Entry 028 - The West Wing 102 (Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc)
In which Latin is exactly as dead of a language as we thought
SERIES: The West Wing
EPISODE NUMBER: 102
TITLE: Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc
PREMIERE: 29 Sep 1999
DIRECTOR: Thomas Schlamme
Now it’s time for the changes to the pilot to come home to roost! Let’s get into it.
MANDY: (V.O.) Previously on The West Wing…
Hmmmmmmmmm, are we sure we want her providing the Previously On™?
MANDY: Are you crazy?!
RUSSELL: Mandy.
MANDY: Have you lost your mind?
Nice projection, Mandy.
STAFFER 1: They offered us a good spot at the nominating convention.
MANDY: Excuse me?
RUSSELL: That’s true — I might nominate the President.
…
MANDY: Lloyd, of course they offered you something good at the nominating convention, they don’t want you to get nominated at the nominating convention!
As screwed over as Mandy’s character got by the changes in the pilot, Moira Kelly still seems capable of letting the music of repetition fly when she lets it.
MANDY: That bill was our coming out party! We were gonna have the stage for a month! It was our Nesun Dorma!
STAFFER 1: What the hell’s Nesun Dorma?
STAFFER 2: It’s an Italian aria by Wagner.
MANDY: It’s Puccini, Wagner’s German, and you’re a moron.
This is a friendly reminder that Aaron Sorkin once mistakenly labelled Verdi as French.
MANDY: I left a job at a top-tier marketing firm where I had stock options to come down here to get this guy elected President, but he went to breakfast this morning and made a deal to bottle up 443 until after the midterm elections, avoiding the national exposure that was our only hope of making any kind of a challenge!
Ah, ha ha, continuity from the pilot — we heard Mandy berating a reporter over the phone on how she fed him the byline on 443, whatever that is. Now it appears it’s come back to bite her.
RUSSELL: You’ll bounce back, you’ve got spunk.
MANDY: (doffing shoe) I’ll kill you with my shoes!
Would you prefer he admired your pluck?foreshadowing detected
RUSSELL: There are very serious men and women at the White House. A blow was struck for party unity this morning. (beat) There’s no cause to gloat.
(cut to White House bullpen)
JOSH: Victory is mine! Victory is mine! Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine.
DONNA: ‘Morning, Josh.
JOSH: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
You know, given what we heard from Josh last episode, we kind of have to question his motivations behind the gloating here. He indicated in the pilot that he would be working to “put an end” to Mandy and Lloyd Russell. Was that his primary motivation behind tanking 443? Or was there another reason or directive that he used to justify what he did? Either way, that level of gloating seems excessive for an act that supposedly put a dent in party unity — even if it was the latter, that his actions also put Mandy out of her job almost certainly added to his glee here, at the least.
Okay, I gotta pause here to note how so obviously MIDI the theme music is for the first few episodes — good god, it’s almost hard to listen to…
TOBY: How does someone decline an invitation for a photo-op with the President?
C.J.: I’m saying this is the kind of luck we’re having.
TOBY: Because of the joke?
C.J.: Because of the joke.
First 443, then A3C3, now The Joke™ — the audience is deliberately kept in obscurity as to what these items actually are. For the purposes of the plot, though, it doesn’t even matter what they are, just that they exist and that our characters know what they are.
TOBY: Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?
LANDINGHAM: The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he’s in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?
TOBY: Sarcasm’s a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.
LANDINGHAM: What age would that be, Toby?
TOBY: Late twenties?
LANDINGHAM: Attaboy.
TOBY: Can I have a cookie?
LANDINGHAM: No.
Serves you right, Toby.
LANDINGHAM: Good morning, Sam.
SAM: Good morning.
LANDINGHAM: Have a cookie, Sam.
SAM: Thank you.
You see? Soft skills go a long way, Toby!
LEO: Mostly, he’s gonna say that the Japanese need to buy more American cars.
BARTLET: Americans need to buy more American cars.
We’ll consider it once American cars stop being demonstrably worse than Japanese cars.
C.J.: Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.
BARTLET: I’ve got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?
C.J.: No.
BARTLET: Me neither.
Well, Mr. President, it sounds to me like it’s a good time to get a new scheduling system.
C.J.: USA Today asks you why you don’t spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it’s ‘cause you don’t look good in funny hats.
SAM: It was ‘big hats’.
C.J.: What difference does it make?
BARTLET: It makes a difference.
