Entry 030 - The West Wing 103 (A Proportional Response)
In which a potent question is answered four years later
SERIES: The West Wing
EPISODE NUMBER: 103
TITLE: A Proportional Response
PREMIERE: 6 Oct 1999
DIRECTOR: Marc Buckland
I’ve already referred to our favorite production triumverate — Sorkin, Schlamme, and Walden — and did so because the trio headlines the production of both Sports Night and The West Wing. They are, of course, not the only production people shared between the two shows. To wit, straight from the first episode not directed by Mr. Schlamme we have ourselves a director who previously directed on Sports Night: Marc Buckland, of “How Are Things In Glocca Morra?” fame. He is the first, but he is most definitely not the last.
Fittingly enough, the episode he directs represents the most pointed similarity between The West Wing and its Sorkinese spiritual predecessor The American President. That similarity, of course, is not the only big note to the fugue that is this episode — and we need look no further than the opening credits to find the other big note. Let’s get into it.
C.J.: (V.O.) Previously on The West Wing…
Oh, and also the Previously On™ is better assigned this go around!
DONNA: C.J.’s looking for you.
JOSH: Donna?
DONNA: Yeah?
JOSH: “Good morning, Josh” is a pretty good way to start the day.
What the hell is with people who say shit like this? You’re very clearly not going to get a greeting that isn’t at least in part sarcastic after demanding the greeting, so just move past it. Don’t make me set my chat status to nohello.com again, folks.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: You say that now
Previous instances: Sports Night 114, 119
JOSH: What did I do?
DONNA: How would I know?
JOSH: ‘Cause you know everything.
DONNA: I do know everything.
JOSH: Donna —
DONNA: I’m saying you say that now, but any time I want to make a substantive contribution —
JOSH: You make plenty of substantive contributions.
DONNA: Like what?
JOSH: This! This could be a substantive contribution.
Sources point to no, Josh.
NEW Dialogue Motif: Best time to X
DONNA: I need a raise.
JOSH: (beat) So do I.
DONNA: You’re my boss.
JOSH: But I’m not the one who pays you.
DONNA: Yeah, but you could recommend that I get a raise.
JOSH: Donna, she’s looking for me. Do you really think this is a really good time to talk about a raise?
DONNA: Hmmm, I think this is the best time to talk about a raise.
This is what you get for demanding the ‘good morning’, Josh.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: The Dentist Lie™
Previous instance: The American President
JOSH: Okay, here’s what I’m gonna do.
DONNA: Hide in your office?
JOSH: No, I’m not gonna hide in my office, I’m gonna go into my office and devise a strategy. That is what I do. I’m a professional. I’m not a little boy.
DONNA: Hmm, that’s the spirit.
JOSH: But if she calls, I’m at the dentist. I’ll be back in an hour.
“My teeth are the best friends I got, after all.”foreshadowing detected
C.J.: Wow, are you stupid!
Careful, C.J., he may demand you say ‘good morning’ first.
Oh, and hey, look at that! We got a new name in the opening credits! It’s a good ol’ fashioned credits spoil!
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Here’s the thing
Running count: 15
C.J.: A call girl?
JOSH: Here’s the thing —
C.J.: A call girl, Josh?
JOSH: You’re not asking me if I’d like a call girl right now are you?
Don’t get cute with her, Josh.foreshadowing detected
JOSH: A couple of things for you to bear in mind — first of all, he didn’t know that she was a call girl when he slept with her. He did not pay her money. He didn’t participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal — or for that matter, unethical, immoral, or suspect.
You just said three words that all mean the same thing.foreshadowing detected
JOSH: You’re overreacting.
C.J.: Am I?
JOSH: Yes.
C.J.: As women are prone to do?
JOSH: That’s not what I meant.
C.J.: Yes, it is.
JOSH: No, it isn’t.
C.J.: It’s always what you mean.
JOSH: You know what, C.J., I really think I’m the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksta feminista! (beat) Whoa, that was way too far.
C.J.: No, no. Well, I’ve got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-Dean’s-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass!
JOSH: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J.: I’m a whole new woman.
I think it may be worth going back to the pilot script for a moment to point out a note in a stage direction referring to the senior staff as they enter Leo’s office for the first time: “This is a close, if sometimes acrimonious group with Leo a leader much respected.” The qualifier of occasional acrimony makes for an interesting twist on the Sorkin throughline of work family being on equal with if not higher footing than blood family that we’ve previously established with Sports Night — though, arguably, that note of acrimony is also present in Sports Night as well, it just isn’t explicitly verbalized in that show’s pilot script like it is for The West Wing. Also established with that stage direction, of course, is the trope of the well-respected benevolent boss over a motley crew, which we’ll see further established later in this episode.
JOSH: How was last night?
TOBY: The longest dinner of my life — the President was up from the table every five minutes teeing off on Cashman and Berryhill. He’s barking at the Secretary of State; he’s scaring the hell out of Fitzwallace, which I didn’t think was possible; he’s snapping at the First Lady; he’s talking about blowing up half of North Africa.
A lot to unpack with this line — let’s get started. For one, here we have ourselves the first instance of “Cashman and Berryhill”, a pair of names whose presence in the show (at least for the Sorkin years) is solely in name only, but make for quite the musical motif everytime we hear them. For two, this line establishes Toby as being in a close enough relationship with the President to dine with the man, which has some interesting implications considering Josh isn’t established the same way despite their ostensibly equalivalent ranking. For three, we firmly establish as I mentioned in the entry for the last episode that the scene with the military personel in the Roosevelt Room definitely was a continuity error, as the BDA brought up in that scene has clearly never materialized if the President is still chewing out his Chiefs as Toby indicates.
