personal for me to go into with this blog. Suffice it to say, I think Carter got off easy. To this day, I’m still waiting for the ACLU to admit they had their head up their ass with that response. Until that day, the ACLU is not getting one fucking dollar from my wallet.

SHEPHERD: Now this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question…

NO IT DOESN’T! You should say either that it ‘raises the question’ or that it ‘begs for the question’! IT DOES NOT BEG THE QUESTION! (devolves into coughing fit)

SHEPHERD: I’ve been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn’t get it. Well, I was wrong — Bob’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t get it, Bob’s problem is that he can’t sell it!

Those of you who have seen this long speech before probably won’t be surprised to hear some lines got cut from it for the final product. (“Nobody has ever won an election by talking about what I was just talking about. … our public schools have been decimated.”) I’ve been waffling back and forth on whether I’d say I miss those lines. On the one hand, they do seem a little out of place; on the other hand, it does bring some more color to what Shepherd says next:

NEW Dialogue Motif: Serious problems, serious people

SHEPHERD: We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them — and whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only — making you afraid of it, and telling you who’s to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections.

The lines that got cut serve as an initial bookend to the final bookend of “how you win elections”, as Shepherd starts out talking through the serious problems that no one wins elections talking about before tying up the section with how elections actually are won (according to him). Does the speech still hold up without the cut lines? Of course! But the cut lines would have maintained more color for the overall message — and this cut isn’t even the last of the changes in this speech from script to shoot.

SHEPHERD: Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interest of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources.

The line here in the script includes an entry for “prosecuting criminals” before representing public school teacher interests — hard to say whether that got cut or if Michael Douglas simply botched the line in a way that still sounded good. I don’t necessarily miss it, either, but it definitely would have made his argument stronger if he had kept it in — particularly since “soft on crime” has been a buzzphrase in this story.

SHEPHERD: I’ve loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other ‘cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job.

Too busy keeping the job to do the job — sounds like my Congressperson (whoever that is at the moment #NClife).

SHEPHERD: You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security…

Yes! Thank you! Why is nobody today saying this?! Guns are a threat to national security! LET’S FUCKING REPEAL THE SECOND AMENDMENT ALREADY!!

SHEPHERD: This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up.

Shepherd’s mind, probably: “I’m about to end this man’s whole career.”

SHEPHERD: My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I am the President.

Ba-da-bop boom — pow.

NEW Dialogue Motif: Whole new ballgame

A.J.: Better call the printer, Lewis.

LEWIS: I know — we gotta rewrite the State of the Union.

A.J: Every word, kid — it’s a whole new ballgame. You have exactly 35 minutes.

LEWIS: Oh, good, I thought I was gonna be rushed.

I don’t know, even with the new rules, I don’t think you can fit a ball game into 35 minutes…

SHEPHERD: I’m going over to her house, I’m gonna stand outside her door ‘til she lets me in, and I’m not leaving ‘til I get her back.

A.J.: And how are you gonna do that, sir?

SHEPHERD: … Well, I haven’t worked that out yet, but I’m sure that groveling will be involved.

“I’ll rub some dirt into my hair, tear my clothes, then weep and wail…”

A.J.: You’re just gonna drive over?

SHEPHERD: A.J., I’m the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful army in the world, you don’t think I can drive ten blocks?

“Well, you see, sir, that’s just a political distinction…”

A.J.: Well… if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the Roosevelt Room… given Lewis oxygen.

Make sure to include some nitrogen in the mix, A.J., otherwise you’re going to poison him.

SYDNEY: I was in my car… it just kind of steered its way over here.

What, were you driving a Tesla?

SHEPHERD: Sydney, I didn’t decide to send 455 to the floor to get you back.

Who’s Chu? … Sorry, force of habit.

LEWIS: Mr. President, you might wanna… hiya, Sydney.

SYDNEY: (with a laugh) Hey.

LEWIS: (a moment’s hesitation) I moved Social Security up front…

JANIE: Mr. President, Leventhal at Treasury wants two minutes. Hello, Sydney.

CHAPRIL: Mr. President — excuse me, Miss Wade — Miss McCall is on her way over, sir.

Ah, that’s such a nice touch — everyone’s treating Sydney like she’s a normal part of their life now. That’s a marked improvement from explicitly calling her an “issue” earlier…

ANCHOR: (V.O.) We’re only a moment or two away from the arrival of President Shepherd and his State of the Union address. George, you’ve served on the staffs of several past administrations…

Good lord, here we go with the renaming again — his name is Lloyd in the script, not George. He’s of no plot importance whatsoever, why change his name? It’s not like there’s a response from the guy, so we can’t chock it up to Ron Canada’s being unavailable.

Some more stuff got cut from the following scene: Shepherd and Lewis have a short exchange where they follow up on their previous heated exchange, then Shepherd catches Lucy reading from the Executive Powers portion of the Constitution — specifically the apropos “from time to time” section — then A.J. encourages the President with, “Give ‘em hell, Andy.”

(sigh) That would have been a nice touch to keep in. I suppose it didn’t make sense to keep the sequence with the other scene getting cut. _{Still can’t fucking believe it got cut…}

NEW Verbal Tic: Walk with me

SYDNEY: Should I stay here?

SHEPHERD: (shakes his head minutely) Walk with me.

“He said the thing!”

SYDNEY: How’d you finally do it?

SHEPHERD: … Do what?

SYDNEY: Manage to give a woman flowers and be President at the same time.

SHEPHERD: Well, it turns out I’ve got a Rose Garden.

I hope that means he remembered the gardener’s name!

Well, I suppose I already kind of spoiled the end of this entry earlier — The American President is among the Sorkin works I consider to be above the rest. Mr. Sorkin built on what he learned from adapting A Few Good Men for the screen and put together an absolutely musical tour-de-force of what his penchant for language can do. The script still does have a few points of awkwardness that mercifully didn’t make it into the final product, but they are fewer than before, which considering the original drafts of the work were over two and a half times the length of what we got shows Mr. Sorkin was developing the skill of self-editing very well. The only thing that could have made things better is if the Lucy breakfast scene had made it into the final cut. _{Why the fuck did it get cut, I’m so fucking pissed…}

Also, this isn’t necessarily relevant to the point of this project, but I still have to say, it’s an absolute fucking crime that Annette Bening did not win an Oscar for her performance in this movie — and I’m not just saying that because of who did win that year. I didn’t have time to point out every single subtlety she introduces into her performance, but there are a great many of them. Even if you’re not into Sorkinese, you should watch this movie for her alone.

Oh! By the way, on the question of who in real life has had the Secret Service codename ‘Liberty’ — if you said Joe Lieberman’s wife, you’re either a cheater or a savant, because you’re correct.

If you liked what you’ve read, then I’d recommend you give that subscribe button what-for so you’ll be notified when the next entry comes out. Coming up next: a New York Renaissance.