Does it, though? Either way it’s a rather half-assed perpetuation of a stereotype, so I don’t think it does.
BARTLET: Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know ‘post hoc, ergo propter hoc’? Josh?
JOSH: Uh, uh, post, after, after hoc, ergo, therefore… after hoc, therefore, something else hoc.
How many takes do you suppose that took? I have a hard time quoting that line without breaking down laughing myself.
BARTLET: We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas?
When you registered as a Democrat?
C.J.: When you learned to speak Latin?
Eh, same thing, I suppose.
NEW Sorkin Name: Nancy
NANCY: Captain Tolliver, can I get you a cup of coffee?
MORRIS: No, I’m fine, Nancy. Thank you.
Does this count as nepotism?
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Walk with me
Running count: 2
LEO: Take a walk with me, will you?
MORRIS: Sure. You look well.
LEO: Well, I’m feeling pretty good. How’s the baby?
MORRIS: Ten days old today.
LEO: You got a picture?
MORRIS: Well, I don’t know, let me see… well, what do you know? (pulls out a picture)
monkaS
NEW Sorkin Name: Terry
NEW Sorkin Name: Wyatt
LEO: I know you were just supposed to be filling in ‘til Terry Wyatt came back, but the President likes you, and he’d like to keep you on if you don’t have any objection.
…
MORRIS: I’m comparatively low-ranked.
LEO: He likes you, Morris. He feels better after he’s talked to you. I think there have been days when you’ve lightened the load a little.
I have to wonder if the President’s rank-blindness was written in as a reference to Martin Sheen’s insistence on greeting extras on the show and including them equally with the main cast. If not, it’s certainly a fantastic coincidence.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Wants to know what we know
DAISY: … Chris Matthews wants to know what we know.
Uh oh — looks like the No Celebrities Were Harmed policy is out the window straight out of the gate. We now know Hardball canonically exists in the West Wing universe.
NEW Sorkin Name: Daisy
DAISY: You lost our only client?
MANDY: I’d like to think of us as a team, Daisy.
…
DAISY: How are you gonna pay me?
MANDY: Can I just say that it’s so typically you to leap to that question at a time like this?
DAISY: It’s not typically me, Mandy. It’s typically my landlord. It’s typically college loans. It’s typically the guy who’s gonna sell me a carton of milk next week.
Good lord, how is this side character getting more musical lines than the woman in this scene in the main credits sequence? Should we be swapping them?
DAISY: What are we gonna do?
MANDY: I’m formulating a plan.
JOSH: You picked Central Indiana State against Notre Dame?
DONNA: Well, technically, you did.
Come on, Donna! Josh is already on the President’s demerit list today.
JOSH: … we need a new media director. I’ve been on talent shows with more polish that some of the events [around here.]
TOBY: [You put on a] talent show?
JOSH: As a kid — listen…
What is this, Our Town?foreshadowing detected
JOSH: Listen, it’s not gonna be Mandy, right?
TOBY: Nope.
So Mandy went from being considered a candidate for Josh’s job to being considered a candidate for the role of a media director — once again, the changes to the pilot had to be made to service this continuation. Also, for someone who explicitly stated he wanted to end the relationship between Mandy and Lloyd Russell, he seems awfully adamant about not having her back in his orbit.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: You think?
Running count: 4
TOBY: Fly in the teeth with it.
C.J.: You think?
TOBY: Be funny — you’re at your best with a pie in the face.
C.J.: I’ve been told that.
TOBY: In fact, I’d hold back. Keep it in your back pocket.
This sequence is our first in a number of sequences where the rest of the senior staff seem incapable of trusting C.J. to do what she does correctly — Toby is basically telling her how to do her job in this moment. She’s been on the job for over half a year at this point, is there really any doubt that she already knows to do exactly what Toby said she should do?
JANET: (into P.A.) Please take your seats, folks. We’re gonna start the briefing.
Season 1 briefing room location entry #1: center upstage left (relative to lobby entrance) — I’m gonna keep track of these.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Bobbi/Bobby
Previous instance: Sports Night (recurring)
C.J.: We got a birthday today, right? Suzanne?
SUZANNE: Bobbi.
C.J.: It’s Bobbi’s birthday!
So C.J. has outsourced her memory to Suzanne. Got it.
MIKE: A short while ago, the Vice President commented on the White House’s position on the A3C3 saying, and I’m quoting from notes, “This is the time when the President needs our support.”