Side note: why North Africa? Syria is in the Middle East, not North Africa. Did we just experience this show’s equivalent of J.J.’s refering to South Africa as a Third World country?
JOSH: C.J., this might be a good time to tell the President about Sam and the call girl.
TOBY: She knows?
JOSH: Yeah.
C.J.: Yes, I’m afraid I have that information now, and I’ll be in to see you, my friend, very shortly.
TOBY: How the hell did I get into trouble?
JOSH: Today, all you had to do was get out of bed.
Oh, please — you two know exactly what you did wrong. You deliberately left C.J. out of the loop on a potential public image problem — and don’t claim it was an accident, because Josh specifically told Sam to talk to “just Toby”.
LEO: Cashman and Berryhill have to revise the response scenario so that they speak to State —
BARTLET: Cashman and Berryhill are dragging their feet. Cashman and Berryhill are trying to make me look like a clown.
See what I mean about the music of “Cashman and Berryhill”? I’m almost tempted to have a counter for just that name pair.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Whatever it is you do/did
Previous instance: A Few Good Men
LEO: And not to pile on, but Cashmen and Berryhill have a reasonable point with respect to the Security Council.
BARTLET: Uh, Mrs. Landingham, I can’t seem to find my glasses anywhere. Can you please do whatever it is you do when I can’t find my glasses?
Start the clock, folks, let’s see how long it takes for his glasses to be found.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: “She”/”he” corrected to “it”
Previous instance: The American President
BARTLET: It’s been 72 hours, Leo. That’s more than three days since they blew him out of the sky — and I’m tired of waiting, damnit, this is candy ass! We are going to draw up a response scenario today, I’m going to give the order today, we’re going to strike back today.
LEO: I wish you wouldn’t say ‘him’, Mr. President.
BARTLET: What?
LEO: “Three days since they blew him out of the sky” — of course, that’s fine while it’s just you and me sir, but in there with Fitzwallace and the Chiefs, I hope you say ‘it’ or ‘the airplane’, not ‘him’.
Leo serves as a filter, part 1: Leo ensures the President doesn’t make an ass of himself with his word choice in the presence of the Joint Chiefs.
JOSH: How’s his mood?
LEO: “How’s his mood”?
JOSH: Yeah.
LEO: Don’t worry about it.
C.J.: Toby said [that he was snapping —]
LEO: [And I said] don’t worry about it.
Leo serves as a filter, part 2: Leo shields his senior staff from the emotional drama of the President and the Joint Chiefs. The filtering performed by Leo here establishes the parallel of his character with that of Isaac Jaffee, who similarly made an effort to shield his staff from the corporate politics above his head.
NEW Dialogue Motif: There is a law against it
SAM: Congressman Bertram Coles appearing on a radio program in his home district.
…
TOBY: What’d he say?
SAM: He was on the broadcast along with several officers from Cromwell Air Force Base when he said regarding the President [sic] being weak on defense, “Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. The President better not be planning on making any visits to this base. If he does, he may not get out alive.”
TOBY: (beat) He said that?
LEO: You believe it?
TOBY: Sitting with military officers.
SAM: Yeah.
JOSH: Don’t take the bait.
TOBY: Josh.
JOSH: Don’t take the bait.
TOBY: You better believe I’m going to take the bait.
JOSH: Toby.
LEO: There oughta be a law against it.
TOBY: There is a law against it!
JOSH: Why’d you get him started?
(LEO shrugs)
This seems like a dangerous precedent to set, openly baiting the White House Communications Director into getting stark-raving mad at largely inconsequential matters…
TOBY: How about threatening the life of the President? He was talking to other people, how about conspiracy? There were military officers, how about treason?!
JOSH: Toby —
TOBY: That was a member of our own party, Leo, that was a Democrat who said that!
Never mind, I can see why they do it, the man’s very entertaining.
LEO: What are you gonna do?
TOBY: Have the Justice Department bring him in for questioning pending felony charges.
JOSH: Toby’s right. What’s the good of being in power if you’re not gonna haul your enemies in for questioning?
Airdate: 6 Oct 1999 — IT WAS A JOKE, YOU ORANGE IDIOT
NEW Dialogue Motif: There is no law
TOBY: We’re really not gonna do anything about this?
LEO: Yeah, Toby, ‘cause what we really need to do is arrest people for being mean to the President.
TOBY: There is no law. There is no decency.
I just came so close to engraving that line…
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: You and me both
Previous instances: Sports Night 117, 119
LEO: Toby, start working on a draft for the President.
TOBY: I need to know what we’re hitting.
LEO: Yeah, you and me both.
TOBY: Leo?
LEO: It’s military, Toby, you’ll know when you know.
You know, I’d imagine most White House speechwriters would be able to write a speech for the occasion with just an “[insert targets]” block until they knew the targets, so Toby’s asking here seems rather superfluous. We get a Sorkinism out of the exchange, though, so I won’t keep a bull pup.
TOBY: Sam, work with the coordinating State Department guy.
SAM: Beech.
TOBY: And whoever the spokesperson is.
SAM: Hutchinson.
Woah, hey, what? Hutchinson is a spokesperson? For State? Please tell me this was an unintentional mistake rather than just laziness.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Not much chance [of that]
Previous instance: Sports Night 112
LEO: Let’s do this right.