And A3C3 has come back from the pilot as well! This episode is just jampacked with vague jargon!
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Mike
Previous instances: Sports Night 109; The West Wing 101
MIKE: Can you clarify the language?
C.J.: No, I can’t, Mike, I haven’t spoken with the Vice President today.
MIKE: The language seemd strained, doesn’t it?
C.J.: (beat) Strange?
MIKE: Strained.
Nah, I’m sorry, you misheard that on purpose, C.J., I call B.S.
C.J.: I’ll tell you what though, if you consult the morning releases, you’ll see that in the world of sports, the White House just got dissed by twelve guys named Flippy.
What the hell? Your response strategy for golfers’ expressing offense at a joke is to insult them directly? This White House’s sense of humor’s a bit of a high wire act, isn’t it?foreshadowing detected
REPORTER: C.J., does this have anything to do with the joke…
Even the press refers to it as The Joke™ — alrighty…
JOSH: C.J.’s just discovered that Hoynes, in responding to a question on A3’, said, “This is the time when the President needs our support.” Third one in five weeks…
Couple of things to note from this line — for one, we have it established that the senior staff of the West Wing generally view the Vice President as a detriment to their control of the news cycle. For two, Josh referred to him as “Hoynes” rather than “the Vice President”, which indicates either a general disrespect for the man or previous familiarity with the man. Hard to know now which was intended at the time, but it has its effect either way.
SAM: Listen, make sure C.J. keeps this off Leo’s desk.
JOSH: I think it goes right on Leo’s desk.
SAM: A vague quote from Hoynes will disappear by the end of the next news cycle. A fistfight between Leo and the Vice President’s got juice.
JOSH: Fair point.
SAM: Talk to C.J.
JOSH: Yeah, I will.
Exhibit B of a potential lack of confidence in C.J. by others on the senior staff: C.J. theoretically is already aware of the potential dangers of looping in Leo like the others are and should be able to come to the same conclusion, yet Sam seems intent on making sure she does. In isolation it may seem like I’m reading too much into this, but given what we heard from Toby earlier and what comes later in this scene I don’t think we can ignore it.
SAM: Last week, I was out for a late drink, and I met this woman named Laurie, and Laurie and I hit it off, and we spent the evening together back at her place, and the next day I discovered she was a call girl.
Uh, dude? You sure you don’t want to close the door before saying that?
JOSH: Do you want to maybe close the door?
Ope, sorry, didn’t mean to step on you, Josh.
JOSH: Did she know who you are?
SAM: No, I didn’t reveal my secret identity, Josh.
Dude? Josh is asking a serious question here and you’re giving him lip like that? That’s just asinine, man.
JOSH: You want to call her again, don’t you?
…
SAM: I just think I left abruptly, I think it was rude.
JOSH: Oh, you’re gonna try and [sic] reform her, aren’t you?
That Sam chose Josh to be the first person he told about his predicament speaks to a level of connection these two have beyond the confines of their current jobs. That decision appears to have backfired, though, because Josh knows Sam so well he’s able to clock exactly what his friend is aiming to do, as much as Sam tries to deny it. Empty denials, if you ask me…
SAM: You know what, you’d like her if you met her, Josh.
JOSH: You got to promise me that’s never gonna happen, Sam.
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Josh.
JOSH: C.J.! (to SAM) Just talk to Toby — just Toby.
Exhibit C: Josh is making it very clear that he wants Sam to talk to Toby and nobody else. Why is he so insistent on that? The intent appears to be to keep C.J. deliberately out of the loop on the matter. Like with Toby and Sam, Josh evidently doesn’t trust C.J. to do her job, in this case to manage the impending disaster Sam is precipitating.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Looking at my watch
C.J.: Does he have a minute?
STEVIE: We’re leaving for New York.
C.J.: It’ll just be a minute.
STEVIE: I’m looking at my watch.
To time her, or just to admire it?foreshadowing detected
C.J.: I wanted to apologize. Things happen quickly here and in getting everyone on the same page, sometimes people get left behind for a day or two —
…
HOYNES: C.J., it was nice of you to come find me, but I’ve been kept in the loop on AC-cubed.
I’m sorry, what did you just call it? Does that nickname mean A3C3 is supposed to be stylized with the threes as superscripts? I mean, (x^n)(y^n) = (xy)^n, after all. If so, that would seem to imply the actual name of the legislation would be initialized as A.A.A.C.C.C. — but the Vice President’s nickname would confuse matters by making it easy to infer A.C.A.C.A.C. as the actual initialism. … Okay, I’ll shut up.