JOSH: Not much chance of that.
Your confidence is overwhelming, Josh.
JOSH: We should get McMartin on board.
C.J.: He’s standing by.
JOSH: And Adamley at the Pentagon.
So many names getting thrown out — I wonder how many of them we’ll actually meet?
C.J.: Oh, Samuel…
Uh oh.
SAM: Think she knows?
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
MIKE: Did you guys hear what Bertram Coles said on the radio?
TOBY: Yeah.
BOBBI: And?
TOBY: Secret Service investigates all threats made against the President. It’s White House policy not to comment on those investigations.
MIKE: Are you telling me there’s going to be a criminal investigation?
TOBY: (beat) I really can’t comment on that right now.
Okay, hear me out: could Toby’s actions here be considered a proportional response? His initial desire to fight back with hard criminal charges got shot down from his colleagues, so he decides to take the quieter approach of baiting the press into lighting a fire under Coles’s ass for him. Whether intentionally or not, it makes for an interesting parallel to what we see of the President later in this episode.
C.J.: I think the thing to say is that we don’t think anybody here would be disappointed if no one paid attention to the process, so maybe the thing will wear itself out.
STAFFER: This is on agriculture?
C.J.: Science and technology.
We the audience have no idea what C.J. is talking about here — and that’s on purpose. This throw-away conversation simply serves as a piece of Verisimilitude Theatre that establishes things still go on in the White House beyond what we explicitly see developed through each episode. The effect is not something we get in Sports Night since everyone’s focus there is practically monomaniacal, but as we’ve learned previously (and will hear again) the White House doesn’t have time to do only one thing at a time.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Let me tell you something
Running count: 8
SAM: You wanted to see me.
C.J.: Yes.
SAM: I think I know why.
C.J.: Do you?
SAM: Yes, look —
C.J.: You sussed it out, huh?
SAM: C.J. —
C.J.: Let me tell you something, Sam, you’re a smart guy, but if you could figure it out, and I could figure it out, what makes you think there’s no one in my Press Room who could figure it out?
We got a lot of repetition of threes going on in this episode, don’t we?
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Don’t get cute
Previous instances: A Few Good Men; The West Wing 101
C.J.: You can’t spend time with a call girl, Sam, you’re gonna get caught.
SAM: Caught? Doing what?
C.J.: Don’t get cute with me.
“— you Brat.”
SAM: I’m friendly with a woman, I like this woman. This woman poses no threat to the President, and it’s very likely that owing to my friendship, this woman may start living her life inbounds, ensuring for herself a greater future, and isn’t that exactly what we’re supposed to be doing here?
C.J: Oh…
SAM: C.J. —
C.J.: I see.
SAM: This is ridiculous.
C.J.: You’re there to help her see the error of her ways.
Damn, Sam really is easy to read like a book, isn’t he?
SAM: I’m there because I like her. I’m there because it’s there that I’d be if this were alcohol or drugs.
I gotta say, the energy he puts into this line aside, I don’t think I’d trust Sam Seaborn to do a proper intervention.
NEW Plot Bunny: Care what it looks like vs. care what it is
C.J.: I don’t care what it is, I care what it looks like.
SAM: And I care what it is! And I think it’s high time we all spend a little less time looking good, and [a little more time —]
C.J.: [A little more time] being good?
SAM: Yes.
C.J.: Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.
Yeah, it’s almost like C.J. has some experience to back up her having a job as the White House Press Secretary. Who woulda thunk it?
SAM: I’m resenting the hell out of this conversation right now.
#SamSeabornIsAnAsshole
C.J.: I’m your first phone call.
SAM: When?
C.J.: Before, now, in the future, anytime you’re into something and you don’t know what — and you can’t tell me that you thought there was nothing to it, ‘cause you sat down with Josh and you sat down with Toby — anytime you’re into something and you don’t know what, you don’t keep it from me. I’m your first phone call. I’m your first line of defense. You have to let me protect you, and you have to let me protect the President.
Preach it, sister!
C.J.: … you’re a high profile, very visible, much noticed [member —]
SAM: [You just said] three things that all mean the same thing.
You’re a speechwriter, Sam, you do that shit all the time!
SAM: Can I go now, C.J.? Because what I think it’s about is you — once again letting the character cops win in a forfeit because you don’t have the guts or the strength or the courage to say, “we know what’s right from wrong and this is none of your damn business!”
#SamSeabornIsAnAsshole
C.J.: Strength, guts, or courage?
SAM: Yes.
C.J.: (pause) You just said three things that all mean the same thing.
FITZWALLACE: You know what I was just thinking?
OFFICER: What’s that, Admiral?
FITZWALLACE: This is different coffee that we usually have.
Is that really supposed to be foreshadowing like some people say it is? It seems too incredibly random to me to be anything other than another piece of Verisimilitude Theatre.
RETURNING Plot Bunny: The virtue of a proportional response
Previous instance: The American President
FITZWALLACE: All three scenarios are comprehensive, meet the obligations of proportional response, and pose minimum risk to American personnel and assets. Scenario one, or Pericles One, to use its code name, sir —
BARTLET: What is the virtue of a proportional response?
Somewhere in Libya, a janitor’s widow just shed a tear.
NEW Dialogue Motif: The cost of doing business™
BARTLET: It’s what we do, I mean this is what we do.
LEO: Yes, sir, it’s what we do. It’s what we’ve always done.
BARTLET: Well, if it’s what we do, if it’s what we’ve always done, don’t they know we’re going to do it?
LEO: Sir, if you turn your attention to Pericles One —
BARTLET: I have turned my attention to Pericles One — it’s two ammo dumps, an abandoned railroad bridge, and a Syrian intelligence agency.
FITZWALLACE: Those are four highly rated military targets, sir.
BARTLET: But they know we’re going to do that, they know we’re going to do that. Those areas have been abandoned for three days now. We know that from the satellite, right? We have the intelligence.
LEO: Sir —
BARTLET: They did that, so we did this. It’s the cost of doing business, it’s been factored in, right?
You know… he’s actually got a point, as morbid as it is. I already mentioned in my entry for the previous episode how stupid it is for terrorist organizations to take credit for an attack they didn’t perform because they wouldn’t have prepared for the retaliation, which is something that almost certainly wouldn’t be a problem for the actual agent of the attack. You plan for the attack and you plan for the counterattack in the same breath, and you’re able to do that because the rules of counterattack are well established.
BARTLET: Am I right or am I missing something here?
FITZWALLACE: No, sir, you’re right, sir.
BARTLET: Then I ask again, what is the virtue of a proportional response?
FITZWALLACE: It isn’t virtuous, Mr. President, it’s all there is, sir.
BARTLET: It is not all there is.
LEO: Sir, Admiral [Fitzwallace —]
FITZWALLACE: [Excuse me], Leo — pardon me, Mr. President, just what else is there?
BARTLET: The disproportional response — let the word ring forth from this time and this place, gentlemen, you kill an American, any American, we don’t come back with a proportional response, we come back with total disaster!
Boy, you just had to ask, Fitz…
GENERAL: Mr. President, are you suggesting we carpet-bomb Damascus?
BARTLET: I am suggesting, General, that you and Admiral Fitzwallace and Secretary Hutchinson and the rest of the national security team take the next sixty minutes and put together an American response scenario that doesn’t make me think we are just docking somebody’s damn allowance!
Good job, Mr. President, I’m sure that ask isn’t something you’ll come to regret.sarcasm detected
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Charlie
Previous instances: The American President; Sports Night (recurring)
JOSH: Josh Lyman, deputy chief of staff.
CHARLIE: How are you?
JOSH: Is it, uh, Charles?
CHARLIE: Charlie.
JOSH: Charlie, you can have a seat if you like.
CHARLIE: I don’t mind standing.
Uh oh — are we going to get another five rounds of “siddown” like we had with Dana and Isaac?
JOSH: So have a seat.
(CHARLIE sits)
Oh, good, we aren’t — crisis averted.
JOSH: I’m sure you understand why we have to go through this. It’s a very sensitive job. It’s also a very hard job. Twenty hour days aren’t uncommon, long trips at the last minute, a lot of wait and hurry up. Moroever there will be times when you’ll have to make yourself invisible in plain sight, as well as an undeniable force in front of those who want more time than we want to give. Sometimes the people I’m talking about will be kings and prime ministers, you understand so far?
And now we understandly have the look of Information Overload™ on Charlie’s face…
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Don’t call me sir
Previous instance: A Few Good Men
CHARLIE: … I came here, I was looking for a job as a messenger.
JOSH: Yes.
CHARLIE: And I had an inverview with Miss DiLaguardia and she told me to wait.
JOSH: Yes.
CHARLIE: And then she told me to come here.
JOSH: Yes, that’s ‘cause we asked Miss DiLaguardia to keep an eye out. She’s recommending you for a different job.
CHARLIE: Sir, if you don’t mind me [sic] asking —
JOSH: Personal aide to the President, and you don’t have to call me ‘sir’.
…
CHARLIE: S-sir, I —
JOSH: Seriously, Charlie, we call the President ‘sir’, everyone else is ‘hey, when am I gonna get that thing I asked for’.
You know… there’s something to be said about the racial dynamics of this conversation. Charlie feels a little out of his element and is falling back on what White society expects of laymen addressing people in positions of authority. Josh tries to convince him otherwise, but by and large Black people are loathe not to maintain at least some sliver of formality on the off-chance the White person they’re addressing decides to blow it back in their face if they don’t. It’s certainly subtly done here so I’m probably reading too much into it, but any more force on the subject from Josh and there could potentially be an intermediary period of “Mr. Josh” — which I’m sure would have made Josh immensely uncomfortable.
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: Misspelling sarcasm
Previous instance: Sports Night 106
CHARLIE: See, that’s not… see, there’s been a mistake.
JOSH: (reading) I’ll say — Donna!
CHARLIE: I should go. (stands)
JOSH: “Insuccessful”?
DONNA: What’s the problem?
JOSH: I don’t think we’re allowed to make up our own words.
DONNA: Oh, and like there’s no chance it’s a typo.
JOSH: Change it, would you? Serious people are going to read that.
The White House, worrying about serious people reading what they write — boy, those were the days…
JOSH: Why aren’t you in college?
…
CHARLIE: Well, I-I have a little sister at home.
JOSH: You take care of her?
CHARLIE: Yes, sir.
JOSH: Your parents are gone?
CHARLIE: My mom, she’s a police officer. She was shot and killed on duty a few months ago — five months ago.