HOYNES: C.J.?
C.J.: Yes, sir?
HOYNES: I’ve got my own press secretary.
Yikes — C.J. did the smart thing by giving the Vice President the benefit of the doubt, but the man simply runs over her attempts at connecting with him on the matter. We as the audience are being told not to trust this man.
BARTLET: What’s in Jordan?
MORRIS: Amman.
BARTLET: You should stay here — we got Amman, a woman, little kids, the works.
Quality Dad Joke™
BARTLET: Everybody’s a critic today.
No, really, I mean it, sir! Wait, you weren’t talking to me.
BARTLET: What’s my temperature?
MORRIS: Fifty-six degrees.
BARTLET: Fahrenheit?
MORRIS: Yeah, is that not normal?
(BARTLET chuckles)
…
BARTLET: How’d you get her to marry you? Did you trick her or something?
MORRIS: Hypnosis.
BARTLET: Yeah, I figured.
Rank-blind President, indeed — this is quite the report to have with a relatively fresh Navy doctor.
BARTLET: Jokes like that are part of my folksy charm, Morris. It’s at the very heart of my popularity.
MORRIS: Don’t you have a job approval rating of, like, three percent or something?
BARTLET: Well, we’re having some difficulty getting the word out.
Case in point, the President is able to let an insult from the man bounce off of him in a friendly manner.
RETURNING Sorkin Drink: Dewar’s
Previous instance: The West Wing 101
MORRIS: Cut back on red meat?
BARTLET: Yeah.
MORRIS: Dairy?
BARTLET: Yeah.
MORRIS: How about booze?
BARTLET: Yeah, why not? Two Dewar’s on the rocks, Mrs. Landingham.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.
BARTLET: I can sit comfortably with prime ministers and Presidents, even the Pope. Why is it every time I sit with the Joint Chiefs I feel like I’m back at my father’s dinner table?
Maybe you should stop serving food in the Situation Room.
BARTLET: What is that?
MORRIS: It’s a flu shot.
BARTLET: I don’t need a flu shot.
MORRIS: You do need a flu shot.
BARTLET: How do I know this isn’t the start of a military coup?
MORRIS: Sir.
BARTLET: I want the Secret Service in here right away.
MORRIS: In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is gonna be on your side?
BARTLET: (beat) Now that’s a thought that’s gonna fester.
Man, come on, Mr. President, the answer to that question is easy! The Secret Service is part of the Treasury Department, not a branch of the military — so they know who writes their checks.
BARTLET: I’m not comfortable with violence. (beat) I know this country has enemies, but I don’t feel violent toward any of them. I don’t know whether that’s a weakness or not, but I think I know how the Joint Chiefs would answer that question.
MORRIS: Let the Chiefs get to know you, Mr. President. They’re serious men naturally suspicious of your leadership — and that’s what comes from spending a lifetime caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. They’re men of character. They may not like you résumé, but they’ll like you personally if you give it time. (beat) You have a once in a generation mind, sir. Ultimately, they’ll respect that. They’ll advise you well and go where you point. Let the Chiefs get to know you, sir. In the meantime, you outrank them — so don’t worry about it so much…
Damn, I can see why the President likes this guy so much — that’s basically the perfect way to “lighten the load” like we heard from Leo earlier.
BARTLET: Morris?
MORRIS: Yes, sir.
BARTLET: Look at that picture again.
(MORRIS looks at the picture; BARTLET flips his jacket on)
“He did the thing!”
BARTLET: The past isn’t the only thing your family can be proud of.
Checking… yep, I’m still a sap, I love this moment.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Stuart
Previous instance: Sports Night 120
NEW Sorkin Name: Ray
LEO: Mr. President, you remember Stuart White and Ray Finley?
BARTLET: I do, indeed! Mr. White, good to see you. Mr. Finley…
Do you suppose he only remembered their names because Leo just said them?
DONNA: Who do you like, Rocky Mountain College or Purdue?
JOSH: Tell you what, can you give me Yeshiva University over the Dallas Cowboys?
DONNA: If you’re not going to take this seriously —
Have you considered that the reason he’s not taking this seriously is because you’re not?foreshadowing detected
C.J.: Leo will call when he’s ready.
JOSH: Anyone but Mandy.
C.J.: Right.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Résumé recitation
Running count: 10
MANDY: I have a PhD, did you know that?