In Charlie’s character introduction’s getting delayed two episodes, his backstory received a rewrite as well: where Charlie was originally written in the pilot script as taking a year off Georgetown for a White House gig, Charlie instead is forgoing college and aiming for a pay-by-the-week job because he has a sister at home to care for. Excellent choice to make that change, if I may say so myself — if for no other reason than it justifies putting the actor’s name in the opening credits.
BARTLET: There’s a delegation of cardiologists having their pictures taken in the Blue Room. You wouldn’t think you could find a group of people more arrogant than the fifteen of us, but there they are, right upstairs in the Blue Room.
Is this part of his way of trying to get the Chiefs to “accept” him? Jokes are part of his folksy charm, after all. Thankfully for him, they actually laughed at his joke, so it seems to have worked.
FITZWALLACE: I think Mr. Cashmen and Secretary Hutchinson would each tell you what I’m sure you already know, sir —
What happened to Berryhill?
FITZWALLACE: — that this strike would be seen both at home and abroad as a staggering overreaction by a first time Commander in Chief…
Once again, we’re over half a year into this administration, and yet this decision is being treated as the President’s first for some reason. Must have been a thoroughly uneventful semester…
FITZWALLACE: … that without the support of our allies, without a Western coalition, without Great Britain and Japan, and without Congress, you’ll have doled out five thousand dollars worth of punishment for a fifty buck crime, sir.
Last episode established the death toll from the plane’s destruction at 1248 people — “Morris, 1200 other doctors, 42 support staff, and a crew of five”. For reference, the attacks of September 11, which happened two years after this episode, are estimated to have had 2977 immediate casualties, along with approximately 2550 secondary casualties — 1400 rescue workers who have died after-the-fact, 1140 cancer diagnoses from civilians who were nearby, and at least ten miscarriages. By Fitzwallace’s math, that would put those crimes’ Blue Book Value at approximately $120 or $220. What figure do you suppose we place on the punishments?
BARTLET: Thank you.
“I had to ask…”
BARTLET: Does, uh, anyone have a cigarette?
(an officer pulls out a pack and a lighter then slides them toward the President)
So they allow smoking in the Situation Room, eh? Got it, noting that for later.
BARTLET: How does this work?
You’ve been President for over half a year, sir, you know exactly how this works!
FITZWALLACE: You give me the go order, sir.
BARTLET: (sighs)
(long pause)
FITZWALLACE: Mr. President?
(after a beat, BARTLET nods)
FITZWALLACE: This is Fitzwallace, I have a go order from the President.
You do? The man only nodded, are you sure you want to testify under oath that the nod constituted a go order? I’d personally wait for verbal confirmation, if I were in the same position.
FITZWALLACE: Well done, Mr. President.
BARTLET: “Fifty buck crime”? I honestly don’t know what the hell we’re doing here.
I have to agree, considering this set doesn’t appear to be attached to anything remotely close to what we see elsewhere in this show’s West Wing.
JOSH: Hey, Sam — this is Sam Seaborn, deputy communications director. This is Charlie Young, he’s here for Ted’s job.
Further proof we’re over half a year into the administration: there’s already been turnover for the personal aide position. Somehow we never hear about Ted writing his Book™, though…
SAM: You ever tried to overthrow the government?
CHARLIE: N-no, sir.
SAM: What the hell’s been stopping you?
You may recall from an entry five months ago where I wrote about how I’ve been keeping up a backlog of entries so far but that I wasn’t sure how long that backlog would last. As of my writing this entry, the backlog is still seven months deep — I’m doing fine on that front, at least for now. That does mean, however, that these entries won’t be abreast of current events when they are published. At the point of my writing this, though, I’m hoping to fuck by the time this gets published, you my dear reader are part of the resistance network against President Vance — but please don’t make it a violent overthrow if you can help it.
NEW Sorkin Name: Dean(n)a
JOSH: Charlie, I wonder if you could tell me about your social life, your friends, what you like to do —
SAM: Josh, I cannot believe you.
JOSH: Sam.
CHARLIE: Well, uh, th-there’s my sister Deana, and um… um, I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you’re asking.
SAM: He’s asking if you’re gay, Charlie, and I wouldn’t answer the damn question.
JOSH: Alright, that’s it, Sam, let’s take a walk.
SAM: You know what, feel free to sue our asses off. I’ll represent you, if you’d like.
#SamSeabornIsAnAsshole
JOSH: It’s not like you didn’t know you were gonna be held to a higher standard when you took this job.
SAM: I don’t mind being held to a higher standard, I mind being held to a lower one.
Good god, Sam is so dramatically missing the point — his actions reflect on the President, but he deliberately withheld knowledge of his actions from the person in charge of ensuring the President’s image is well-reflected. That’s the only thing he’s done wrong here, yet he thinks he’s being told otherwise.
TOBY: Leo’s office.
JOSH: What?
TOBY: It’s happening.
Stunning specificity, man…
RETURNING Dialogue Motif: You and me both
Previous instances: Sports Night 117, 119; earlier in this episode
LEO: C.J., nothing to the press until you get the high sign from me — no head starts.
C.J.: They’re gonna wonder what all the fuss is about.
LEO: Then let’s not have any fuss.
C.J.: I could use a few minutes with the President at some point.
LEO: You and me both.
C.J.: I’m not kidding Leo, this is —
LEO: You’ll be there.
C.J.: This is the first —
LEO: You’ll be there, C.J.
Again with the “first” marker! What the hell has this administration been doing for half a year?
RETURNING Verbal Tic: How ya doin’
Running count: 20
JOSH: How ya doin’?
LEO: (beat) Fine.
JOSH: Leo, Toby says he’s snapping at the First Lady —
LEO: Not now, Josh — I mean, you’re right, but not now.
The filtering continues — though at least this time Leo acknowledges the problem exists rather than just offering a “don’t worry about it”.
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Miller
Previous instance: A Few Good Men
JOSH: I’m interviewing this kid for Ted Miller’s job, and he’s a real special kid.
“He doesn’t have trouble getting his mail, either.”
JOSH: He’s applied himself in school, I’m sure he’d be articulate if he weren’t terrified.
Uh oh… he just referred to a Black person as ‘articulate’. I’m sure he means well, though, so I’m inclined to let it slide.
JOSH: I really like him, Leo, I want to hire him.
LEO: What’s the problem?
JOSH: He’s Black.
LEO: So’s the Attorney General and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.
The Attorney General is Black — got it, saving that information for later.
JOSH: I’m not wild about the visual — a young Black man holding his overnight bag?
LEO: Josh, I hold the door open for the President, it’s an honor. This is serious business, this isn’t casting. We get the guy for the job and we take it from there.
This jab at “casting” was likely intended as a preemptive get-out-of-jail-free card for when criticism of hiring a Black actor for a servant role starts flowing in. Frankly, considering how the man’s role expands over the course of the show, I’m not inclined to raise the criticism myself.
JOSH: Tough day.
FITZWALLACE: It’ll be a lot tougher on them than on us.
Will it, though? We’ve already established our targets have all been long abandoned in anticipation of the strike, so how tough will it be on the Syrians, exactly?
FITZWALLACE: Tell him it’s always like this the first time.
I still can’t get over this: somehow, no one has attacked the United States in this manner in the first half year of a new administration. That cannot possibly be realistic.
LEO: Do you have any problem with a young Black man waiting on the President?
FITZWALLACE: I’m an old Black man and I wait on the President.
LEO: The kid’s gotta carry his bags —
FITZWALLACE: You gonna pay him a decent wage?
LEO: Yeah.
FITZWALLACE: You gonna treat him with respect in the workplace?
LEO: Yeah.
FITZWALLACE: Then why the hell should I care?
LEO: That’s what I thought.
FITZWALLACE: I’ve got some real honest-to-god battles to fight, Leo. I don’t have time for the cosmetic ones.
It’s like they’re talking directly to the audience…
SAM: Unprovoked and cold-blooded.
TOBY: It needs a third.
…
SAM: Unwarranted, unprovoked —
TOBY: Yes, and cold-blooded. Unwarranted.
SAM: Unprovoked.
TOBY: And cold-blooded.
The science of listener attention, ladies and gentlemen!foreshadowing detected
SAM: I’m sorry about before.
C.J.: Yeah.
SAM: I’m just really very fond of her, is all.
C.J.: Go back to work.
Er… is C.J. forgiving him right now? Her word choice is parsimonious enough to suggest not, but her body language is ambiguous to me. If she is forgiving him, then she is definitely an overly forgiving soul, if you ask me…
REPORTER: Fitzwallace was in Leo’s office.
C.J.: Admiral Fitzwallace is Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Leo McGarry is White House Chief of Staff, I’m your host C.J., let’s play our game.
…
REPORTER: Why all the activity?
C.J.: Menudo’s in the building.
Had to look it up because I’m a whippersnapper: Menudo was, and apparently still is, a Puerto Rican boy band with a Ship of Theseus-style lineup that is evidently considered the “most iconic Latino pop music band”, despite the fact that I’ve never heard of them — and don’t say it’s because I’m not into Latino pop music, because I used to listen to Juanes growing up.
NEW Sorkin Player: Timothy Busfield
Character: Danny Concannon
C.J.: Oh, man, I’d honestly think that you of all people…
DANNY: We need to talk.
And another A Few Good Men stage alumnus joins the fray!
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Dan/Danny
Previous instances: A Few Good Men, Sports Night, The West Wing 101
C.J.: Danny, I haven’t called a full lid, they’ll obviously be a briefing if the President has engaged the use of military force.
DANNY: Thanks — since I’ve only been a White House reporter for seven years, I appreciate your clearing that up.
(beep) Sarcasm Self Test complete! (beep)
NEW Verbal Tic: Not for nothing
DANNY: Not for nothing, but I know Sam Seaborn’s been going around with a three thousand dollar a night call girl — and I thought you should know that I know. (beat) Ask me inside, C.J.
C.J.: Inside.
No, no, C.J., he said ask, not order — oh, who am I kidding, it doesn’t matter.
JOSH: I have nothing to do.
DONNA: I can see.
…
JOSH: Like a writer on a movie set.
DONNA: Have you ever been on a movie set?
JOSH: (beat) No, but I hear stories.
Do you suppose Mr. Sorkin is letting out a cry for help here? He basically implies with this exchange that he had little to no creative control over the production of the movies he’s penned up to this point. If that’s the case, then I suppose it’s not his fault that scene from The American President got cut.Fucking still can’t fucking believe that fucking got cut, fucking goddammit…
MANDY: Josh, your office sucks.
Oh yeah, we have this other character in the show, don’t we?
JOSH: It’s been pretty bad around here since it happened.
MANDY: I had a hunch.
JOSH: The combination of American lives and Morris, the idea of using any force at all…
MANDY: We always said he’d be in his head.