DAISY: Yes.
…
MANDY: I’ve got a bachelor’s degree in art history, and a master’s degree in communications, and a PhD in political science.
So that’s what art history graduates do!
MANDY: I’m not cold-calling businesses like an encyclopedia salesman.
…
DAISY: Miss Hampton, we are sitting on the stairs drinking wine out of paper cups.
“Bobbin’ and weaving…”
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dan/Danny
Previous instances: A Few Good Men, Sports Night (recurring)
CATHY: Sam Seaborn’s office.
MAN: (over phone) Hi, it’s Danny for Sam.
Is this supposed to be our Danny — the one we see next episode? He doesn’t really sound like it here. Maybe it’s Dan Rydell, and he went to college with Sam Seaborn? No, wait, he went to Dartmouth, never mind.
SAM: I’m done.
CATHY: You sure?
SAM: Yep.
CATHY: You done polishing?
SAM: Yes.
CATHY: You done tweaking?
SAM: I’m done tweaking, I’m done polishing, I’m done. Take it to C.J.
(CATHY starts to leave)
SAM: Wait. (checks speech again) Yes, I’m done. (on CATHY’s look) Really.
Once again, we’re treated to having writers among the main cast of a Sorkin television show, our first glance this time being White House Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn. The process here with Cathy definitely seems well-worn with her being skeptical of his being finished, which either intentionally or unintentionally implies a lot about Mr. Sorkin’s own writing habits. At least Sam didn’t break his nose on this speech.foreshadowing detected
SAM: Can I talk to you a second?
TOBY: Yeah.
SAM: I’ll shut the door.
Good, he learned from last time.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Insistent night job terminology
Previous instance: The West Wing 101
TOBY: You accidentally slept with a prostitute?
SAM: Call girl.
TOBY: Accidentally.
SAM: Yes.
TOBY: (beat) I don’t understand, did you trip over something?
Maybe he slipped on a banana peel?
TOBY: Where did you meet her?
SAM: The Farnsworth.
Invention?
TOBY: Did anyone see you?
SAM: No.
TOBY: You sure?
SAM: Yes — although I was with Billy for a time.
TOBY: Billy who?
SAM: Kenworthy.
TOBY: Bill Kenworthy —
SAM: Yes.
TOBY: — of The Wall Street Journal!
SAM: He sat to talk to me about Josh. It was during the whole Mary Marsh thing, and he got up and left well before —
TOBY: Before you picked up a hooker.
SAM: Call girl.
TOBY: Well, that’s a distinction that’s gonna be very important to the grand jury.
Where Josh looks to consult with Sam as a friend, Toby immediately goes into damage control — which makes sense, considering Toby’s more directly responsible for keeping the President’s public image intact.
SAM: I’d like to call her, just to say that we can be friends, I don’t see the danger in that.
TOBY: No, no, Sam, no, you’re going to try and [sic] reform her?
Okay, apparently I should take back what I said about Josh’s knowing Sam too well — evidently it’s just that Sam is openly transparent to his co-workers.
TOBY: This administration doesn’t even need an opposition party, you know that? We do fine by ourselves.
Airdate: 29 Sep 1999 — after changes upon changes we are more or less the same, eh?
JOSH: Nice job on the Hilton Head draft.
Wait, what? That draft has only been out for, what, two minutes? How has Josh already read the entire thing?!
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Amway dig
Previous instance: The American President
LEO: The dollar is down three cents against the Yen, up two pennies against the Euro. Know what we need more than a media consultant? An economic stimulus package that doesn’t look like it was put together at an Amway rally.
I guess that means they have an opposition Congress?
JOSH: So you’ll let us hire a new media consultant? You’ll let the DNC spend some money?
Wait, what? Using DNC money to fund a White House job? Is that even legal? And after that song-and-dance in the pilot about our tax dollars paying Sam’s salary…
TOBY: Who do we get?
LEO: Mandy.
TOBY: Excellent choice.
JOSH: Yes — wait… what?
SAM: Mandy.
C.J.: Who is recently unemployed, and by the way, I don’t think Josh has gotten enough credit for that.
(C.J. applauds, SAM joins in)
Victory is yours, is it, Josh?
JOSH: Wait, I have certain objections.
LEO: Like what?
JOSH: For one thing, the President’s never gonna go for this.
LEO: Sure he will.
JOSH: How do you know?
LEO: [I already asked him.]
JOSH: [You already asked him.]
Our first proper duet of the show! Here’s to many more!
JOSH: I’m a team player. I think my record is pretty clear on that.
All evidence to the contrary…
JOSH: As long as she understands that she answers to me and she answers to Toby. I don’t want to have to go fifteen rounds with her in the Oval Office.
…
JOSH: You know, I’m gonna draw a chart for her with lines and arrows, clearly indicating that she answers to me and she answers to Toby.
I think Sharpies in the White House have received enough abuse, Josh.
LEO: Did you talk to Hoynes today?
C.J.: Yeah, I talked to him for a minute this morning.
LEO: About A3C3?
C.J.: Yeah.
LEO: I mean about the quote.
C.J.: Yeah.
LEO: And?
C.J.: Miscommunication, he’s on board.
Huh? What is “he’s on board” supposed to mean? Was there ever any doubt that he was going to support the bill? Sure, his motivation for supporting the bill was questionable given the quote, but his being on board in the first place didn’t seem up for debate.
BARTLET: You stole my steaks.
LANDINGHAM: I didn’t steal them. I was simply following the direct orders of Captain Morris Tolliver, M.D., who would like to see your diet contain a little less —
BARTLET: You are a cattle rustler, Mrs. Landingham.
“Whatever you say, Mr. President.”
LANDINGHAM: If you say so, Mr. President.
Eh, same thing.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Not that X, the other X
Previous instance: The American President
DAISY: Christensen?
MANDY: No.
DAISY: Stillwell?
MANDY: No.
DAISY: Crouse?
MANDY: The one from Indiana?
DAISY: Alabama.
MANDY: No.
DAISY: How about the one from Indiana?
MANDY: No.
Fun fact: the Clerk of the US House of Representatives maintains a list of duplicate or similar names of members for each Congress — here’s the list for the current Congress as of this writing. Duplicate names are more common than you probably think!
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Jed
Previous instance: Malice
RETURNING Plot Bunny: Nobel in economics
Previous instance: The American President
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Résumé recitation
Running count: 11
JOSH: Jed Bartlet — Nobel Laureate in Economics, three-term congressman, two-term governor… you guys look like you could use a client. What do you say? You wanna work for the leader of the free world?
Only if you explain how he can have a Nobel Prize that doesn’t exist.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: [Really] [quite] something
Previous instance: Sports Night 109
DAISY: Oh, you don’t know how much we appreciate this, Josh.
MANDY: Oh, it’s not like he’s doing us a favor.
DAISY: You are a good man, Josh.
JOSH: Yes, I really am quite something.
MANDY: I just want to die.
DAISY: We don’t even know how to thank you.
JOSH: The look on Mandy’s face is thanks enough.
First you gloat over getting Mandy fired, then you insist she not get the job you say desperately needs to be created, then you gloat over how Mandy is getting that job from you. Could you make up your mind, my guy?
LEO: How was New York?
HOYNES: Standard and Poor’s going to raise the city’s credit rating.
I tried checking directly but the S&P site requires logging in with an account to view its data, but I indirectly found a press release which reveals that the Fitch credit rating agency upgraded New York City from A- to A in March 1999. Standard and Poor’s would not do the same until September of 2000, just under a year after this episode aired.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: John
Previous instances: The American President; The West Wing 101
LEO: Did you blow off C.J. Cregg this morning?
…
HOYNES: You know what, C.J. doesn’t need to come running to you every time she hits a [bump in the -]
LEO: [C.J. didn’t] come running, John — she covered your ass, she’s a good girl…
Objection! She’s a good woman, not a girl!
LEO: … and when she tells you something, I want you to consider it a directive from this office.
HOYNES: (beat) You want me to consider it a directive from this office?
LEO: Yes.
HOYNES: Well, let me consult Article Two of the Constitution, ‘cause I’m not a hundred percent sure where this office gets the authority to direct me to the men’s room!
I consulted Article II of the Constitution, and Hoynes is… basically right — there’s nothing that explicitly states the Vice President is beholden to the President in any capacity other than as a backup. That, of course, should be colored with the caveat that the office of the Vice President was originally granted to the runner-up in the Presidental election, rather than to an explicit second person on a Presidental ticket — or, to be technically precise, by a election separate from that of the President as performed by the Electors, per the twelfth amendment to the Constitution.
HOYNES: Leo, I have had it up to here, with you and your pal!
Uh oh.
LEO: “Me and my pal”?
HOYNES: Yes.
LEO: You are referring to President Bartlet?