Oh yeah, that’s right, she was part of the campaign, too — and I’m sure that’s not a fact that will be retconned away at any point…sarcasm detected
MANDY: This was taken the night we met, at that seafood place by the Democratic Leadership Conference.
JOSH: Look at that.
MANDY: You couldn’t stop staring at me.
JOSH: Well, you were wearing quite the ensemble that night, Madeline.
Okay, seriously, why did Mr. Sorkin think Mandy was an acceptable short form for Madeline? ‘Maddie’, I’d accept — especially considering the character — but ‘Mandy’ from Madeline is a stretch. I ain’t lingering.
DANNY: I just want to let you know I’m gonna be asking around.
C.J.: Danny, it’s gonna be much ado about nothing.
Uh oh — is C.J. aware that “much ado about nothing” is a double entendre? It’s particularly embarrassing in this instance considering the subject matter of the conversation.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: I’ll tell you what else
Running count: 5
C.J.: Sam knows the difference between right and wrong, and so do you. Would it make my life easier if he wasn’t friends with this woman? Absolutely, but Sam is a grown up and I don’t get to choose his friends, and your readers don’t get to judge them, and I’ll tell you what else — there’s something commendable about Sam’s behavior here, don’t ask me what but there is, and I’m stickin’ by him until the President orders me otherwise…
Much like Isaac in Sports Night, C.J. plays the role of the public face who will vociferously defend her colleagues to outside parties while privately reaming those same colleagues on the same subject. This demonstration makes her colleagues’ distrust of her all the more sad, really, considering Sam ostensibly assumed C.J. wasn’t going to defend him despite the fact she definitely was going to do just that. It won’t be the last time C.J.’s efficacy will be challenged, either — but we’ll get there when we get there.
DANNY: … you better get D’ed up here, because not everyone’s a good guy — and you’re gonna start to get traction on something which maybe somebody else isn’t such a fan of, and they’re gonna put a tail on Seaborn if they haven’t already.
…
C.J.: Hang on a second, I’m gonna give you a ten minute head start on something.
DANNY: What for?
C.J.: Being a good guy.
Woah, hold on — Leo specifically told you no head starts today, C.J.! What’s so special about this one, hmm?
JOSH: This used to be the White House Counsel’s office ‘til Toby and the Communications staff conquered and pillaged.
I’m having a hard time finding the source of information I had on it for an unrelated project, but I’m pretty sure the story about the White House Counsel’s offices’ getting repurposed is a mythology gag for something that actually happened during the Clinton administration — starting out the administration, that area housed the White House Counsel and his deputy, but by the end it housed the communications director and her deputy.
TOBY: Well, if you look at the new [paragraph —]
BARTLET: [I can’t] look at anything, fellas. Mrs. Landingham, I need my glasses!
Are you kidding me? It’s been an entire work day and his glasses still haven’t been found? Where have the porters been looking?
BARTLET: When do we get the BDA?
TOBY: Uh…
SAM: There’s a problem with that, sir.
BARTLET: Why?!
TOBY: Ordinarily we get help with early information from sources inside the Syrian Intelligence [corps.]
BARTLET: [So what’s] the problem?
TOBY: We just blew up the Syrian Intelligence corps.
Well, no, we already established the building we blew up was abandoned, did we not? Surely their intelligence op has been set up elsewhere at this point, no?
C.J.: Mr. President, if you’ll take a minute or two to familiarize yourself with the Phoenix, the press [will —]
BARTLET: [I got] the briefing on the Phoenix.
C.J.: You understand I’m not talking about the Sidewinder.
BARTLET: The Phoenix — I got the briefing on the Phoenix last night, I studied the report, Hutchinson was there, in my private study.
(CHARLIE starts whispering to JOSH)
Detective Charlie on the case?
CHARLIE: Mr. President? (everyone looks) You said you read the Phoenix report in —
BARTLET: What?!
CHARLIE: You said you read the Phoenix report in your private study last night, sir.
BARTLET: What of it? Who is this?
LANDINGHAM: (to NANCY) Have a steward go to the President’s study, have him look under the papers on the coffee table.
Nope, I’m still not sold — how could the stewards not already have searched the President’s study for his glasses? This is a contrivance and a half…
JOSH: Mr. President, this is Charles [Young, he’s your —]
BARTLET: [I don’t have any time] for new people now!
LEO: (aside) Alright, that’s it.
Here it comes.
LEO: (closing doors) Well, you’ve gone through everyone who works for you and everyone who’s married to you. I didn’t know who else you could get mad at, so I was afraid the American people might be next.
When he closes the doors like that, you know he means business.
BARTLET: Did you know that two thousand years ago, a Roman citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words civis romanis, I am a Roman citizen — so great was the retribution of Rome universally understood as certain should any harm befall even one of its citizens.
Is that why Rome was so easy to sack? Because it let slip the dogs of war every time one of its citizens was killed in foreign lands to the point they got stretched thin?
LEO: We are behaving the way a superpower ought to behave.
BARTLET: Well, our behavior has produced pretty crappy results — in fact, I’m not a hundred percent sure it hasn’t induced it.
LEO: What are you talking about?
BARTLET: I’m talking about two hundred and eighty-six American marines in Beirut! I’m talking about Somalia, I’m talking about Nairobi!
So all the events the President references here have canonically happened in the West Wing universe, eh? And yet this is the first notable attack against the United States in his administration? (That’s right, folks, I’m not letting this out of my teeth.)