HOYNES: Yes!
LEO: Refer to him that way!
The Vice President here has committed the cardinal sin of The West Wing: referring to the President in any way other than “sir” or “President”. Given the President-Vice President relationship herein was supposedly modelled after that of JFK and LBJ, I have to wonder if Johnson ever did the same of his President.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: The Unimpressive Demotion™
Previous instances: A Few Good Men, The American President
LEO: Don’t do what you’re doing, John.
HOYNES: You’re a world-class political operative, Leo. Why the hell shouldn’t I keep on doing what I’ve been doing?
LEO: ‘Cause I’ll win, and you’ll end up playing celebrity golf for the rest of your life.
Haven’t had one of these in a while! Unimpressive Demotion Type A: publicly combating the President would demote John Hoynes to a celebrity golf mainstay.
HOYNES: How long do you expect me to stick around here and be his whipping boy?
LEO: Give this President anything less than your full-throated support, and you’re going to find out exactly how long.
Does this count as foreshadowing?
SAM: I’m looking for Laurie.
WOMAN: I don’t know anyone named Laurie.
SAM: Laurie’s not her real name.
WOMAN: Laurie’s not her real name?
SAM: Actually, Laurie is her real name, the name you know her by is not her real name. I saw her with you the other night.
WOMAN: (beat) Oh, yeah, I remember you.
SAM: Ah, more good news for Toby.
WOMAN: What?
SAM: Nothing.
Come on, Sam, I’m sure there are women who find grand juries sexy! Granted, I’m aro-ace, so I have no fucking clue either way…
RETURNING Verbal Tic: How ya doin’
Running count: 18
SAM: How ya doin’?
MAN: Hi.
…
SAM: I hope you don’t mind my barging in like this, it’s just that I’ve known this girl my whole life.
WOMAN: How do you know Brittany?
SAM: Who’s Brittany?
LAURIE: I am.
SAM: Okay.
Hoo, boy — as embarrassed as Laurie definitely is, her client almost definitely feels seen by that trip-up on names.
SAM: I don’t mean to interrupt. I’ll just go back to the bar and call my friend, the Assistant U.S. Attorney General, and see if he wants to come down and meet for a drink with me and that woman back there.
And if he didn’t before, he certainly does now!
LAURIE: I left my coat at the table, I can’t go back there.
SAM: If I cost you some money, I’ll write you a check.
What the fuck, Sam?!
LAURIE: You go to hell for saying that.
SAM: I wasn’t —
(LAURIE starts walking away; SAM realizes what he said)
SAM: I’m sorry, that was the wrong thing to say.
You think?
RETURNING Verbal Tic: From time to time
Running count: 5
LAURIE: By the way, the Attorney General has no jurisdiction here.
SAM: Are you —
LAURIE: I break the law in the district; I break the law in Maryland; and from time to time, I break the law in Pennsylvania.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: In my [entire] life
Previous instances: Malice; Sports Night 113
LAURIE: In my life, I have never committed a federal crime, which is more than I can say for some people in your line of work.
Quick fact check indicates Laurie is correct — which is good, considering her character is established to be a law school student. Prostitution technically is not explicitly illegal under federal law, only actions surrounding prostitution which involve human trafficking or any sort of force, fraud, or coercion. Laurie’s line of work involves none of those things — though one could technically argue she was financially coerced into prostitution due to education funding’s being a joke in the United States, but best not to let that line of thought consume us… especially now.
SAM: So I had a pretty good day.
LAURIE: (beat) Congratulations.
SAM: I feel like more and more I’m playing a role in policy discussions…
What? You’re only just now feeling you have a substantive role in policy discussions? You’re the White House Deputy Communications Director, you had that position straight after inauguration, and the administration is over half a year old at this point — what makes you think you haven’t had a substantive role this whole time?
LAURIE: I don’t need saving, Sam.
Okay, yeah, Sam is just an openly transparent character across the board — his intent is immediately read not just by two of his co-workers but by a woman who hasn’t even known him for a month yet. One of those heart-on-his-sleeve people, I guess…
LAURIE: You’re gonna try and [sic] change me, arguing, asserting a position every time [I turn around —]
SAM: [I’m a lawyer and a] speechwriter. I argue for a living…
No kidding!
SAM: … and I’m sought after because I’m good at it.
Are you, though? We haven’t exactly seen that yet…
LAURIE: You humiliated me back there — and you scared me. You understand that?
SAM: Yeah.
LAURIE: (beat) And?
SAM: I guess that’s just the way it goes.
Alright, it’s time to do it — I’m starting a hashtag now: #SamSeabornIsAnAsshole
I mentioned in my entry for the pilot how pretty much every character in The West Wing uses snark like it’s going out of style, but in the case of Sam Seaborn many times that snark crosses the line into being straight up mean. Other characters’ snark can be excused as ribbing or genuinely deserved backtalk, but Sam often comes across as a complete dick in his snarkiness — hence this hashtag that I guarantee you will come up quite often as we go through the first three and a half seasons of this show.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Shut up => okay
Running count: 2
LAURIE: You wanna buy me a drink?
SAM: I have to say, that sounded very professional to me.
LAURIE: Shut up.
SAM: Okay.
Deserved.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Now they tell me
Previous instance: Sports Night 102
LAURIE: So you’re gonna reveal state secrets?
SAM: To be honest with you, I don’t really know any state secrets.
LAURIE: Now he tells me.
(beep) Sarcasm Self Test complete! (beep)
JOSH: So they’ll be in position in two hours?
OFFICER 1: And they’d be backed up by a second carrier group, plus the F-14s off the George Washington and the Carlston.
LEO: How long before an estimated BDA?
OFFICER 2: Ten minutes.
WARNING: CONTINUITY ERROR DETECTED!!
I’m guessing Mr. Sorkin had yet to write the next episode by the time this episode was being shot? Otherwise, the fact that retaliation plans are already being discussed herein makes no sense, considering what happens — or, to be more accurate, what doesn’t happen — next episode. Frankly, it probably would have sufficed not to have this scene at all.
JOSH: Leo — you need me?
LEO: No.
Actually, come to think of it, too, what is Josh doing in this war room? We establish later on that his job role typically is limited to domestic matters, so his presence here is theoretically a continuity error as well. We have multiple strikes against this scene here.
Oh, shit, and Toby and Sam are there as well? What in the hell…
LEO: Mr. President, Morris Tolliver is dead.
“We found him in an helicopter hanger in Jersey — wait, wrong show.”
LEO: What was first thought to be a mechanical failure was then claimed by a fundamentalist group after a keyhole satellite sent back a record of a heat stream coming from what’s called an FIM-92, which is a shoulder-mounted surface-to-air missile launcher.
Was that recovered from Afghanistan?foreshadowing detected
LEO: In the last 90 minutes or so that’s been debunked as well. Hard intelligence is telling us the order came from the Syrian defense ministry.
What is it with fundamentalist groups trying to take credit for attacks they didn’t perform, anyway? I know we’re told that terrorist groups are simply intent on perpetuating terror, but surely those groups know well at this point that the American military makes the idea of “can’t strike a non-national power” a fairly well debunked claim. If the group didn’t perform the act in the first place, then they almost certainly didn’t prepare for retaliation from that act, so taking credit for the act really seems like knee-jerk dumbassery.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Lennox
Previous instance: The West Wing 101
LEO: Baker and Lennox are on their way from the Pentagon, and Brodie’s in the Situation Room preparing for your briefing.
Who? I’m so used to the rest of this series, that this trio of names throws me off — everywhere else the trio is Cashman, Hutchinson, and Berryhill. The early installment weirdness continues.
BARTLET: I am not frightened. I’m gonna blow them off the face of the Earth with the fury of God’s own thunder.
Uh oh — looks like the President is looking to overcorrect on his discomfort with violence. What a way to cliffhanger the episode, eh?
So what shall we say about this episode? Much like with Sports Night, I’d say it takes more than just the pilot to establish a series, except in this case I’m actually pleased with the result. Where tonal inconsistency marred Sports Night early on, The West Wing very naturally balances its moments of humor with its moments of dead seriousness — primarly because we’re not being told when to laugh, but also because the episode is given twice as much time to establish itself and therefore doesn’t have to rush tonal changes. As far as the actual plotlines, this episode also theoretically serves to shift the focus of the show away from just on the senior staff to a split between the senior staff and the elected officials they serve, as the President’s moral arc and the Vice President’s political arc are given considerably more charge than the continuing disappointment of Sam’s borderline childish actions and Mandy’s character rewrite’s becoming fully realized. It’s largely natural for viewers to feel that imbalance starting out, as I suspect Mr. Sorkin at that point was just starting to get the hang of balancing out the two — early installment weirdness is to be expected.
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