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Damn right
Running count: 3
LEO: And you think ratcheting up the body count’s gonna act as a deterrent?
BARTLET: You’re damn [right I do.]
LEO: [Oh, then you are] just as stupid as these guys who think capital punishment’s gonna be a deterrent for drug kingpins — as if drug kingpins didn’t live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process.
Interesting that Leo goes straight to drug kingpins in his mocking of the idea — I’ve largely heard the deterrent argument for capital punishment applied to people in general rather than just professional outlaws. The argument of course is still idiotic when applied to the general population, but that idea appears to be getting sidestepped in this moment — almost makes me wonder what we’ll get of capital punishment later…foreshadowing detected
LEO: So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord… you can do that. We’re the only superpower left, you can conquer the world, like Charlemange… but you better be prepared to kill everyone — and you better start with me, ‘cause I will raise up an army against you and I will beat you!
So, uh… Leo’s basically threatening treason here, is he not? It’s quite the way to establish we’re seeing a friend-to-friend intervention rather than a subordinate talking down his boss.
BARTLET: We are doing nothing.
LEO: We are not doing nothing
BARTLET: We’re destroying —
LEO: — four high-rated military targets.
BARTLET: And this is good?
LEO: Of course it’s not good, there is no good, it’s what there is. It’s how you behave if you’re the most powerful nation in the world. It’s proportional, it’s reasonable, it’s responsible, it’s merciful. It’s not nothing, four high-rated military targets.
BARTLET: Which they’ll rebuild again in six months.
LEO: Then we’ll blow ‘em up again in six months, we’re getting really good at it!
Hoo boy, you have no idea, Leo…
LEO: It’s what our fathers taught us.
BARTLET: Why didn’t you say so?
WARNING: CONTINUITY ERROR DETECTED!!
Oh, dear — I would have thought the President’s quip last episode about being back at his father’s dinner table meant Mr. Sorkin had an idea for the backstory early on, but apparently not. I don’t think it’s fair to say President Bartlet’s father was a man of proportional responses, given what we see later down the line.
BARTLET: Oh, man, Leo… when I think of all the work you put in to get me to run… when I think of all the work you did to get me elected… I could pummel your ass with a baseball bat.
(both laugh)
You have a funny way of showing affection, sir.
LEO: Coles goes on the radio yesterday and he says people in his district love America and you better not come down there ‘cause you might not get out alive.
…
BARTLET: Ziegler must be ballistic.
Oh, you know him so well, Mr. Presidentforeshadowing detected — in point of fact, he’s kept his response proportional!
BARTLET: Oh, by the way, who was that kid before? The one who figured out where my glasses were.
LEO: Well, if you want him, that’s your new body man.
BARTLET: What’s his story?
Man, it really says something to hear the President assume any new person in his employ has a story — it betrays a tendency to care deeply about every person he hires, and also implies we’ll be hearing the stories of everyone else eventually. Mr. Sorkin set this show up well, let me tell you…
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Margaret/Maggie
Previous instance: The West Wing (recurring)
C.J.: Maggie Greenwald is quoting you as saying, “The Secret Service investigates all threats made against the President and it’s White House policy not to comment.”
TOBY: Yeah.
C.J.: Did you say that?
TOBY: Yeah. (beat) Hey, you don’t suppose that’s how the story got started, do ya? (beat) You know what, C.J., you tell Bert Coles that Toby Ziegler said there’s a new sheriff in town.
“Never mind, don’t say that, that sounded stupid. ‘A new sheriff in town’? What, is that supposed to be funny?”
RETURNING Sorkin Name: Tom
Previous instances: A Few Good Men, Sports Night 103
BARTLET: Listen, Leo McGarry filled me in on the situation with your mother, I’m so very sorry. I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. Your mother was killed by a Western .38 Revolver firing KTWs, or what are known as ‘cop killer bullets’. Now, we have not had a whole lot of success yet in banning that weapon and those bullets off the streets, but we’re planning on taking a big whack at it when Congress comes back from recess. So what do you say, you wanna come help us out?
CHARLIE: Yes, sir, I do.
Cares deeply, indeed — the joys of having the FBI on speed dial.
RETURNING Verbal Tic: Get away from me
Running count: 2
LEO: That’s a pretty ugly tie.
BARTLET: My granddaughter gave me this tie.
LEO: My nephew gave me an ashtray he made at summer camp.
BARTLET: Get away from me. Somebody throw this guy out of the building!
“He threatened treason against me earlier and everything!”
NEW Dialogue Motif: The “you were right” setup
CHARLIE: I’ve never felt like this before.
JOSH: It doesn’t go away.
Checking… yep, I’m still a sap, don’t knock me for it.
Again like with Sports Night, I’d argue it takes three episodes for Mr. Sorkin to establish the series, and again in this case I welcome what we get. This episode raises the stakes of our heroes’ working in the White House appropriately while still keeping an appropriate balance between drama and humor, with Richard Schiff in particular making plenty of hay out of the small part he plays in this episode. The story arc for Sam has still yet to get me to cheer for him, unfortunately, as his misdirected anger toward his colleagues leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Despite that, this episode gives us plenty good reason to cheer for both the President and Leo, and also for C.J. with her handling of Sam’s situation. Early installment weirdness aside, Mr. Sorkin definitely hit the ground running with this series.
For those of you reading who haven’t done so yet, I’d highly recommend subscribing to this blog to ensure you have the earliest possible access to each new entry as it comes out. Coming up next: casting gag, anyone?
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